Thanksgiving Lesson: Can’t Judge a Person by Their Neighborhood

Written By

Kenna McHugh

“The love of family and the admiration of friends is much more important than wealth and privilege.” Charles Kuralt

When I was nine years old, my Girl Scout troop organized a Thanksgiving project sharing home cooked meals from four different nationalities. The project not only taught me about ethnic foods but it taught me you can’t always judge a person by their neighborhood.

Many proud parents just like you appreciate multi-cultural education for your children.  Find this award-winning book series by clicking here. 

We had Japanese, Chinese, Russian, and Mexican families who agreed to share their traditional meals. The troop leader organized a chart, so everyone knew where to go on which night during the month of November.

Teresa’s family was sponsoring the Mexican dinner. They lived in a neighborhood with low rise houses, the driveways overflowing with rusting pickup trucks and low riding cars. Truthfully, I was afraid to go to her home. I thought, her family and neighborhood were too dangerous.

The irony of my fear came from a project my mother arranged with my brother’s scout troop. She drove the scouts and me through the same neighborhood where Teresa lived. 

I sat in the front seat and looked out the passenger window as my mother slowly drove past abandon buildings with broken glass and crude graffiti “Kill Whites”, “Cop Killers” and “Bring destruction on your head!” There were other dirty words and swear words. Piles of litter sat against the buildings.

My mother said nothing and just drove. We viewed dilapidated houses, homeless people with shopping carts, adults passed out on benches and women in scanty outfits. I was terrified because I had never seen a poverty-stricken neighborhood.

When I found out Teresa was from the same neighborhood, I was afraid of her. I stayed away from her during the Girl Scout meetings.

Knowing I was to have Mexican food with her family petrified me. I worried for two weeks. I couldn’t beg out of it either because it was part of our troop’s badge project.

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Two hours before I was to arrive at Teresa’s home for the Mexican dinner, I had a meltdown and called her. I told her I was sick and couldn’t make it.  My mom came home. “I am not going,” I cried.  My mom asked what was wrong, I told her my dilemma. “My life is in danger! They might poison me!”

My mom looked pensive and explained that even though Teresa lived in that poor neighborhood her family and home were safe. “Not all the streets and homes are like the ones we saw.”

Teresa’s family lived in a small, old house on a beautiful street with lots of trees. Their home was clean and comfortable. Teresa greeted me, and I apologized. She smiled and said she understood. She and her family were nice and friendly, and the meal was delicious. Not a Thanksgiving goes by where I don’t remember having that meal with Teresa’s family and what I learned. Don’t judge a person by their neighborhood. Feel thankful for friends; feel grateful for experiences; feel grateful for family.

Halloween Celebration: Alla Greens and Pirate Costumes

Written by Kenna McHugh

“'Tis now the very witching time of night,

When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out

Contagion to this world.” - William Shakespeare

Six years ago, my daughter, who just turned eleven, and my son were discussing Halloween.  He was excited, almost ecstatic about his costume and trick or treating. My daughter, a former Bumble Bee, Princess and Katniss, said she was not sure she wanted to go trick or treating with the family. I was worried about how our Halloween evening would turn out.

Many proud parents just like you appreciate multi-cultural education for your children.  Find this award-winning book series by clicking here. 

I was in the school pickup line, when my son bounded over to my SUV wearing only a t-shirt, underwear, and pirate socks. Shaken a bit and looking around for his teacher, I asked, “Where is the rest of your costume?”

“Now, mom…I didn’t mean to scare you.”

I couldn’t pull over, park, and question his teacher because cars in the pickup line are not supposed to stop, ever. So I kept going. I looked for his teacher or some adult supervisor, but did not see any person ‘in charge’. I asked him, “What did the teacher say when you took off your costume?”

“Oh mom, Ronnie had bad at our Halloween party. All these kids were eating cupcakes, and drinking soda, and he couldn’t. Because of his alla,..all greens.”

“Allergies?”

In my peripheral, I could see his head nod. Then his face grimaced. “Mom. I felt bad for him. So, I gave him my pirate hook. He was happy. Then, I gave him my eye patch, my hat, and my shirt. He kept smiling and thanking me, mom.”

Trying to keep my eyes the road and my voice calm, I asked another question “What did the teacher do?”

“She smiled and said that was very sweet.”

“And, the pants?”

He explained, “Ronnie has alla greens, mom. He can’t eat lots of different fun stuff, even sprinkles,” his brows pulled together. “He liked my butt pocket and asked if he could have it. I said yes.”

“Allergies. It’s nice to help your friend. Allergies are tough on kids. I understand. But, your pants?”

“All of us are just characters. Characters.” He said as if this explained everything.

“So, your class had a fun Halloween party?”  I asked.

Learn more about The Moms Code and the tenets of being a happy Mom.

He nodded and smiled. Really proud of himself. I pulled the SUV into the driveway, and we got out as my eleven-year-old daughter came up. She looked at her brother, “So, dude, where’s your pirate costume?”

He answered her, “Ronnie’s wearing it. He has alla greens.”

She said, “That’s tough on Halloween. My friend, Sally, has allergies, too. Nice dude.”

He smiled like a big man. She asked, “What are you going to wear for trick or treating?” 

He looked worried.

She said, “No worries, gotcha back. Come on, I have an idea.”

I chuckled to myself, “My kids are growing up, and Halloween will be fine tonight.” I had nothing to worry about, and I just let my kids be who they are, magnificent.

First Week of School

Guest Blogger 

By Kenna McHugh

For the past week or so, I have been doing everything in my power to have a smooth transition from ending summer vacation as my kids start the new school year. All of it is challenging, but getting through this first week feels like an enormous achievement, and I give myself a jumping high-five.

We’ve made it through those endless shopping trips to purchase school supplies, “What we have to go to back to Target, again!”

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Let’s face it, the first week of school is stressful for both me and my kids. There are totally different schedules and schools to keep track of. There’s paperwork, permission ships, and syllabuses to read and sign. I am one of those parents who actually reads everything before I sign it. “What does this mean…’the Science teacher may request your child to remove his or her contact lens’?”  “I don’t know. I am not removing my contacts for anybody,” answers my sixteen-year-old daughter.  “Why do I read this stuff?” I ask myself.

So, the ritual begins where I need to make sound judgments and not rash decisions about what the teachers and the schools are or are not doing. Clearly, my daughter doesn’t want me to be a Mama Drama. She jumps to her feet, “Oh please, no emails. Don’t worry about it mom. I am sure it is just a safety precaution.”

“Mom is sending emails already?” asks my son.

“No, I am not sending any emails, yet. I am just trying to understand these syllabuses. They get more and more complicated each year.”

Proud parents just like you appreciate multi-cultural education for your children.  The Moms Code author Eileen Wacker has also written a children's book series.

Now, my son is bringing home syllabuses from his P.E. and Art teachers. He is only in fifth grade. I have so many things to keep track of like donations for art supplies and volunteer hours at P.E. testing. Not to mention each school has different holidays and bell schedules. Then, there is the idea that other moms somewhere and somehow are managing all this quite well.

So this year I am taking a different approach. I am throwing in the towel. I am stepping back a bit and trusting the schools, teachers, and my kids more, and so far, it is working.

Just a week, but this time I will do my best not to make waves or butt heads with their guidelines and teaching methods.  Still, I will keep my ear to those classes I have concerns about, like the English teacher who spews psycho-mumbo-jumbo as a learning method and has a neurotic daughter, who is 18 and is still a sophomore in high school.

I am not emailing. I am letting my daughter deal with it. “Don’t send an email mom. I want to stay on good terms with her, so if I ever need it, she’ll bump up my grade.”

I need to stop harping on myself and being overly concerned about my children’s education. They are both bright, well-mannered kids with high GPAs.  I need to concentrate on the good work they are doing because the results are two very awesome kids who are learning to be more independent each year as they grow into responsible adults.

First Day of School Jitters

Guest Blogger 

By Kenna McHugh

"I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework." 

- Lily Tomlin as "Edith Ann"

So, I have the jitters knowing that the first day of school is just a few weeks away. My eldest is going to be a junior in high school, and my son will be in fourth grade with even more homework compared to his earlier years. I am under pressure to tow the line.

School and parenting for a junior in high school will be a roller coaster ride that I’ll never get off. My daughter and I are heading toward a more hectic, fragmented, and demanding life than ever before.  Her college search process begins for real, as does the pressure of getting good grades, trying to champion SAT tests, and disentangle herself from the masses of other qualified high school students trying to get into the same colleges and universities. It’s not just the academic pressure, she’ll have dance rehearsals every day after school, and swim team practice with an in between dash home for dinner and hours of homework.


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We will no longer have the carefree mornings of summer. Instead, my kids will wake up tired and anxious by the haste of getting out of bed, fed, prepared, and off to carpool in time for class. Even though the school year hasn’t started yet, I ache for July mornings when all I do is worry about getting myself out of bed, fed, dressed, and to work. The joy of simply sipping my coffee as I organize my day in our quiet house while my kids slumber until mid-morning. 

No more leisurely evenings. Instead, I will be grabbing a quick bite between picking kids up from baseball practice and dance rehearsals, flipping flash cards for test questions, or proofreading essays and school papers. If I am not driving or helping my son with his common core math, I won’t be the good cop in the neighborhood, patrolling screen time so my kids are doing their homework not texting or showing photos on Snapchat.

I am trying to be optimistic, but it isn’t easy with the overall importance of grades, baseball tryouts, and making dance production. The strained nerves of my daughter being consumed by the social pressures of school. Not to mention my youngest announcing at ten o’clock at night he has a science project due the next morning and needs my help.


The Moms Code author Eileen Wacker also writes the acclaimed childrens books The Fujimini Adventure Series.  Many proud parents just like you appreciate multi-cultural education for your children.  Find the book series by clicking here.

What can I do to be optimistic about this coming school year?  I know my kids come first, and then it is my time. With the 5 – 6 hours during the day that I have to myself and work, I am going to take an hour and do something for me - like exercise.  Exercise is a great stress reliever.

When my kids stress out and can’t sleep at night. I will give them B-1 and B-5, both are great for handling stress, turning the mental thoughts off, and helping the body sleep.

And, I will look back when they are all grown up, and yearn for the first day of school because there are pleasurable moments in school, and my kids won’t be home anymore. The house will feel empty.