Weekly Lunchbox #2

By: Kate Camillo

Hi guys! I am back with another lunchbox! I love this series because it really has a lot of information in each post and you can always go back and look at old posts for inspiration. Let’s dive right in!

MONDAY:
I have two words for you: string. cheese. This snack is an all around crowd pleaser. String cheese is a great quick, no effort snack for a Monday. It’s easy, it's cheap and honestly it's delicious. Who doesn’t want to pull their cheese into strings?

TUESDAY:
A lettuce wrap is a great snack! Put some of your kids favorite stuff in there like turkey and cheese, and you’re good to go. Maybe put some chicken, barbeque sauce and cheese on it. There are so many options, you can make them entirely your own. This is a good snack that you can reuse this snack idea by adding other things in them to spice it up!


WEDNESDAY:
A fun treat for Wednesday is something as simple as cereal. However, seeing cereal in a different setting will make your child view it differently. Maybe you give them Lucky Charms or Reese’s Puffs, something they normally wouldn’t eat for breakfast. It’s fast and easy and is fun! Kids get to eat sugary cereals they love and you get a happy child. No need for milk either! Just a little baggy of the most fun cereal you can find.

Courtesy: CafeDelites.com

THURSDAY:
On Thursday, maybe give your kids something a little more healthy. Fruit salad is a great option. You can choose what you want to put it in it, ensuring your child’s satisfaction. It’s colorful and brings some life into their lunchbox. This is a great way to get your kids to eat some fruit.


FRIDAY:
I personally like to end the week on a good note. Give your kids something fun, something they really like. Last week, I said brownies. This week I think dirt pudding would be a great snack. Some people have different names for this snack, but basically it is chocolate pudding or chocolate mousse with crushed oreos on top and gummy bears. The crushed oreos could be substituted with mini chocolate chips or anything that resembles “dirt” crumbles. It gets its name because it looks like dirt, especially with the “worms” on the top. This is so cute! This is a personal favorite of mine. 

That’s all I have for this week guys! I hope this inspired you to be a little creative with your snacks and also find a nice balance with what you’re feeding your kids. Come back next week for more!

ONCEKids Back to School Checklist (Part 4 of 4)

By: Kate Camillo

Welcome back! We’re wrapping up our back to school checklist. As the summer is winding down, it is important to refocus on the school year. It is time to switch gears from bathing suits to backpacks, from cookouts to pb&j sandwiches, from late nights to early mornings. We’ve been over the basics and I encourage you go read the other parts before catching up on this one to get the vibe we are going for with this series. This is not your average checklist; no pencils and 36 pack of crayons involved. This is about making sure you are doing the right things at home to prepare your child for school and help them, with more than just their homework, once school picks up.

via GIPHY

It’s a new school year, your child is going to be around different kids and it is important to remind them how to make friends. You should help them practice how to introduce themselves and what to say to other children. Having common interests is the main bond children have; such as their favorite game, their favorite show, and their favorite book. This can help them find friends to sit with at lunch. These friends can come over to play games, and hang out. Who knows when your child will meet their best friend, I met mine when I was five, it is important to help them break the ice.

Another thing to help them break the ice would be to do some practice runs before school starts. See if your child’s school has a Meet the Teacher event they can go to. Especially if it is a new school, show your child where to line up at the start of the day and where the bus will pick them up. It’s important to make sure your child is comfortable in their environment. All of these things are to ensure a smooth transition in a stressful time.

Last but certainly not least, lets talk about those real back to school checklists. If your child’s teacher provides a school supply list, follow it! Grab your kid and make a day of it. This will help them get excited for school. Have them pick out notebooks with their favorite characters on it and a backpack that they’ll want to carry. When going back to school shopping for clothes, let them pick out some cool pieces that are going to make them want to get ready. The last thing your kid wants is for you to come home with a bag of stuff they don’t necessarily like. Always have them pick out clothes the night before so there are no battles in the morning.

My last tip hits close to home. If you have a shy child, go out of your way to write notes and leave pictures in their lunchbox. TRUST ME! This will go a long way. As someone who did not take to anyone other than her parents until she was like 7, please understand that back to school is a very hard time for us. A note in their lunchbox or a picture of you guys will help them get through the day.

That’s it folks for this back to school checklist series. Don’t worry, we got another one coming. Come back next week to learn some great tips and tricks on how to fill your child’s lunchbox!

Our final checklist:

• Provide your kids downtime
• Encourage new forms of reading
• Get their creative juices flowing with imagining stories
• Ease them into structure
• Spend time together
• Help them make friends
• Practice runs at school
• Make back to school shopping fun
• Lay out outfits every night before school
• Send notes and pictures into your child’s lunchbox

17 days until September 1st!!! See you next week!

ONCEKids Back to School Checklist (Part 3 of 4)

By: Kate Camillo

Hi guys. Welcome back. As you can see this is the third part of a series, check out the previous blog posts to get caught up to what we’re going to talk about today. We are all sick and tired of seeing the same blogs and posts about pencils and glue sticks and folders. While those are important, we’re here to discuss more unconventional things that need to be addressed in time for back to school.

via GIPHY

Back to school is a busy time for all, kids have to be put back on a schedule that they were not used to during the summer. It is best to ease your child in because the last thing you want is a tantrum the first day of school because they are tired and don’t want to get ready for school. Start by waking them up a little bit earlier than they normally would. If your child is a natural early riser (which if you are that lucky, I’m jealous), then you have nothing to worry about. I’m not saying wake them up at 6 am, but maybe 9 instead of 10, the act of being woken up is going to prepare them for school. Along with wake ups in the weeks leading up to school, it is good to have your child get ready, such as getting dressed and eating after the wake up so they are used to having to do something in the morning. This is very different from them waking up whenever they please and wearing pajamas all day. Lastly, you should set time aside where they have something they have to do, to mimic a school day. Maybe have them read for half an hour, or sit and focus on something like the Fujimini game. You don’t have to play teacher and whip out a lesson plan, but an hour of having something they have to do will prepare your children for the inevitable, school. Of course these things are in no means necessary, nor do you have to do them everyday, but this could help with potential argument that occurs the morning of the first day of school.

Once school starts it is going to be hard to focus on anything else. You’ll ask them how their day was and help them with their homework and learn how to do whatever math teachers are teaching these days. It can be hard to connect with your child outside of this. Next on our list is making time to spend with your child that can help your relationship and help them detach from school. You can read together, play the Fujimini game together, check a weekly blog such as the Fujimini one, or anything else you can think of. It is important to make time to hang out with your kid. Don’t get so caught up in back to school that you forget the relationship you had in the summer, the fun one where you played games and went to the park.

Fujimini Island is a community that can help you do this, we have a game, a blog, an instagram, a website, coloring pages and so much more. We see the value of parents being with their kids and are here to help. (Another shameless promo, I’m sorry, but not really because it’s my job). Promo or not, that statement still holds true, we are here to help bond together mother (or father) and kids.

Checklist so far:

• Provide your kids downtime
• Encourage new forms of reading
• Get their creative juices flowing with imagining stories
• Ease them into structure
• Spend time together

Countdown until September 1st: 25 days!! It’s getting so close! I can almost smell the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!!!

Find ONCEKids Publishing on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram here.

I hope you’re enjoying the last couple weeks of summer and we’ll see you next week!

The Mom’s Code – Judging Moms: Don't Judge My Kids (Part Five of Five)

Written by Eileen Wacker

Judging me is one thing. Judging my kids is a weapon that should never be used. There should be a warning alarm, a fire alarm that goes off and someone sky writes ‘don’t go there! It will end badly!’ Every child has his/her moments—some are brag-worthy but more are awful, messy and stressful. I always hope my kids’ worst moments happen in the confines of our home. But when my child has an extremely unattractive moment, a look from a thin-lipped mom takes the situation from bad to ‘I want to cry in frustration!’

Moms Code Tenet 1: Stop the Mama Drama

When I’m struggling with an uncooperative child, I appreciate an offer to help or the person pretending she doesn’t notice the meltdown. So, I try to do the same when I see a child in meltdown mode. I don’t raise my eyebrows at a distressed mom or talk about it to other moms, pointing at her. I don’t judge her kid based on that moment. We all have unlimited love for our children, and they all crumple like broken accordions in times of high stress or pressure. That’s why happy hour, or wine o’clock as my friend Michael calls it, was invented and will perpetuate as long as motherhood exists.

A few of my friends contributed some of their ‘judgiest’ stories--

Misty, mind your own business

I went to watch my second grade daughter in a school play. She didn’t have a very big part and didn’t behave very well on stage. I watched intently, trying not to display any of the dismay I felt. Another mother leaned in and said to me, ‘you should have her tested. With meds, she could focus and not fidget so much’. I was so surprised that I didn’t answer. But as the play wore on and afterwards, I felt more and more angry. She’s not a doctor and her feigned concern was intrusive. Who is she to judge after a 45-minute play that my daughter has ADHD and should be medicated?

Audrey, raising a tough one

As a baby, my daughter never woke from a nap without screaming to be pulled out of the crib immediately. In kindergarten, when she was good she was so good, and when she was bad, she was horrid.  She was tough. She was a leader. She was creative at planning what everyone should do next - but became quite bored when things were not done her way. To be honest, she was not always the nicest or most considerate - but nobody walked on her. In third grade, other moms labeled her ‘queen bee’. She would go from being very popular to being “persona non gratis”. It was tough to watch. It was even tougher because many of the swings in opinion were propelled by the moms. Of course, our kids are a direct reflection on us. When she wasn’t nice - it was as if I wasn’t being nice and they talked about me behind my back. I said to her- “who are the girls that are never out?’ “Who are the girls that everyone always likes - and never turn on? Watch how they act with others -and try to treat others like they do.” She learned to observe her own and other’s behaviors. By the time she entered high school, she had gotten much better at being a leader in a humble way. She became the Editor and Chief of her High School newspaper and the Captain of the High School Tennis team. And, the best part is - all those moms that were tongue wagging now ask if one day - when she has a big job - can hire their kids!? Lesson – hang in there!

There are moms out there who don’t discipline or even watch their kids. They even pretend they are not with them. These moms don’t get a pass from anyone judging them. They make it worse for us moms who try to get our kids to behave! Stay clicked in moms!



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Official judging – the preschool interview

Getting a child into pre-school, kindergarten and elementary school keeps moms around the world up at night. Any child can have a good day or bad, but so much rests on one isolated hour. Will he play well with others? Will she look the interviewer in the eye? Will he sit and focus on an exercise? Did she come off as happy and a ‘do-er’? Did I get the right recommendations? Moms kill themselves to get their child in the right frame of mind, bribing, cajoling, but in the end, it’s out of our control.

The only acceptable answer from Admissions to any mom is that her child is ACCEPTED. For me, with my first child, there was an audible exhale, high five and celebration. Thank goodness her life is on track! But another scenario unfolded for my second child, the one who had a hint of bad boy, even at age five. Mr. Mailperson only had a little envelope for me as I waited at the end of the driveway, trying to appear carefree and unaffected. My hand shook as I opened the small envelope bearing the school crest. With flowery language, my child was rejected! He’s judged as not measuring up, and that means I don’t measure up. I tried to hide my feeling of, ‘this feels like the end of the world’. My husband thankfully shared my disappointment and didn’t say I was making a big deal over something that won’t matter in the long run. This was a serious blow to my mommy manifesto.

Moms Code Tenet 8: Save your children when you have to

Since so many parents face this scenario, they figure out what the measures are and then how to meet or beat them. The tutoring centers find out what’s in the admissions interviews and they coach the children. Then the Admissions office changes things up so little robots don’t walk in the door. It’s become a game, and collectively, we are not winning.

It’s another intensified issue. I don’t remember the stakes being this high when I was a kid. My parents bought a house in a neighborhood with a decent school district and we went to school, starting with kindergarten. Children weren’t judged so early on. Starting kindergarten wasn’t a high stress-associated event.

Elena, I wish I didn’t care as much as I do

I went to a Girls Night Out right after hearing my son was not accepted to the private school we had hoped for. The other moms have kids around my child’s age. One mom, who I thought of as my friend, was going on and on about how her child had been accepted into all three schools. Another mom said, ‘he just has that ‘it’ factor and the mom agreed. I asked what she attributed her son’s success to and she answered seriously, ‘parenting of course’. I was so upset I had to leave the table. I collected myself and went back to the table. Another mom said to me, ‘you know, this school is not for every child’. I couldn’t accept this statement as all their kids got in. I could have accepted it from a mom whose child had not got in. Thank goodness another mom was driving me home because I pounded down glasses of wine until I was numb.

I have advice for a mom offering her friend advice when her child gets cut from a sport or denied admission to a school. Don’t say, ‘it’s probably for the best’ if your own kid got in. When my kids are cut or rejected, I’m bleeding for my child and wish I could change the outcome. I need a friend to offer comfort. Then help me strategize what I’m going to do next, because it’s all I’m thinking about.

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With four kids, we’ve survived many cuts from things like sports teams, school admissions and play tryouts. Trial and error builds character and teaches resiliency. I want my kids to try for things and when they don’t make it, put themselves out there again. But the actual moments of rejection really suck. Especially when my daughter’s face is twisted in fear as she listens in on my end of the conversation that she didn’t make the team or get invited to honors math.

I am the only mom my kids know. Even if I make a decision that I would take back, miss something important, or have a lapse in mom judgment, my kids don’t know it. Because what they live every day is normal to them. As the only mom they know, my kids don’t think about changing me out. 

So let’s be more like our kids and not notice all and point out a mom’s moment of weakness or embarrassment! Let’s bring the judging down a notch!

First Week of School

Guest Blogger 

By Kenna McHugh

For the past week or so, I have been doing everything in my power to have a smooth transition from ending summer vacation as my kids start the new school year. All of it is challenging, but getting through this first week feels like an enormous achievement, and I give myself a jumping high-five.

We’ve made it through those endless shopping trips to purchase school supplies, “What we have to go to back to Target, again!”

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Let’s face it, the first week of school is stressful for both me and my kids. There are totally different schedules and schools to keep track of. There’s paperwork, permission ships, and syllabuses to read and sign. I am one of those parents who actually reads everything before I sign it. “What does this mean…’the Science teacher may request your child to remove his or her contact lens’?”  “I don’t know. I am not removing my contacts for anybody,” answers my sixteen-year-old daughter.  “Why do I read this stuff?” I ask myself.

So, the ritual begins where I need to make sound judgments and not rash decisions about what the teachers and the schools are or are not doing. Clearly, my daughter doesn’t want me to be a Mama Drama. She jumps to her feet, “Oh please, no emails. Don’t worry about it mom. I am sure it is just a safety precaution.”

“Mom is sending emails already?” asks my son.

“No, I am not sending any emails, yet. I am just trying to understand these syllabuses. They get more and more complicated each year.”

Proud parents just like you appreciate multi-cultural education for your children.  The Moms Code author Eileen Wacker has also written a children's book series.

Now, my son is bringing home syllabuses from his P.E. and Art teachers. He is only in fifth grade. I have so many things to keep track of like donations for art supplies and volunteer hours at P.E. testing. Not to mention each school has different holidays and bell schedules. Then, there is the idea that other moms somewhere and somehow are managing all this quite well.

So this year I am taking a different approach. I am throwing in the towel. I am stepping back a bit and trusting the schools, teachers, and my kids more, and so far, it is working.

Just a week, but this time I will do my best not to make waves or butt heads with their guidelines and teaching methods.  Still, I will keep my ear to those classes I have concerns about, like the English teacher who spews psycho-mumbo-jumbo as a learning method and has a neurotic daughter, who is 18 and is still a sophomore in high school.

I am not emailing. I am letting my daughter deal with it. “Don’t send an email mom. I want to stay on good terms with her, so if I ever need it, she’ll bump up my grade.”

I need to stop harping on myself and being overly concerned about my children’s education. They are both bright, well-mannered kids with high GPAs.  I need to concentrate on the good work they are doing because the results are two very awesome kids who are learning to be more independent each year as they grow into responsible adults.

Mom's Code Chronicle #6 Survival Tips for this time of Year

Written by Eileen Wacker

Every year at this point in time, I’m just trying to survive the end of the school year. Intellectually, I know the big bang of stress and crushing amount of must do’s are coming, but I still get caught unaware. My four kids are exhausted so I’m dragging everyone to the finish line. There are field days, class parties, end of year tests and projects, sports celebrations and more. I’m holding out hope for a strong finish, even as mounting evidence indicates that they are melting down.

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Part of my survival strategy is kicking some cans down the road. What gets pushed out is my fabulous get ready for summer diet and cute dresses to go with it, working out, organizing the house, me time, catching up on work. I work from home for flexibility but there is no barrier and all the chaos leaks in continuously. Bottom line, all my stuff gets pushed because I can’t push off getting all the items on the packing list for the sports broadcasting program, the tennis camp, the basketball and acting camp. The average number of items on each packing list is 42. It’s not drop off sun screen with a water bottle; it’s sheets, towels, footwear, shirts, shorts, swimsuits, hats, medical forms, risk clearance and countless other items.

I recognize and accept to some degree that summertime has now become about being strategic. It’s not all ice cream and bicycle rides; they have to get scheduled in. There is no way around it. Tutors for standardized tests, relatives fighting for the little precious time, summer school, sports and acting camps, and volunteer projects for each child to the degree possible. This year we have an 80^th birthday party, a high school graduation, a college graduation, a cousin’s wedding, a one-year old that we have not met. Every relative from both sides of the family lobbies for us to come. We try but it’s never enough and I have to avoid feeling guilty that someone feels short changed and someone always does.

So how do I survive?

1   1)   My family is almost too tired to celebrate, but I insist we do. Because we have to. We are running so fast that we have to stop and reflect, even for a moment and recognize the accomplishment. So I’ll go to my little girl’s favorite restaurant and let her order the cheese fries and mac and cheese, even as my bathing suit self protests.
 
      The Moms Code author Eileen Wacker also writes the acclaimed childrens books The Fujimini Adventure Series.  Many proud parents just like you appreciate multi-cultural education for your children.  Find the book series by clicking here. 

2   2)   I make an agreement with my kids that I will try to say yes as much as I can but each one of them has to be nice and appreciative. No fighting and complaining. I tell them, “You want the one off ride to the beach, movie, friend’s house, pool, mall or wherever, make it charming for me in the car.”

    3)   I pull out little happiness tricks. For example, I’ll wake my little girl up with a Starbucks run or put a $10 itunes card on my son’s pillow. Whatever small item I can think of. I do this for teachers and coaches so I do it for my children as well.

4

 4)   I find a small window to see my girl group and also the female relatives I’m close to over the summer. Engaging in meaningful discussions that have nothing to do with the advancement of any one or anything is cleansing and feels like a cold glass of wine on a summer’s night. We all understand that we are venting and would not change out our reality for anything. Our souls know each other and it’s wonderful to reconnect.

5   5)   I vow to stay nice to my husband who is honestly a good guy, when he says, “How long are you gone? What about the dogs? Everyone is abandoning me to have a fun summer while I work like a mule. I can’t take care of dogs.” I just smile, make some arrangements, and continue to text him heart emojis while I’m gone.

Congratulations to all the moms who are surviving yet another year end and into the summer cycle.

Mom’s Code Chronicle #4 Save her When She’s Drowning Part 2 of 2

This is part 2 of Mom’s Code Chronicle #4 Save her When She’s Drowning

To read part 1 of Mom’s Code Chronicle #4 Save her When She’s Drowning, click here.

I hate it when my kids are sick. My worry sometimes spirals into irrational thoughts and everyone ends up micromanaged.

I get home. My little girl immediately begins to complain about the hand raiser in her class. No one else gets the chance to show what they know. The teacher always calls on the same kids. I tell her that she’s a great student and she shouldn’t worry about the hand raisers. I’m secretly stewing about it though. Why do the hand raisers get to dominate the classes?

Many proud parents just like you appreciate multi-cultural education for your children.  Written by the same author as The Moms Code, find the childrens book series by clicking here.

I have not even made it out of the entryway when my son tells me someone stole his basketball sneakers or maybe he left them somewhere. He has only been to three places today but somehow he managed to lose his basketball sneakers. He already outgrows them every six months, now he’s losing them? He informs me, “Good news mom. I practiced in my socks and only slipped four times.” His socks are blackened and shredded and he has a rug burn type of mark on his elbow.

I look down at my bitten nails. I keep cheerfulness in my tone. Thank goodness my kids are not observant unless it concerns their electronics, friends or clothes budget. Otherwise they would notice the slight eye tic. My friend calls. She is between projects and having a tough day. She says, “Let’s meet and catch up with a glass of wine.” I’m drowning but agree. She texts, “I look like a wreck.” I text, “I won’t wear make-up so you’ll recognize me.” She texts, “I can’t wash and blow dry my hair or my kids get suspicious I’m going somewhere and bar me from leaving.” I text, “Okay, we are mom ninjas in disguise so we can carve out some free time.”

We meet at a little wine bar. About fifteen thousand words pour out of us. We’re venting about all of the injustices, challenges and trials we’ve faced, and for the most part, mastered. Her kind eyes look into my warrior mom soul and pull out the words and insights. I admit, “I hate the hand raisers that always get called on and star in every school event!” She says, “I hate the moms who prepare perfectly perfect homemade snacks and then my store-bought cookies get put on a back table of shame. I work and don’t have time to bake things from scratch.” I say, “The only time I liked Martha Stewart was when she was in jail.” Then, like every other time, we start laughing and can’t stop. There it is— the release. It’s a reset button.

Then we look at our phones filled with texts from our children, asking when we will be home. No one else can handle the bedtime routine like the mom. I go home and my kids are waiting. All day, they were at school and not missing me one bit, but they always feel better when I’m in the house. I guess it’s ‘just in case’.

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I really value how moms can save each other when we are drowning. It comes in so many forms. Today it was picking up my children and an evening cocktail to share stories of today’s challenges. Then I went home to be the best ‘just in case’ mom to my kids.