Thanksgiving Lesson: Can’t Judge a Person by Their Neighborhood

Written By

Kenna McHugh

“The love of family and the admiration of friends is much more important than wealth and privilege.” Charles Kuralt

When I was nine years old, my Girl Scout troop organized a Thanksgiving project sharing home cooked meals from four different nationalities. The project not only taught me about ethnic foods but it taught me you can’t always judge a person by their neighborhood.

Many proud parents just like you appreciate multi-cultural education for your children.  Find this award-winning book series by clicking here. 

We had Japanese, Chinese, Russian, and Mexican families who agreed to share their traditional meals. The troop leader organized a chart, so everyone knew where to go on which night during the month of November.

Teresa’s family was sponsoring the Mexican dinner. They lived in a neighborhood with low rise houses, the driveways overflowing with rusting pickup trucks and low riding cars. Truthfully, I was afraid to go to her home. I thought, her family and neighborhood were too dangerous.

The irony of my fear came from a project my mother arranged with my brother’s scout troop. She drove the scouts and me through the same neighborhood where Teresa lived. 

I sat in the front seat and looked out the passenger window as my mother slowly drove past abandon buildings with broken glass and crude graffiti “Kill Whites”, “Cop Killers” and “Bring destruction on your head!” There were other dirty words and swear words. Piles of litter sat against the buildings.

My mother said nothing and just drove. We viewed dilapidated houses, homeless people with shopping carts, adults passed out on benches and women in scanty outfits. I was terrified because I had never seen a poverty-stricken neighborhood.

When I found out Teresa was from the same neighborhood, I was afraid of her. I stayed away from her during the Girl Scout meetings.

Knowing I was to have Mexican food with her family petrified me. I worried for two weeks. I couldn’t beg out of it either because it was part of our troop’s badge project.

Learn more about The Moms Code and the tenets of being a happy Mom.

Two hours before I was to arrive at Teresa’s home for the Mexican dinner, I had a meltdown and called her. I told her I was sick and couldn’t make it.  My mom came home. “I am not going,” I cried.  My mom asked what was wrong, I told her my dilemma. “My life is in danger! They might poison me!”

My mom looked pensive and explained that even though Teresa lived in that poor neighborhood her family and home were safe. “Not all the streets and homes are like the ones we saw.”

Teresa’s family lived in a small, old house on a beautiful street with lots of trees. Their home was clean and comfortable. Teresa greeted me, and I apologized. She smiled and said she understood. She and her family were nice and friendly, and the meal was delicious. Not a Thanksgiving goes by where I don’t remember having that meal with Teresa’s family and what I learned. Don’t judge a person by their neighborhood. Feel thankful for friends; feel grateful for experiences; feel grateful for family.

Thanksgiving Traditions: Turkey, Pies and 'Thankful Tree'

Written by

Shelle Lenssen

All families have their own way of doing Thanksgiving and passing on traditions. Growing up, I thought my family's Thanksgiving Dinners were pretty typical. We'd have a big turkey with stuffing, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and Jell-o salad. We'd go around the table and each say something we were thankful for, stuff ourselves silly and take a break to clear the table. Then, the assortment of pies would come out and the real eating would begin.

Learn more about The Moms Code and the tenets of being a happy Mom.

Sometime in my childhood, my dad decreed that on Thanksgiving, we would have the same number of pies as there were people at the table. That meant if it was just our 5-person family at dinner, there would be five pies, and we'd just keep adding pies as we added guests. The more people around the table, the more pies to choose from. Classic pies, such as apple and pumpkin, are always served. Cherry, blueberry, and pecan pies are also regular favorites. We've had various cream pies, custard pies, and my favorite, peanut butter pie. The number of pies really is ridiculous, but the tradition continues and no one complains. Guests leave with their own to-go box of pie slices and those remaining eat pie for breakfast for the next week.

My second-grade daughter is preparing for her class's annual Thankful Feast next week. The children are supposed to bring a food item that is traditional to their family's Thanksgiving meal. When talking with me about this project, my daughter was a little frustrated because she didn't think we had any unique Thanksgiving traditions. To her, a dessert table overflowing with pies was just something she'd seen her whole life and assumed other families did the same thing. She was pleasantly surprised to learn the abundance of pies was indeed unique to us and is happy to share this tradition with her class. Together, we’ll assemble 25 mini peanut butter pies and she’ll proudly pass them out and talk about her family’s Thanksgiving pie tradition.

Many proud parents just like you appreciate multi-cultural education for your children.  Find this award-winning book series by clicking here. 

While our pie tradition has been around longest, my husband and I are working to make other Thanksgiving attributes, such as gratitude, generosity, and service, part of our annual event as well. For the past three years, we’ve cut out a paper “Thankful Tree” and decorated it with leaves listing out the many things we’re thankful for. Everything from family members, pets, and friends to chocolate and favorite toys gets listed and by Thanksgiving our Thankful Tree is just as overcrowded at our pie table. We’re adding in a new service tradition this year and our family will be volunteering to fill the shelves at our local food bank. We’ve been talking with our kids about helping others and now it’s time we put words into action. As much as we enjoy our pie tradition, creating a heritage of gratitude and service is ultimately more rewarding.

Thanksgiving Traditions: Turkey, Pies and 'Thankful Tree'

Written by

Shelle Lenssen

All families have their own way of doing Thanksgiving and passing on traditions. Growing up, I thought my family's Thanksgiving Dinners were pretty typical. We'd have a big turkey with stuffing, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and Jell-o salad. We'd go around the table and each say something we were thankful for, stuff ourselves silly and take a break to clear the table. Then, the assortment of pies would come out and the real eating would begin.

Learn more about The Moms Code and the tenets of being a happy Mom.

Sometime in my childhood, my dad decreed that on Thanksgiving, we would have the same number of pies as there were people at the table. That meant if it was just our 5-person family at dinner, there would be five pies, and we'd just keep adding pies as we added guests. The more people around the table, the more pies to choose from. Classic pies, such as apple and pumpkin, are always served. Cherry, blueberry, and pecan pies are also regular favorites. We've had various cream pies, custard pies, and my favorite, peanut butter pie. The number of pies really is ridiculous, but the tradition continues and no one complains. Guests leave with their own to-go box of pie slices and those remaining eat pie for breakfast for the next week.

My second-grade daughter is preparing for her class's annual Thankful Feast next week. The children are supposed to bring a food item that is traditional to their family's Thanksgiving meal. When talking with me about this project, my daughter was a little frustrated because she didn't think we had any unique Thanksgiving traditions. To her, a dessert table overflowing with pies was just something she'd seen her whole life and assumed other families did the same thing. She was pleasantly surprised to learn the abundance of pies was indeed unique to us and is happy to share this tradition with her class. Together, we’ll assemble 25 mini peanut butter pies and she’ll proudly pass them out and talk about her family’s Thanksgiving pie tradition.

Many proud parents just like you appreciate multi-cultural education for your children.  Find this award-winning book series by clicking here. 

While our pie tradition has been around longest, my husband and I are working to make other Thanksgiving attributes, such as gratitude, generosity, and service, part of our annual event as well. For the past three years, we’ve cut out a paper “Thankful Tree” and decorated it with leaves listing out the many things we’re thankful for. Everything from family members, pets, and friends to chocolate and favorite toys gets listed and by Thanksgiving our Thankful Tree is just as overcrowded at our pie table. We’re adding in a new service tradition this year and our family will be volunteering to fill the shelves at our local food bank. We’ve been talking with our kids about helping others and now it’s time we put words into action. As much as we enjoy our pie tradition, creating a heritage of gratitude and service is ultimately more rewarding.

The Moms Code: Halloween Mayhem

Written by Eileen Wacker

Halloween is a scary time for year for me, not because I’m afraid of ghosts, but rather because Halloween always ends up putting this mom in the eye of the storm.

Halloween is a controversial holiday in our house. I have four teenagers; no, that is not a ghost story - I actually do. Sometimes the kids can’t wait to decide which costume, friends to go with, and candy routes to pursue. The excitement level and anticipation are huge. But other times (maybe even in the same week), another child declares Halloween to be ‘stupid and babyish’. Yesterday, one of mine yelled, “I’m done with Halloween and I’m never dressing up again!” This happened with no obvious provocation that I observed.

Learn more about The Moms Code and the tenets of being a happy Mom.

This, I have to say does not happen with birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Fourth of July, long weekends with Monday holidays that I don’t know the name of anymore. It is really specific to Ghouls Day.

As a mom, I just try to roll with the household dynamics. Then, today the storm hit. My third child is anxious and has the decision – “do I trick or treat or keep praying I get invited to that party I’m not invited to?” I don’t know how to answer that.

Halloween falls within many important processes. My oldest is doing college apps. She resembles a fire-breathing, knife-wielding dragon if I’m being honest and that’s when she’s sleeping. Halloween is the night before the first round of apps are due. Today, that is a crisis. “Who picked Halloween to be on such a stupid date?” she demands to know. I start to say, “Well, I think Halloween staked a claim to that date…” I’m cut off with a laser glare. I ask, “Get it? Halloween staked?” She rolls her eyes and walks out.

My son started strength and conditioning for basketball. The rules do not allow the coach to hold tryouts until the end of November, so they hold faux team practices, also known as strength and conditioning. Finally, my middle school daughter is in the middle of tennis team tryouts. Of course, she goes down in PE ‘dodgeball’ and I get the call. Please get her an Xray to ensure her arm is not broken.

Many proud parents just like you appreciate multi-cultural education for your children.  Find this award-winning book series by clicking here.  

My daughter, who swore off ever wearing a costume again, calls me and says, “Okay, I changed my mind. My friends and I are going as social butterflies. I’m twitter. I need blue wings and a blue tutu, and, you can only find them at Walmart.”

I say, “Walmart, on a Friday before a holiday?  No way! And I’ve been at the hospital with your sister for three hours to hear she does not, in fact, have a broken arm!”

Of course an hour later, I’m buying Halloween costumes in Walmart and they have Christmas decorations already.

I say to a random floor associate. “We moms are tired and overworked. We don’t need the holidays all blending together!” The associate just stares at me. I mutter to a fake Santa, “Holidays, just stay in your own lane!”

Then, I buy more candy than we could ever consume, find the blue tutu and wings and fight an ocean of people to pay. The good news is I’ve survived another Halloween and the night of, when the kids dress up exactly as they like and have a great time, I sigh and think, “Halloween is such a fun holiday.”