Comedian Jason Good Puts Together a Hilarious List of the Differences Between Raising Your First and Second Kid

Anyone who has had more than one child can vouch for how differently their approach is to the second child versus the first. Every first time parent admits to being a perfectionist and perhaps just a little uptight when it came to their new baby’s food, clothes, room, and so on. But by the time a second child comes along who really cares…just kidding. But parents have definitely learned a thing or two from the first time around and what is important, so often times the second child is approached with a slightly different, little less uptight attitude! Comedian Jason Good sums it up perfectly with a funny, exaggerated list featured in his book “This is Ridiculous, This is Amazing”. 

“Raising Your First vs. Raising Your Second Child”

By Jason Good, Father of two

1. Food

First child: All homemade in special baby-food processor. Quinoa! Spinach! Sweet potatoes!

Second kid: Crackers.

2. Bed

First kid: Crib that Daddy put together himself while Mommy yelled at him.

Second kid: Mommy’s bed. Daddy now has his own room with a mattress on the floor surrounded by dirty socks.

3. Clothes

First kid: One hundred percent organic cotton. Some even made of bamboo? 

Second kid: His brother’s old clothes.

4. Parties

First kid: In our backyard with a piñata hanging from the Japanese maple.

Second kid: Pizza on the floor.

5. Bathing

First kid: Every night in a special bathtub that’s just the right size. Hand-washed with a soft or silky sponge. 

Second kid: Twice a week. Swimming pools count.

6. Nighttime routine

First kid: Swaddled in a Miracle Blanket. “Baby Beluga” sung to him. Asleep by 7:30pm.

Second kid: Falls asleep on the sofa with mom’s breast in his mouth at 10:30pm.

7. Friends

First kid: Playgroups, mommy and baby get-togethers in the park!

Second kid: His brother’s friends.

8. Toys

First kid: All handmade out of wood. Mostly Swedish.

Second kid: The boxes his brother’s toys came out of.

9. Shoes

First kid: Something European with an umlaut in its name.

Second kid: Old muddy shoes with faded umlaut and missing sole insert.

10. Potty training

First kid: Diapers, then some kind of training underwear, then underwear.

Second kid: Might wear a diaper till college.

11. Babysitter

First kid: A wonderful woman named Sarah, whom he loves and will cherish for the rest of his life.

Second kid: Doesn’t have one. We never go out.

ONCEKids Publishing is run by literacy advocate and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker.  Click here to find her acclaimed books