Even In Death, Man's Gesture to His Wife Shows Us True Meaning of Valentine's Day

It becomes very difficult to feel negatively about Valentine’s Day after hearing this beautiful story. Even in death, a Wyoming man shows the world the true spirit and meaning of the holiday. 

Shelly Golay of Casper, Wyoming was shocked to received a large bouquet of flowers two days before Valentine’s Day this year. She assumed they were from her children, seeing as her husband, Jim Golay, passed away this past July. But then when she saw the note attached to the flowers she became very emotional and contacted the flower shop to tell them there had been a mistake. 

Shelly was stunned when the manager of the flower shop informed her that no mistake had been made, but before his death Jim had arranged for a bouquet of flowers to be delivered to Shelly every year for Valentine’s Day for the rest of her life.

Jim was diagnosed with a brain tumor last winter and tragically passed away in July. His heartwarming and moving gesture demonstrates love in its truest form and what Valentine’s Day is all about.

The note read: “Stay strong! Yours forever, Love Jim”

Click below to hear the full story and watch the emotional clip:

ONCEKids Publishing is run by literacy advocate and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker.  Click here to find her acclaimed books

What Your First Year As a Mother Teaches You

Motherhood continues to be a learning experience even when your child is no longer, well, a child. The surprises it brings are indescribable to someone who has not already been through it. Because of this, it isn’t possible to be entirely prepared to enter the world of motherhood. There are no baby books, classes, or people that can fully brace you for the chaos of parenting…in fact there really isn’t anything other than experience. And even that doesn’t always suffice! So as you can imagine, a mother-to-be with no experience is in for some big surprises, both good and not so good. 

You will learn so much during the first year as a parent, about you, your partner, and your baby. I asked real women the most valuable (and surprising) lessons they learned during their first year as a mother and these were their responses:

1. “It gets easier, then harder, then easier, then harder again.”

2. “Your first meal after giving birth will feel like the most incredible meal of your life- even if it’s just a sub and a diet pepsi.”

3. “It’s okay to leave the baby with the husband for some time alone, even if it’s just a shower!”

4. “You will Google things you never thought you would Google.”

5. “Take lots of pictures and make a photo album.”

6. “You have never known the definition of tired until now.”

7. “Seeing your husband in the role of a father makes you fall in love all over again.”

8. “It’s okay to use paper products instead of dishes because you’re too tired to even load the dishwasher.” 

9. “Take help when it’s offered and don’t feel ashamed about it.”

10. “Never say never.”

11. “You will learn what the true definition of ‘unconditional love’ is.”

12. “You will buy endless amounts of beautiful baby toys and all they want to play with are the remote and your phone.”

13. “Having a baby will test and strengthen you and your partner’s relationship.”

14. “Hangovers suck, hangovers as a mom suck way more.” 

15. “You will learn to be both humble and patient from your baby.”

16. “When you hear a baby crying in public, instead of feeling annoyance, you’ll feel sympathy. Even on an airplane. Actually, ESPECIALLY on an airplane.”

17. “Nothing slows you down like being a mom. Always remember to slow down and enjoy the moments because they won’t be babies forever.”

18. “The dishes can wait. Take a few moments to stop and just play with your child.” 

ONCEKids Publishing is run by literacy advocate and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker.  Click here to find her acclaimed books

New Research Raises Questions as to What Truly Makes Parents Happy

In the past, the major focus of parenting has gone to what makes the child happy and what kind of parenting is best for the them. But the last few years have seen a slight shift in this focus, from solely on the happiness of the children to the happiness of the parents as well. This has brought up a lot of curiosity as to what gives adults’ lives true fulfillment and happiness. 

Previously, it has always been thought that having children is what gives people’s lives fulfillment, but recently that has become a topic of debate. The question has become a heavily researched subject, drawing results that conclude there are only small differences between the reported happiness between parents and non parents. These findings raise another question- does true fulfillment derive more from one’s marriage rather than their role as a parent? 

Attempts to answer this question are being made by researchers around the world. A study conducted by Princeton found that 40% of married couples reported being “very happy” while only 23% of unmarried parents reported those same feelings. This could lead us to consider that it is our marital status rather than how many children we have that affects how we feel about our lives. 

Less debated is the observation that the role fathers and mothers play within the household has begun to shift, resulting in a change in the dynamic between spouses as well. In general, today parents spend on average a lot more time with their children then they ever have before. This change is seen especially with fathers, who spend “triple the amount of time with their children than fathers in 1965”. We should also think about how this shift in parenting has affected our satisfaction in our marriage and overall levels of happiness.  

So what does being a parent mean to you? How does it affect the happiness and fulfillment you feel in your life? And how does being a parent play into your happiness as a husband or wife? 

The Most Heartwarming True Love Stories You'll Ever Hear (Part Two)

Although Valentine’s Day is just one day of the year, we like to think love and marriage is something that should be celebrated every day. The number of inspiring and touching love stories that are out there are endless, and thanks to social media it has become easier for people’s stories to be told. So next time you’re feeling down about relationships, instead of turning on the latest romantic comedy, inspire yourself even more by surfing the internet for romance stories that actually happened. Because these stories are so much better than anything that could be made up. 

Take Lady Van Aefferden and Colonel JWC van Gorkum for example. During a time where a form of segregation referred to as “pillarisation” divided Catholics and Protestants and forced them to live in separate societies, the couple went against what was considered acceptable in society and didn’t let their religious beliefs come between their feelings for one another. Van Gorkum was Protestant and van Aeffereden was Catholic, so their marriage was very controversial. But this didn’t stop them from a wonderful and happy 42 years of marriage. Upon van Gorkum’s death he was to be buried in the cemetery for Protestants, somewhere van Aefferden would never be allowed to be reunited with him. But even in death, van Aeffereden made it clear that she would not be separated from her late husband. So instead of being buried in her family tomb, she opted to be buried in a different section of the cemetery, which allowed for the only separation between her and her husband’s grave to be a brick wall. She then added stone hands holding one another across the brick wall from one tomb to the other tomb, ensuring that they would “embrace for eternity”. Today the famous tombstones are referred to as het graf met de handjies, which translates to “grave with little hands”. 

Liu Guojiang showed his love for his wife by carving 6,000 steps by hand into the mountainside near their small hut, since he was worried that she would get injured on the steep trail. He dedicated 57 years to building and maintaining the steps down the side of the Chongqing mountain.

But that was far from the first time he had done something amazing for his wife, Xu Chaoqing. It started from the first time they met, when Guojiang rescued Chaoqing and her daughter from a rushing river they had tumbled into while washing clothes. The attraction was instant and it wasn’t long after he rescued her that they began dating. The village they lived in did not approve of their Today, they are both buried together in the same mountain side where Guojiang dedicated years of time and energy building those steps for his beloved wife.

ten year age difference, so they retreated to the hut in the mountain where they could live out their marriage in peace.

A Valentine's Day Collection of the Most Heart Warming True Love Stories You'll Ever Hear (Part One)

Since Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, it seems appropriate to celebrate the powerful stories of love and successful marriages that flood our social networks. That is what Valentine’s Day is all about right? So for anyone who has ever said “that stuff only happens in movies”- well these amazing couples would have to disagree!

The first is of Martyn Compton and Michelle Clifford. In 2006 Lance-Corporal Martyn met Michelle, who was a teacher. Their attraction was instant and it did not take them long after meeting to begin dating. Unfortunately, that next summer Martyn was sent to Afghanistan with his military unit. As difficult as it was, Michelle stayed faithful to him while he was gone. 

Only two months after his deployment, Martyn was caught in a surprise attack during a trip through what was thought to be an abandoned village. After a grenade was thrown at their car, he jumped from the vehicle and managed to put out the flames by rolling in the sand. Despite this miraculous escape, Martyn was not left without life-threatening wounds. He had been shot and severely burned, losing his ears, nose and hair. Survival did not look good and he fell into a coma. He remained unconscious for 3 months, and during all this time Michelle did not leave his side.

Even when doctors told her it was not likely he would wake up, or if he did he would never walk again. But she did not lose hope, singing to him, playing his favorite songs, and telling him stories nearly ever single day. Not only did he wake up, but a year later, after Michelle had stood by him through his extremely challenging recovery, he was able to walk again. They were then married and she became pregnant with twins soon after. Overjoyed, it seemed their luck was taking a turn for the better. Tragedy struck again when the twins were born prematurely and neither survived. Through support and unconditional love, the couple was able to survive yet another tragedy and went on to give birth to another child, a healthy baby boy. 

The second inspiring love story also survived through wartime. Joey Guerrero and Delora Denise Leon were both stationed in Iraq when they fell for one another. At first, Delora was not interested, but Joey stayed persistent, claiming he knew someday she would change her mind. What began as a beautiful friendship turned into so much more over the course of the months they spent overseas. But  asked her to marry him. They are now happily married with two children. 

during a sandstorm when Joey was helping her with her bags, they caught indirect fire and Joey protected her. It was during this moment Delora said she knew that she couldn’t let him go. No long later, Joey dropped to his knees in the sand, held out a ring he had specially ordered, and

For more heart warming and inspiring true love stories, keep a look out for our next set of stories in our part two! 

Gain "Best Boyfriend or Husband Ever" Status this Christmas (Part two)

It's never been a secret that shopping for the opposite gender can be difficult at times, especially for those men who may not be experts in the shopping department. But like we discussed in the first part of this two-part series, as long as you go to the mall with some ideas, fresh perspective, and knowledge of her sizes- it's not as bad as it seems (even if the mall is a zoo!). The hardest part of christmas shopping for your significant other isn't just getting organized and getting to the mall, its getting the creative ideas in the first place. 

And that is where we come in! For someone who struggles with coming up with unique and creative ideas or someone who has been buying for the same person for a long time, coming up with an awesome gift can seem like the ultimate challenge. But we have gathered together a list of ideas that will guarantee you'll be giving yourself a pat on the back this Christmas morning. So hands off the lingerie, step away from Victoria's Secret, and listen up!

1. Ipad Mini Retina

The original Ipad Mini was pretty awesome, but now loaded with a jaw-dropping retina display  and high end A7 and M7 processors, the updated one is even cooler. So if you have a tech-lover for a wife or girlfriend, you might want to head over to your local Apple store for this Christmas.

2. Joseph Joseph Mezzaluna 

For anyone hitched to a chef or someone who loves to cook, look no further! This unique knife is definitely the next trendy item to have in the kitchen. The strong, curved blade slices through herbs and vegetables with speed, accuracy, and efficiency and will have them whipping up delicious dishes in no time (so this is a gift you'll love too!). 

3. Pantone Coffee Maker 

Now this is a present I would love to have under my tree! And if the woman in your life loves coffee as much as I do- this would be the perfect gift for her as well. The small coffee maker isn't just stylish, but also comes with a variety of cup-size options, ranging from a three-cup version to a nine-cup version. 

4. Apple iPhone 5S

Not much has to be said about this suggestion! All of the buzz on the Internet and from your friends speaks for itself. Next to the upcoming updated Samsung Galaxy, this is the most talked about phone of 2013. Equip with metallic casings and other ridiculously cool features, the new version of the iPhone 5 is flying of the shelves this Christmas, so if you want one in your wife's stocking this year you'd better get to the nearest Verizon ASAP. 

To learn more about Modern Moms and The Mom Code, please visit ONCEKids Publishing website, Facebook and Twitter

5. Housecleaning services

Wait, a maid for Christmas? This is definitely one of the more unique gift ideas I came across but when I gave it some thought this is actually an excellent idea for a present. If your wife hates cleaning as much as I do, buying her a package for a housecleaning service will allow her to relax and put her feet up on her days off from work instead of catching up on household chores. Who wouldn't want their Christmas present to be to come home to a sparkly clean house every week! 

6. A Bath set

One of many women's favorite ways to unwind is with a nice, hot bath. If the woman in your life likes to have a soak after a stressful day, help her to completely unwind with a fancy bath set- something you can find at countless boutiques, department stores, your mall's Bath and Body Works, and so on. And complete the experience by adding a comfy robe and fuzzy slippers! 

7. Drybar Blowout Box

Treat her hair this Christmas with the ultimate hair-drying experience. The Drybar Blowout in a Box is an ultra-sleek and stylish blow dryer set complete with three different attachments, a brush, and three styling products. 

8. The Misfit Shine

Now this would be something my mom would love! If your wife or girlfriend is crazy about fitness, this gift has to be your next purchase. The Misfit Shine is a small and sleek

fitness tracker, that measures everything from steps taken to calories burned even while you're asleep! The best part? It wirelessly connects to your iPhone or Android, keeping you up to date on your stats at all times! 

While lingerie and jewelry can be nice, give her something different this year that will really surprise her and make it the best Christmas morning possible- for both of you! 

Gain "Best Boyfriend or Husband Ever" Status This Christmas (Part 1 of 2)

This 2-part blog is for the fathers, husbands, and boyfriends out there! It's no secret that shopping for the opposite gender can be a bit on the difficult side sometimes, whether you are new to the game or have been in it for a while. It can feel like the ultimate challenge to try and find a gift that wraps up unique, romantic, functional, thoughtful, and personal all into one without making your wallet cry. 

But through observation, research, and just being- you know- a female, I'm here to rescue all you confused men and tell you how you can be the guy patting himself on the back this Christmas morning.

First off- know her specific sizes/measurements- and if you don't: ask her for them.

If you are planning on purchasing any type of clothes, shoes, intimates, ect then this is crucial! 

A few years ago, I accompanied my father while he went Christmas shopping for my mom. We were in White House Black Market looking at dresses and the sales lady presented my dad with a question most women would find obvious- well, what size is she? My dad hesitated for a moment before looking at the woman and answering with a response most men would deem reasonable; "Umm, probably about your size. You know, similar height and build." 

And my dad is not alone. During my time as a retail sales associate, I had countless interactions with lost husbands wandering the store blindly looking for something that seemed like the right fit for their significant other. And I  would help them as best as I could, but it's tough when they don't have any knowledge or numbers at all. And the guy who would walk in knowing all of his wife's sizes and measurements never failed to impress us sales associates- so be that guy. How can you be that guy? By just asking her! If you don't want to give anything away, ask far in advance and ask for all her measurements- even if you only need to know her dress or bra size- so she can't make any guesses (which she will try to!).

Second, don't be afraid to ask for help.

If at any point you are roaming the store and a sales associate asks you if you need any help, unless you are completely 110% sure of what you are going to get, don't hesitate to take her up on her offer- that is what she is there for! She is familiar with the store's products and can contribute some female perspective. 

Again, when I was a sales associate, I loved interacting with the customers and helping them out, especially when it was a boyfriend or husband trying to pick out something special for their girlfriend or wife. And reaching out for help isn't just limited to sales associates- if you need some fresh opinions or creative ideas there are no better people to ask then her girlfriends, sisters, mother, or even your teenage daughter! 

And lastly, newcomers keep in mind that "stereotypical" gifts aren't always a bad thing, and for returning players- don't be afraid to change it up. 

For any men in a brand new relationship, there is nothing wrong with falling back on some of the classics- jewelry, chocolate, flowers, lingerie, and so on. Just because these ideas have been done many times before doesn't mean there aren't still ways to get creative and it doesn't mean she wouldn't still love them. Switch out the diamond studs for a pair or gold hoops, trade the gold bracelet for a trendy new Alex and Ani bangle, ect. 

And for our men in longterm relationships, try switching it up this year and doing something really different! I know you've been getting her favorite Chanel perfume for the last 10 Christmases and she has come to expect it- but this year how about surprising her with something unexpected! And don't worry about her being disappointed when she doesn't get her usual perfume (just make sure the new gift is better, kidding!...Sort of) because trust me, she will most likely love the change! I know I'm not a husband, but when I was little I knew my mom loved candles, so I bought her a different scented Yankee Christmas candle for about ten years, and that Christmas morning finally came where she opened up something from me other than a candle, disappointment probably wasn't the word that came to her mind! 

Pick out the Christmas gift that will win you Husband of the Year based off of these unique and creative suggestions in the upcoming "How to Gain Best Boyfriend or Husband Ever Status This Christmas" Part Two!

To learn more about Modern Moms and The Mom Code, please visit ONCEKids Publishing website, Facebook and Twitter

7 Strategies for New Empty Nesters (Part 2 of 2)

Some parents struggle with this new stage more than others, but for every parent, having your last child leave home is undoubtably a time of great change and mixed emotions. On one hand you are excited for your child and feel happy for the new stage of life they are entering, but on the other, there is a certain amount of grief that is felt with their growing up and becoming more independent- becoming less dependent on you. 

There are several emotional and psychological changes one can make to try to ease some of the negative feelings associated with becoming an empty nester, such as changing your perspective (instead of thinking you are done parenting remember your role as a parent is simply changing, instead of thinking of this as the end think of it as a beginning, ect), allowing yourself to grieve, and so on- but there are also many activities you can participate in to maximize your happiness during this new chapter and minimize the anxiety and sadness. So we have compiled a list of 7 things you can do to kickstart your new life as an empty nester!

1. Make a list of goals 

They can be goals for this week, this year, or the next ten years, but writing down what types of things you would like to get accomplished in this new stage will help you to feel more excited and less nervous about the changing situation. 

2. Get busy!

Initially you will have more trouble controlling some of the emotional upset and negative thoughts, so it is important to keep yourself busy! Fill up your schedule as much as possible- go to the gym, clean the house, treat yourself to a pedicure, meet up with friends- anything to get your mind off things for a while!

3. Tell them you miss them- but not too much

As hard as it might be, let your kids call you not the other way around. They are going to be really busy getting involved in school and making new friends. But when they do call, don't feel like you can't tell them that you miss them or are thinking about them, this is a scary time with big changes for your child as well, so it will probably comfort them and mean a lot to hear those things from you. But don't tell them too much about how much you miss them because that might make them feel sad or guilty. 

To learn more about Modern Moms and The Mom Code, please visit ONCEKids Publishing website, Facebook and Twitter

4. Focus on your marriage

Once all the kids are out of the house, the dynamics between you and your husband are going to be changing for the first time in almost two decades, so really take this time to enjoy the changing relationship. Go on some special dates, make a bucket list, do something really fun together and just enjoy each other's company. 

5. Focus on your career or a new hobby

If you are a working mom, use this time to really dive into and get ahead in your career. If you were a stay at home mom, use the newfound freedom and less hectic schedule to start to do some things you have wanted to do but haven't had time for. Plant a garden, learn how to be a better cook, learn a new language- the possibilities are endless! This is the first time in your life since having children that you can really truly step back and work on yourself, so enjoy it!

6. Start a new workout routine

Continuing with the theme of working on yourself, this is the perfect time to get into a really good work out routine! Especially if you're having a down day, hitting the gym, getting some blood circulating and some endorphins pumping is almost guaranteed to make you feel better! Eating healthy and exercising aren't only good for your physical health, but excellent for your mental health as well.

7. Schedule a Girls' Night Out- or ten

There is nothing like a night out with the girls to make you feel better when you're down. And now that it is just you and your husband around, you'll have more down time- so call up your girlfriends and plan a night out with plenty of wine! With the hectic schedules and busy-ness of motherhood, it is easy to let weeks or even months slip by without getting together, so really use this time to focus on your friendships and make Girls Night Out a regular part of your new routine. Maybe even try to cultivate some new friendships or get together with a few acquaintances, you never know who you can have certain things in common with that can turn into a great friendship. 

Comment below and tell us what strategies you used to cope with becoming an empty nester! 

Has your family received a Nook, Kindle or iPad this year?  Find Fujimini Adventure Series award-winning books here.  Great family-friendly gifts.