Wednesday, August 26, 2015

The Back to School Frenzy: Why we Need a Bro Code for Moms #BackToSchool (PART 2 of 2)

He doesn’t see the competitive chaos that has crept in everywhere. Lining up the tutors, coaches, instructors, and activities is the baseline. Then I hear about all the skills training and amazing adventures all the other kids had. Shoot! I should have skipped the relatives and sent my child to an academic boot camp or a total immersion language program. I start to second-guess myself. Am I doing enough?

I already have a pile of back-to-school nights on the calendar. 

The back-to-school frenzy is one place a mom’s code would help. I will illustrate with a few true scenarios.

ONCEKids Publishing is run by literacy advocate and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker.  Click here to find her acclaimed books

The mom who asks at the sixth grade session, “What can be done to accommodate my child who studied math at John Hopkins and should really be working above grade level?” makes us cringe. As my friend Lanie says, “I wish someone would sew her mouth shut.”

Or the mom at the seventh grade session who says, “I think exceptions should be made for some children to take Latin and another language. Latin will help on the standardized tests, but it’s a dead language so the brightest kids should take two languages.” I think she believes we live in the Netherlands where every eleven year old should speak at least three languages. Then again, being able to talk in a dead language to zombies and vampires might come in useful. I’m joking. Comments like these add too much pressure and ‘schedule panic’ to the laid back ‘meet and greet’ atmosphere the teacher is struggling to create. Please reserve this for a one-on-one with the teacher. 

Or, one of my favorites, at the fourth grade open house, all the good field trips are filled up before the back-to-school event starts and the guilty parents run to the bathroom as the other parents, who are first in line, start to point fingers. Add on pick-ups and drop-offs rules that are never followed by some parents who think they have more rights than the rest of us. Every year there is a mass of chaos. I think the school should designate a ‘for special people only’ line as this is one line people would want to be seen in. There should be some line, somewhere that moms feel embarrassed to cross.

School hasn’t even begun and the voice classes are full. The same is true for drama and dance. My kids sometimes change their mind about what sports or activities they want to sign up for, but by then there are no spaces left! Things filled up months ago. How I can execute my strategic mommy agenda when my little monsters keep weighing in and asserting their strong wills against my overscheduling and worry?

My kids aren’t worried about a lack of college prep or making a sports team at school. Or advancing a level in piano or starring in the school show. Or securing the best tutor. I worry that they are not worried about the right things. But deep down inside I know they are worried about the right things (like humongous kicking giraffes and clowns) and I need to step back out of the competitive chaos and keep some perspective.

I will participate to some extent because some of it is okay. But we need a few ground rules. I’m hungry and sleep deprived and don’t have time for the competitive nonsense. Or else I’m going to buckle and eat a bowl of brownie batter. And I’m only one day into my diet.

It’s time we admitted that we need a Bro Code for Moms. The Mom’s Code.


Eileen Wacker, a Harvard Business School graduate, lived and worked in seven different countries, including the United States. She commuted to Asia for nearly three years as part of a business development team, which sparked her interest in Asian culture, then lived in Seoul Korea for four years. Wacker now resides in Honolulu, Hawaii, with her husband and four children, one of whom is a daughter adopted from China. She wrote the Mom’s Code, which includes over 100 stories from women around the globe about raising kids in today’s challenging arena. She is also a passionate and involved advocate for children’s literacy. For more information please visit her new website: https://momscode.com/preview/tenets

The Back to School Frenzy: Why we Need a Bro Code for Moms #BackToSchool (PART 1 of 2)

I just pulled an all-nighter. Not a partying all-nighter with friends, but a night spent staring at the ceiling with a giant ‘to-do’ list looping through my head. Eyes wide open, trapped in my worry vortex. It’s back-to-school season and I’m exhausted and frazzled.

On one hand, having my four kids back with their friends at school will be blissful. We’ve had lots of together time, traveling to the East Coast to see family and friends, sleeping in princess beds and doing laundry on the fly. Stressful travel and time changes threw a few moments of suffering our way, but it was worth all the fuss to catch up and reconnect.

ONCEKids Publishing is run by literacy advocate and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker.  Click here to find her acclaimed books

My kids miss socializing with their friends when they are on a long break. When I drop the last kid off at the school curb, I celebrate. I can finally get some work done. I can have lunch with a friend and eat food that I want to eat. I can start to work out again. All the fast food, ice creams, meals out and barbeques add up. Building childhood memories is fattening and I need to lose weight. But when I’m really hungry, I lose patience more easily and end up yelling at my kids.

I’ve spent the last week getting school supplies and making sure they have the right clothes for the school dress code, PE, and sports. I was taking my daughters back-to-school clothes shopping today. They are pretty fun to shop with if they get to pick out their own clothes. My oldest daughter said, “Can I ask you a question?” She had already asked me about 167 questions and I was sure I’d been asked over 300 questions from the four kids combined. “Can Asheley sleep over? Can you pick her up? Her mom works. Can I meet some friends at the movies tomorrow and go to the beach if there is no hurricane? Can we get pesto sauce so I can make pasta to bring the first day?” She doesn’t wait for answers. I want her to enjoy her last moments before school, but her proposed agenda times four kids makes me start to clutch the wheel and sweat. Her sister wants her friend to come over for two days of swimming, Dave and Busters and hide and seek. My son is all-in on bowling and reminding me that he is absolutely the only eighth grader in his school or on this planet for that matter who is not allowed to see rated ‘R’ movies. My other son’s club basketball started and there is practice or a game every day in all different parts of the city.
My kids claim I force them to go to summer school, tennis, running and basketball camps and National Geographic expeditions. They insinuate I stole their summer and owe them these last moments of fun. I want to yell, “It’s for your own good and I had to pay for it and get you there with the thousand pounds of gear you needed!” But I have to remain the bigger person, at least until I get them to the school gates.

Thank goodness for my mom friends. We all have slightly different versions of the same stories. We get together and we vent. This is the cleanse diet for stress. I can’t really vent to my husband or he gets out some random power tool ready to fix something, or makes the colossal mistake of saying, “You always overschedule them. You need to cut this out.”

Click here for Part 2


Eileen Wacker, a Harvard Business School graduate, lived and worked in seven different countries, including the United States. She commuted to Asia for nearly three years as part of a business development team, which sparked her interest in Asian culture, then lived in Seoul Korea for four years. Wacker now resides in Honolulu, Hawaii, with her husband and four children, one of whom is a daughter adopted from China. She wrote the Mom’s Code, which includes over 100 stories from women around the globe about raising kids in today’s challenging arena. She is also a passionate and involved advocate for children’s literacy. For more information please visit her new website: https://momscode.com/preview/tenets


Wednesday, August 19, 2015

How to Make Back to School Fun For Everyone

As it does every year, the summer has flown by and it is already time for kids to be going back to school. Although the summer months coming to a close is always disappointing, for many parents sending their kids back to school is not quite as bittersweet! What can be chaotic, however, is making that transition from a summer routine back into a school routine.

ONCEKids Publishing is run by literacy advocate and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker.  Click here to find her acclaimed books
For children, the end of summer can be a sad time and for those who are nervous about going to school, it can also be quite anxiety provoking. However, there are some ways that parents can ease anxiety and keep the fun going even as the summer winds down. Keeping kids positive and happy about the start of school makes the transition from a summer routine easier for everyone involved. 

Mommy Blogger and writer for MadameNoire, Tanvier Peart, gives some of her best advice for how parents can make the most of the end of summer and get their kids back on track for school. 

1. Make back to school shopping an exciting event
Finding new clothes and checking off all the supplies on their seemingly endless school supplies list can be a hassle and sometimes end up as a source of stress if the kids are not enthused about the trip. By trying to make it a really exciting event that signifies back to school and getting new stuff, it will pump kids up and most likely make them more pleasant shopping companions- and make the expedition run a lot more smoothly in general. 

2. Talk up their grade
Making the grade your child is about to go into sound really cool and exciting will most likely ease some of the anxiety or dread of the upcoming first day of school and make kids proud to be getting older and moving up in school. 

3. Host an end of summer bash or cookout
Ending the summer with a really fun neighborhood get together or cookout with family and friends will give the whole family something to look forward to and make the last bit of summer really count. 
In addition to a cookout, host a family game night or camp out in the backyard. 

4. Create a stylish homework station
Every student, from kindergarteners to high schoolers, need a quiet space to do their homework every day after school- so use this time to find the best spot in the house to dub the homework station, whether it is in the child’s room, an office, or a corner in the kitchen. Then, make it fun by decorating the station and adding some stylish supplies. Have the kids help you to get them more excited too and make homework as fun as homework can be!

5. Create a fall activities calendar 
For kids who are really bummed about the end of summer, it is important to remind them that just because summer is ending doesn’t mean that the fun stops. Create a fall activities list or calendar to show kids all the fun activities there are to do in the fall, even when they’ve gone back to school. This list might help to ease your end-of-summer-blues, as well! 

Parents! Let us know: How do you make back to school time fun for your kids? 

ONCEKids Publishing is run by literacy advocate and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker.  Click here to find her acclaimed books