Written by Eileen Wacker
My most profound memories stand out as moments of extreme joy or pain. Many of the most joyous ones happened during celebrations when I embraced my family’s love, received gifts, ate favorite foods, dressed in new clothes, and felt perfectly carefree without school or other obligations.
My most profound memories stand out as moments of extreme joy or pain. Many of the most joyous ones happened during celebrations when I embraced my family’s love, received gifts, ate favorite foods, dressed in new clothes, and felt perfectly carefree without school or other obligations.
But that was when I was young and sat on the fence as to
whether unicorns are actually real. As a mom, I started to consider
celebrations a chore. They are endless:
birthdays (including the dogs), Christmas, Thanksgiving, July 4th,
Halloween, Easter, and Valentines Day are the headliners. Then there are
graduation ceremonies starting with pre-school, piano recital parties and all
those Monday holidays too numerous to list. So things can get a little out of
control.
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It’s the end of April and I’m planning three kids’ birthday
parties, an eighth grade graduation, and the family summer vacation. This is
all in addition to the ‘normal routine’.
I put too much emphasis on creating perfect celebration
events. As a mom of four, I feel like I own the traditions and should create
memories to last a lifetime. But inevitably, a thousand issues push their way
onto my perfect planning. I’ve had meltdowns at my kids’ carefully orchestrated
and expensive birthday parties. One time an angry clown showed up and scared my
son; to this day we avoid clowns. Or when
my daughter’s best friend ignored her during her party or yet another time when
the dog took a big bite out of the Nemo birthday cake.
Then there are vacations, which are supposed to be times of
perfect familial bliss. We’ve spent a lot of money and I’ve put a lot of time
and energy into planning and creating the appropriate atmosphere of excitement.
Then I yelled at my kids at the happiest place on earth, yes Disney. And at
least one child has packed dreadfully wrong every time. One time my son took
all his clothes out of the suitcase and packed only Halloween costumes for a
beach vacation. We never all have the right bathing suits, and, sunscreen leaks
in the suitcase are a common occurrence. When we ski during the holiday season,
there is always someone who has no pants or forgot covered shoes.
I can mess up any holiday! I hosted a Thanksgiving dinner
and the oven broke two hours into cooking the turkey. So we ate take-out Chinese
food (and it was delicious). Now we eat a fine meal at an upscale hotel in
Kauai every year. I know I’m in a good mood when all my kids resemble glasses
of champagne. And then someone actually serves me one. I look at my husband and
kids and feel festive and happy. Even when the kids eat the dessert first,
order French fries off the menu, and the birds swoop in and eat food off our plates.
So now, in April, I take a deep breath and remember that it’s
who’s sitting next to me that make it a celebration. It really doesn’t take a lot
to have fun. I know what kind of cake my kids like by now. I can handle any
birthday party with one Costco run. And iTunes cards double as a birthday gift
or party favor.
The Moms Code author Eileen Wacker also writes the acclaimed childrens books The Fujimini Adventure Series. Many proud parents just like you appreciate multi-cultural education for your children. Find the book series by clicking here.
I remind myself to celebrate smaller things; celebrate good
moments. I pick up my son and he tells me he got a great grade in Spanish. “You
got an A on your homework? Well that is worth celebrating!” I half yell in an
inappropriately cheerful voice. He looks at me with raised eyebrows and asks if
I’m okay. Then I pick up my little girl and she’s had a tough day. People on
her group project are not getting along and someone called her small.
I put on my pretend birthday party hat. There is something
worth celebrating every day. Life is not easy for anyone, adult or child. Kids
have big schedules. They have to work through adversity at school, deal with
insensitive teachers and coaches. Strive to establish their identity. I want to
keep the atmosphere light and happy. My little girl loves an iced tea and a chocolate
croissant from Starbucks. It’s all it takes to have her light up and feel
completely happy. Someday, I’m going to kill for the moments when the price of
a smile was an iced tea.
I want to celebrate the journey and all the accomplishments,
big and small, along the way. After all this practicing of celebrating the
small stuff, I’ll be a whiz at the big celebrations. My little girl says, “Mom,
all you need is wrapping paper and cupcakes.” I ask her, “For the summer
vacation or birthday party?” She smiles and says, “Both. I always forget my
bathing suit anyways so I can wear wrapping paper. That would be funny.”
She’s right. It would be funny and we would have another
entry for our family blooper reel of celebrations.
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