Weekly Lunchbox #4

By: Kate Camillo

First month of school is almost over! Is everyone settled in? I know little ones usually start a little bit later than normal, at least that’s how it is where I am from. Are our routines working? Are we finding time to relax and bond with our kids in between school and work? Some things to ask ourselves because any habit we’ve picked up this month is most likely going to become routine after this month! I hope everyone’s enjoying these snack plans whether you stick to them completely, or just get inspiration from them. It’s been fun for me to find new snacks and revisit some old favorites. Let’s get down to business!

 Monday:
I’m feeling something fun for Monday, but also something healthy. We’re gonna go with strawberry ladybugs. I know what you’re thinking. What the heck are strawberry ladybugs? Don’t worry, I got you. The ingredients are pretty simple; strawberries, blueberries, and dark chocolate. You’ll also need a candy decorating bag for this one. First step is removing the top of the strawberries by cutting a small V in the top, which is where our ladybug “heads” are going to go. Then you’re going to cut the strawberries in half, lengthwise. The next step entails melting the chocolate and putting small dots on the strawberries. You also want to use the chocolate to attach the “heads”. Put some chocolate on the top of the strawberry and stick a blueberry on there. Draw a line down the center of the strawberry and Let the chocolate harden and you have a cute ladybug! 

Tuesday:
For Tuesday, I want to give you guys another fruity snack. This one is cute too, just like those little ladybugs. I think apple cookies are a good idea for Tuesday or any day this week honestly. I’m sure what I’m referring to is not what first popped into your head when you read apple cookies. Don’t worry I’m not going to have you bake cookies from scratch on a Monday night to get them prepared for Tuesday. The prep time for this snack is super short. All you’re going to do is cut and apple the long way, not into wedges, and throw some peanut butter and chocolate chips on them. That’s it. Simple and easy. They look cute and they taste great. Your child doesn’t like peanut butter? Drizzle some caramel or chocolate on there and it’s just as good. 

Wednesday:
Let’s keep Wednesday pretty simple. Make your own chex mix anyone? Throw a handful of all your kids favorites in a bag and call it a day. Pretzels, Goldfish, cheez-its, mini cookies, really anything you have you can mix in a bag. The prep time for this is so small and it’s super easy.

 Thursday:
This one requires a little bit of baking, but multipurpose baking. This snack could be eaten for breakfast, for a snack at school, a snack at home, dessert, the opportunities are endless. I’m talking about mini muffins. Mini muffins are great; chocolate chip, blueberry, banana nut, you can make whatever your little heart desires. A batch will last you a couple days and you have breakfast and snack covered. It’s perfect!

 Friday:
This snack is a little more average, but you can spice it up. I know I’ve mentioned it once before, but there are so many ways to make it different. I am a firm believer in pretzels. Mini pretzels; awesome. Soft pretzels; awesome. Pretzels dipped in something; awesome. Pretzel nuggets; awesome. I personally think pretzels dipped in something is fun spin on this common snack. Pack your child some mini pretzel sticks and a fun dipping option. Melted chocolate is a great option, frosting, caramel, really anything goes well with pretzels.

So that’s my lunchbox plan this week, trust me this is an absolute lifesaver. It is so nice having all my days planned. I know what I need to buy, I am prepared for what I need to make and how long it is going to take me to pack lunches the night before. I save the things that take a little bit longer for the nights I have more time. It’s great. Planning snacks help me reduce a little bit of the week’s stress and I am all about that. Come back next week for another plan! Let me know if you have any suggestions for upcoming weeks, let’s all work together moms to battle snack time!

Weekly Lunchbox #3

By: Kate Camillo

Welcome back, so sorry for the delay, it has been crazy with back to school. I’m sure you can all relate! Whether it’s homework or packing bags, getting to sleep early or waking up on time, this year has been a little rough to get used to. If you’re on the same page as I am, I’m sure you can use something to help ease some of the stress with back to school and luckily for you we have another weekly lunchbox for you to help plan some snacks.

MONDAY:
This Monday we’re going with a classic: cheese and crackers! Get some precut cheese, which honestly might be the literal best invention since sliced bread. No more uneven cheese slices where they start skinny and then get fatter or vise versa, no more dad jokes about “cutting the cheese”. Overall, a great invention. Add some Wheat Thins or Townhouse crackers, whatever your child fancies and call it a day! A perfect easy snack for a Monday.

TUESDAY:
Once we kept it simple with cheese and crackers, the only clear next option is to spice it up a little bit! Get your creative mom juices flowing. Homemade fruit rollups. Yup. Homemade fruit rollups. This one is a little more complicated to describe so bare with me. First, you’re going to puree 3 cups of fruit with 1 tablespoon of sweetener and 1 teaspoon of lemon juice. The fruit is up to your discretion, I would go with something your kids like but that’s just my suggestion. The sweetener can be honey, maple syrup or sugar. Then you bake it in the oven for about 4-8 hours on the lowest temperature your oven can go. You have to make sure you spread your fruit thinly onto a baking sheet. The fruit is done when it is no longer sticky to the touch. Once they are done, you cut them in strips and roll them in either parchment paper or wax paper. That’s it. It’s pretty easy to follow. I got this idea from amindfullmom, she goes into more detail if you’re super interested in these!

WEDNESDAY:

For Wednesday, I’m thinking oatmeal bites. They are a great option because these are no bake oatmeal bites! This one is super easy and fun! You’re to combine 1 cup of oats, ½ cup of mini chocolate chips, ½ cup of flax seed, ½ cup of crunchy peanut butter, ⅓ cup of honey, and 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract together in a bowl. Then you form them into balls with your hands and then freeze for about 1 hour. They delicious and quick! You could even get your children involved in help making these. They would be so excited to make their own snack, not to mention, proud of their work!

THURSDAY:

Thursday’s great because it can be a leftover from dinner the night before! Make a nice pasta salad, set aside some in the fridge for the morning. This is easy and fast. Put some in a tupperware and you’re all set. Your child will find it interesting because it’s usually a dinner food. Kids love things that are out of routine and out of the ordinary, like when I put in cereal a couple blogs ago. They love things that are not at the time they are used to seeing it. 

FRIDAY:

Let’s end this week with a bang, we had some exciting snacks and some more chill snacks. Get your child in the weekend spirit with cookies! Whether you buy Chips Ahoy or make them from your grandmother’s recipe, your child will love getting cookies in their lunchbox. Maybe mix it up, give them a couple different types or stick to the classic chocolate chip. This is a pure judgment call. If you bake cookies, you’ll have them all weekend like I suggested with brownies in the last blogs. Cookies are always a crowd pleaser!

Thanks again for being patient with us as we also get back into the school routine. Back to school affects everyone, not just kids! If you’re looking for a fun way to connect with your child during down time after school make sure to check out our Fujimini Island blog for character descriptions of your favorite Fujimini Friends.

Weekly Lunchbox #2

By: Kate Camillo

Hi guys! I am back with another lunchbox! I love this series because it really has a lot of information in each post and you can always go back and look at old posts for inspiration. Let’s dive right in!

MONDAY:
I have two words for you: string. cheese. This snack is an all around crowd pleaser. String cheese is a great quick, no effort snack for a Monday. It’s easy, it's cheap and honestly it's delicious. Who doesn’t want to pull their cheese into strings?

TUESDAY:
A lettuce wrap is a great snack! Put some of your kids favorite stuff in there like turkey and cheese, and you’re good to go. Maybe put some chicken, barbeque sauce and cheese on it. There are so many options, you can make them entirely your own. This is a good snack that you can reuse this snack idea by adding other things in them to spice it up!


WEDNESDAY:
A fun treat for Wednesday is something as simple as cereal. However, seeing cereal in a different setting will make your child view it differently. Maybe you give them Lucky Charms or Reese’s Puffs, something they normally wouldn’t eat for breakfast. It’s fast and easy and is fun! Kids get to eat sugary cereals they love and you get a happy child. No need for milk either! Just a little baggy of the most fun cereal you can find.

Courtesy: CafeDelites.com

THURSDAY:
On Thursday, maybe give your kids something a little more healthy. Fruit salad is a great option. You can choose what you want to put it in it, ensuring your child’s satisfaction. It’s colorful and brings some life into their lunchbox. This is a great way to get your kids to eat some fruit.


FRIDAY:
I personally like to end the week on a good note. Give your kids something fun, something they really like. Last week, I said brownies. This week I think dirt pudding would be a great snack. Some people have different names for this snack, but basically it is chocolate pudding or chocolate mousse with crushed oreos on top and gummy bears. The crushed oreos could be substituted with mini chocolate chips or anything that resembles “dirt” crumbles. It gets its name because it looks like dirt, especially with the “worms” on the top. This is so cute! This is a personal favorite of mine. 

That’s all I have for this week guys! I hope this inspired you to be a little creative with your snacks and also find a nice balance with what you’re feeding your kids. Come back next week for more!

Weekly Lunch Box

By: Kate Camillo

As school is coming, for some it might already be here, it’s time to start planning out some lunches. Snack and lunch are by far the best time of the day for your child, no question about it. In this new series, I am going to give you some fun ideas for snacks. As moms, there is only so many things we can plan and maybe having a little snack list will take some of the pressure off packing lunches and you can focus on more important things. You’re welcome in advance. Before I begin with the list, I want to do a little disclaimer. These blogs are for the moms who still care, but maybe don’t have time to make their own zucchini crackers from veggies they harvested on their own. These ideas are cute, quick and simple for when your brain needs a break after a work day. Enjoy and comment down below any of your kids fave snacks so we can add them to an upcoming blog.

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MONDAY:
Monday has got to be to a fun snack because everyone hates Mondays. I’m sure you had to drag your kid out of your bed. To perk up their day a little bit and make them happy, try S’mores snack mix. Not super healthy, but fun! To make this you only need 3 things; Teddy Grahams, mini marshmallows, and chocolate chips. Throw it all in a bag and you’re good to go. Of course you can substitute pretzels, chex mix or cinnamon toast crunch depending on your preference.

TUESDAY:
Tuesday is a healthy day, especially after Monday’s fun snack. Let’s go with a classic: veggies and dip! Get a little cup of dip and a baggie of baby carrots or whatever veggie your kid likes the best and you’re good to go.

WEDNESDAY:
Wednesday’s a toss up, you can either go fun or healthy, not that healthy can’t be fun. This week I’m thinking about going with pretzels. The thing about pretzels is that they are so versatile. You can buy pretzel sticks or pretzel nuggets. You can get them seasoned or you could add a dip like peanut butter to add a little something something to the snack.

THURSDAY:
A cute idea for Thursday would be something redesigned. Pancakes are fun and are super easy to make. Make a couple mini pancakes and toss in a little Nutella and you have a sweet treat to get your child through the day.

FRIDAY:
To reward your child for making it through the week, give him something sweet. Cook them some brownies Thursday night and put on in their lunch box. The batch will last you all weekend so you have something for dessert for after dinner. I have a lot of good ideas for the next couple weeks. I know these snacks were a bit of a no brainer, but I thought I would ease into this new series. I am excited to look up some more cool recipes and share with you little things to help brighten your child’s day. See you next week, bring your appetite.

Click here to find our ONCEKids back to school checklist series:

Click here to meet the Fujimini Island family.

ONCEKids Back to School Checklist (Part 4 of 4)

By: Kate Camillo

Welcome back! We’re wrapping up our back to school checklist. As the summer is winding down, it is important to refocus on the school year. It is time to switch gears from bathing suits to backpacks, from cookouts to pb&j sandwiches, from late nights to early mornings. We’ve been over the basics and I encourage you go read the other parts before catching up on this one to get the vibe we are going for with this series. This is not your average checklist; no pencils and 36 pack of crayons involved. This is about making sure you are doing the right things at home to prepare your child for school and help them, with more than just their homework, once school picks up.

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It’s a new school year, your child is going to be around different kids and it is important to remind them how to make friends. You should help them practice how to introduce themselves and what to say to other children. Having common interests is the main bond children have; such as their favorite game, their favorite show, and their favorite book. This can help them find friends to sit with at lunch. These friends can come over to play games, and hang out. Who knows when your child will meet their best friend, I met mine when I was five, it is important to help them break the ice.

Another thing to help them break the ice would be to do some practice runs before school starts. See if your child’s school has a Meet the Teacher event they can go to. Especially if it is a new school, show your child where to line up at the start of the day and where the bus will pick them up. It’s important to make sure your child is comfortable in their environment. All of these things are to ensure a smooth transition in a stressful time.

Last but certainly not least, lets talk about those real back to school checklists. If your child’s teacher provides a school supply list, follow it! Grab your kid and make a day of it. This will help them get excited for school. Have them pick out notebooks with their favorite characters on it and a backpack that they’ll want to carry. When going back to school shopping for clothes, let them pick out some cool pieces that are going to make them want to get ready. The last thing your kid wants is for you to come home with a bag of stuff they don’t necessarily like. Always have them pick out clothes the night before so there are no battles in the morning.

My last tip hits close to home. If you have a shy child, go out of your way to write notes and leave pictures in their lunchbox. TRUST ME! This will go a long way. As someone who did not take to anyone other than her parents until she was like 7, please understand that back to school is a very hard time for us. A note in their lunchbox or a picture of you guys will help them get through the day.

That’s it folks for this back to school checklist series. Don’t worry, we got another one coming. Come back next week to learn some great tips and tricks on how to fill your child’s lunchbox!

Our final checklist:

• Provide your kids downtime
• Encourage new forms of reading
• Get their creative juices flowing with imagining stories
• Ease them into structure
• Spend time together
• Help them make friends
• Practice runs at school
• Make back to school shopping fun
• Lay out outfits every night before school
• Send notes and pictures into your child’s lunchbox

17 days until September 1st!!! See you next week!

ONCEKids Back to School Checklist (Part 3 of 4)

By: Kate Camillo

Hi guys. Welcome back. As you can see this is the third part of a series, check out the previous blog posts to get caught up to what we’re going to talk about today. We are all sick and tired of seeing the same blogs and posts about pencils and glue sticks and folders. While those are important, we’re here to discuss more unconventional things that need to be addressed in time for back to school.

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Back to school is a busy time for all, kids have to be put back on a schedule that they were not used to during the summer. It is best to ease your child in because the last thing you want is a tantrum the first day of school because they are tired and don’t want to get ready for school. Start by waking them up a little bit earlier than they normally would. If your child is a natural early riser (which if you are that lucky, I’m jealous), then you have nothing to worry about. I’m not saying wake them up at 6 am, but maybe 9 instead of 10, the act of being woken up is going to prepare them for school. Along with wake ups in the weeks leading up to school, it is good to have your child get ready, such as getting dressed and eating after the wake up so they are used to having to do something in the morning. This is very different from them waking up whenever they please and wearing pajamas all day. Lastly, you should set time aside where they have something they have to do, to mimic a school day. Maybe have them read for half an hour, or sit and focus on something like the Fujimini game. You don’t have to play teacher and whip out a lesson plan, but an hour of having something they have to do will prepare your children for the inevitable, school. Of course these things are in no means necessary, nor do you have to do them everyday, but this could help with potential argument that occurs the morning of the first day of school.

Once school starts it is going to be hard to focus on anything else. You’ll ask them how their day was and help them with their homework and learn how to do whatever math teachers are teaching these days. It can be hard to connect with your child outside of this. Next on our list is making time to spend with your child that can help your relationship and help them detach from school. You can read together, play the Fujimini game together, check a weekly blog such as the Fujimini one, or anything else you can think of. It is important to make time to hang out with your kid. Don’t get so caught up in back to school that you forget the relationship you had in the summer, the fun one where you played games and went to the park.

Fujimini Island is a community that can help you do this, we have a game, a blog, an instagram, a website, coloring pages and so much more. We see the value of parents being with their kids and are here to help. (Another shameless promo, I’m sorry, but not really because it’s my job). Promo or not, that statement still holds true, we are here to help bond together mother (or father) and kids.

Checklist so far:

• Provide your kids downtime
• Encourage new forms of reading
• Get their creative juices flowing with imagining stories
• Ease them into structure
• Spend time together

Countdown until September 1st: 25 days!! It’s getting so close! I can almost smell the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!!!

Find ONCEKids Publishing on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram here.

I hope you’re enjoying the last couple weeks of summer and we’ll see you next week!

ONCEKids Back to School Checklist (Part 2 of 4)

By: Kate Camillo

Welcome back fellow moms. We’re getting closer and closer to back to school! I know you’re as excited as I am. This week we are going to continue last week’s topic of a back to school checklist. Before you roll your eyes, go check out last week’s blog that describes how this isn’t just your average checklist that gets handed out on the first day of school.

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Today we’re going to talk about reading. Inspiring your child to read is big responsibility. Some kids “hate” reading. No one actually hates reading, they just think whatever they are reading is boring. If you can find a more interesting way to incorporate reading into their lives, why not do it. With all of this technology, there are so many forms of reading other than picking up a picture book. Show your kids blogs, expose them to the combination of storytelling and technology. Comic books, blogs, websites, and many other sources of reading can help your child blossom into the scholar you hope them to be.

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From reading your child can turn to writing. By playing games that include storytelling they can become interested in making up their own stories. This can help them with their writing skills in school. Storytelling to writing essays, your child will be able to do it all.

Reading and writing are those skills you can sneakily add into your kids life without them knowing. I’m sure they would notice if you asked them 5x5 and would yell at you about how “It’s the weekend!” By encouraging them to catch up on their favorite characters through a blog, or ask them to tell you story to get their creative juices flowing, you will be stimulating their mind. As a parent, it is your job to enrich their education.

As of right now, on our checklist we have:

• Provide your kids downtime
• Encourage new forms of reading
• Get their creative juices flowing with imagining stories

33 days until September 1st! 33! We’re so close. We’re almost there. We got this.

ONCEKids Back to School Checklist (Part 1 of 4)

Written by Kate Camillo

Back to school! Back to school! Let’s shout it from the rooftops! It’s almost that time where we can send our kids back to school!! Best time of the year! I’m sure you saw the title and were like “nope, I’m out”, but don’t worry this is not going to be your basic back to school list comprised of pencils and 2 inch binders, which leads me to wonder if 2 whole inches are really necessary. This is our ONCEKids out of the box checklist designed to remind you of the not so obvious things to prepare for the upcoming school year.

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We have to start prepping for this time as a collective mom-unit. The night before the first day is not the time to figure out how this show is going to be run. We have to have our routine mastered, our pencils sharpened and our kids well-rested. I am sure your child’s wonderful educators will provide you with a list of items they need in the classroom and in their backpack. I STRONGLY suggest you buy tissues, pencils, and other things in bulk for your child’s teacher as a sign of appreciation on top of the list they give you because most of the supplies bought for classrooms is paid out of pocket by the teachers, not provided by the school. But we’re here to talk about what goes on at home, after school and before school.

While back to school can be stressful for us, it is actually more stressful for the kids. It is a complete change in their routine of staying up, watching movies, sleeping in and eating Mickey Mouse shaped chocolate chip pancakes in the morning, or more likely eating Eggos and Trix cereal. Kids need down time once school starts! They need time to relax and wind down after a long day of studying spelling words and learning their times tables. (This is only kind of sarcastic). Video games are some of the best ways for kids to relax. They get to focus on something else. I mean you’ve been here, you’ve read all the reasons why video games are fantastic, there’s no reason for me to repeat myself. But, I am going to direct you to my previous blog posts if you have absolutely no idea what I am talking about. Fujimini Island the game is coming out right in time for back to school. Yes, I did just shamelessly promote myself and product. But more importantly, they need to escape school after they finish their homework, watch a show, read a book, play a game.

Alright, so this series (if we can even call it that), will continue next week and maybe even on to the week after. I really don’t know. If I’m being completely honest, I haven’t written it yet. One thing I do know is that it will pick up right where this left off with more items for our back to school checklist that is not really a back to school checklist. Be sure to follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Also, the Fujimini Island blog will be up soon with character descriptions that really complement the books.

Countdown until September 1st anybody? 40 days. FORTY. That’s 3,469,985 seconds in case you were wondering. Let me know your child’s first day in the comments down below and I’ll add that to our countdown at the end of every blog.

Video Game Advantage for Kids: Video Games = Good? (Part 6 of 6)

By: Kate Camillo

Hopefully everyone is realizing the many positive, exciting and fantastic aspects of video games for children! Video games are actually an important contributor to children’s interactions, socialization, development of strategy and reflex action, and more. Our exploration of this topic has us saying with confidence - Video Games = GOOD!

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We have talked about problem solving skills, concentration, focus, creativity, history, culture, neurogenesis and so much more. Video games are a normal part of childhood now as we are in the age of technology. There are games out there for everyone; sports games, racing games, historical games, single player games, multiplayer games. There is a video game that suits everyone’s interest whether it be tending to pets or racing your Lamborghini through the streets of LA. Your children will be able to meet other children through games and form a friendship based on similar interests. They can play together and learn how to work as a team or they can work on their leadership skills while teaching the rookie how to play a game. The act of teaching is very powerful for a child because they not only feel confident in their skills, but they also feel listened to. Competition is in our nature as humans and video games are a healthy and safe way for kids to express those competitive urges. Games help to motivate children, with rewards for going further on in the game. This motivation and drive can be rekindled as a child grows in school and their career. They will always feel driven to reach that next level, that next step. Video games aid in the improvement of the brain’s speed. This can affect coordination, decision making and multitasking skills. If your child is the best of the best, they can even compete in international competitions where they battle other gamers. This is a new category of sports called eSports, the “e” standing for electronic. By 2019, it is estimated that eSports will have an audience of 427 million people. Yup, MILLION! The top eSport gamer in the world has earned $3.7 million. Again, MILLION! Gamers are no longer the quiet kids in the class, they are strong, personable and are making some serious money. Video games just keep getting better and better!

Thanks for tuning into this series, I hope you enjoy what we have coming up for you next!

Video Game Advantage for Kids: Video Games = Good? (Part 5 of 6)

By: Kate Camillo

Welcome back guys! I hope everyone has been enjoying this series so far. We are almost done and will be moving on to a new topic in the next couple of weeks. Before we get down to business, I just want to suggest to you guys to follow ONCEKids and Fujimini Island on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter for updates, posts, and much more! 

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Let’s talk about parent-child relationships. It can sometimes be hard to relate to your child if you have completely different interests. Video games can be a great way to connect with your child. You can play together or against each other. Video games also switch up the dynamic between parent and child. It will be your child’s turn to teach you how to do something. This will give your child a chance to have a leg up over mom and dad in something. This can do wonders for a kid’s confidence and overall mood. By giving a child the opportunity to teach a skill, you are helping their communication and social skills. They are also learning the value of practice and patience. Playing a game together is a great way to bond, the conversation between the two of you will come naturally. Playing against each other is also a great way to bond. It will spark a healthy competition between the two of you and will create a continuous setting to spend time together. No one gives up after a loss, there is always a rematch! Always a “same time, same place!” Always an “I’ll get you next time!” This ensures more time to bond, compete and grow a relationship. 

Video games help as a way to alleviate many things such as anxiety, stress, pain and cravings. The focus needed for games can be used as a helpful distraction from everyday bothers. Video games let you escape the outside world and completely dive into a new one where those everyday stresses do not exist. What a great book can do for some, a great game can do for others. Your kid had a hard day at school, let him go play his favorite game for an hour and watch his bad mood get replaced with an awesome one!

I am going to take this opportunity to drop a quote from a CBSNews article about a study done on effects of video games on children and I am sure it will speak for itself. “Those who played video games ... were associated with the highest levels of sociability and were most likely to say they were satisfied with their lives. They also appeared to have fewer friendship and emotional problems, and reported less hyperactivity than the other groups." 

The next time you see your child playing a video game ask to watch or even join! Hope you enjoyed this week’s blog and we’ll see you next week!

Video Game Advantage for Kids: Video Games = Good? (Part 4 of 6)

By: Kate Camillo

Welcome back, I hope you are enjoying your summer and having fun with your children! We’ve talked about problem solving skills, organization, culture and history. It’s now time to discuss some more educational benefits of video games! Who knew video games provided such great benefits for our kids? Studies have been done and research has been collected and I’m here to present it to you week by week in small bite-sized portions and who doesn’t love a little bite-sized snack? So get ready to sink your teeth into this week’s blog on video games.

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Let’s start out with some words that parents will inevitably find impressive. Video games are proven to aid in neurogenesis. Neurogenesis is the growth of neurons. Video games stimulate that process. How impressive is that?! Video games also help kids recognize patterns. Along with seeing patterns, video games help with seeing in general. Video games can provide children with improvement in vision as the contrast sensitivity function of their eyes is being used. This allows them to be able to better detect contrast in images and surroundings. There’s even rumors about video games helping people with dyslexia develop learning strategies! The constantly changing environments that require intense focus can help those who suffer from dyslexia by providing them a place to practice the intense focus that is needed when dealing with the disorder. 

Having your child play video games increases their ability to think on their feet, make decisions, and enhance their multitasking skills. Throughout a game there will be multiple challenges a player  faces and there is absolutely no way to be successful without rapid thinking, action, and reaction; multi-tasking is built into the games leveling systems.  Video games reward risk-takers, but only the smart ones! Most games are programmed to be pro-risk. Learning to take educated risks that pay off? Sign me up! That’s exactly what kids should learn and why video games are important. Not only are your children learning and having to abide by the rules of the game, but they also have chances to take risks and have those risks pay off in real time. 

Last but not least, video games help kids make friends! They play online with each other; they can use a new game as a topic of conversation, and they can play against each other. Sometimes children have a hard time making friends because of a lack of similar interest or connection. Through video games, children interact with others playing games they are passionate about. Video games are worldwide; your child is potentially interacting with others from different countries and learning about those cultures. (Rewind to last week). While competing and working as teams, children are bonding and becoming friends. Children look forward to not only playing the game, but playing with their friends. It kills two birds with one stone. Video games provide friendship for kids, along with the dozens of other benefits! 

We are deep in this series and it just keeps getting better and better. Check back next week for more. Thanks for reading and keep on playing!

The Mom’s Code -- Girlfriends and Girls Night Out: A Girls Night Out in Action (Part 2 of 5)

Women need to nourish their souls with Girls Night Out.

I have a wonderful support system but I’ve moved a lot so I have to continuously build new ones. My women friends are important but sometimes I’m so crazy busy, I beg off of dinners or cancel plans last minute. This is a mistake because there are always crises at home to tackle. I’ll never have an open space on the calendar. Although, GNO literally means Girls Night Out, for me it means bring myself out, take my ‘self’ on a date. Me, myself and I— all of us need to get out. I’m pretty fun when I’m not whirling around in some worry spiral. For those few precious hours, I’m not just a wife or mommy. 

When I moved to Seoul, I left behind my support networks. I had lived in Denmark, France, Belgium and London as a young adult. I always had a purpose. I moved for school or for my jobs. Met my husband there. Got married. But this moving to Asia, as a trailing, non-working spouse with four children was very different.

The night before I left, my friends threw me a celebration dinner. My husband had been in Seoul for a month and a half while I prepared for the move. There were shots, passports, and six months worth of clothes, potentially needed medications and other school related things I was trying to assemble. My house was like the gong show and I was running through activities as if my life depended on it. I almost cancelled the dinner but I knew Lanie would bang on my door and insist I come out. 

Usually, we teased Steph for ordering the scallops for the hundredth time. Lanie would drink one too many glasses of wine and flirt with our waiter. 

But this night, two things were different. I was moving to Seoul, and Steph was convinced that her husband was cheating on her. She looked like she hadn’t eaten in two weeks. All the brightness from her flaming red hair and expressive green eyes was gone. No one knew what to say.

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“I still can’t believe you’re moving to Korea! You’re the only person I’ve ever met to do this. It’s actually very crazy of you.” Nikki said. “You better come back!” She looked like a retired beauty queen— a blue-eyed brunette, dressed to the nines.

“Keep us posted on your every move,” said Lanie, shifting her lacy bra strap. “We’re going to live vicariously through you. We can’t wait to hear about the back alleys of Seoul!” Lanie attracted the attention of our waiter, who couldn’t keep his eyes off her. We’d have great service tonight.

“Are you going to get a housekeeper?” Nikki asked. “My neighbor, Eunjoo, says every well-off and expat family has a full-time housekeeper. I’m so jealous!” 

“I guess but I read the lack of privacy is tough. And I’m not sure how Koreans feel about Americans. They always seem to be protesting against us,” I said. 

“How about a driver? Do they allow foreign women to drive?” Audrey pushed. She thinks everyone should have as much help as possible. 

“Yes, women can drive but the traffic is brutal and many of the signs are hard to understand or in Hangul. They don’t want expat wives on the road. And I read that sometimes locals target expats by staging accidents to get money. So a driver, Mr. Park, is part of the contract.”

“I’ll bet he’s gorgeous,” said Lanie. “I’m going to fantasize about him seducing you. You’ll find him irresistible. Or maybe he’s devious, an enemy among us, until he falls in love with you.” We were all laughing.

She continued. “And one day, his hand will brush your thigh as you step into your beautiful black sedan. Then you’ll stop wearing undies, so he can bend you over quickly every time the opportunity presents itself. OMG! I’m going to attack Brian later and make him wear a chauffeur’s cap! Don't you dare tell me if Mr. Park is ugly or old!”

“I can’t believe you’ll have that much help. Does she do laundry and cook?” asked Nikki. “Maybe you can live the life of a pampered princess for a few years, living in an exotic country.” Nikki’s big brown eyes sparkle with her new eyelashes. Nikki keeps us all guessing as to how she keeps such a meticulous house. And one that always smells like wafer cookies.

“The housekeeper’s name is Mrs. Chun,” I said, “She’s worked with foreign families for 30 years so we’re lucky to have her. But you know me well enough to know I’ll be very hands-on with the kids. I hope Mr. Park and Mrs. Chun aren’t bored. And, I do want to drive sometimes. Not driving at all would be a loss of freedom for me.” 

Audrey said, “Hmm. A princess living in an aquarium or six hours of driving, four loads of laundry, three meals that no one wants to eat, five hours of cleaning the house, every day… is there really an issue here?”

“But Mrs. Chun and Mr. Park will have it good too. When I die and come back to life, I either want to work for you, be your kid, or be your dog. You’re going to be too nice. I just know it,” said Nikki. 

“Working for a foreigner is considered a really good job. Koreans don’t want to work for other Koreans. Apparently, they treat their help badly. The culture is extremely hierarchical.” They all looked at me, knowing I despise people-stacking. I said, “Well, that’s what I read, anyway.” 

Nikki said. “One piece of advice: don’t start feeling guilty before Mrs. Chun even shows up! I’m terrible — I don't want our cleaner to think I’m lazy, so I clean up before she comes. Cracks my husband up.”

Lanie grabbed my hand. “You’re going to love having a housekeeper and driver. Enjoy it!” She drummed her fingers on the table. “I’m sick of the guilt. I gained 42 pounds when I was pregnant with Katie. I felt terrible about myself, so I joined a gym. Then I felt terrible about leaving Katie in daycare while I was working out. Of course, Brian was his usual understanding self: ‘Wow, lucky you, getting to work out and do yoga in the middle of the day.’ Of course, I lost my temper and yelled, ‘I gained weight growing a person during the pregnancies, while you contributed a sperm that makes a pea look like Mount Everest, and I will never have the same shape again! If a mom has three kids, statistically, she has gained and lost, and maybe not, over 75 pounds and that's if she gained the minimum! So don’t say a word about yoga or the gym or I’ll sew your mouth shut!’” 

We all laughed hysterically. Other diners looked our way, some amused, others annoyed. I love Lanie. My friend, the yoga instructor, who has a bad temper. “Don’t worry about the battle,” she said. “The make up sex was awesome.”

Nikki laughed, “I hate the gym. I just need to get into my dress for my cousin’s wedding. That’s as far as my aspirations go. Thank goodness I can only go twice a week, since my meddler-in-law measures how often I leave the house.”

I said, “I know. For me it’s getting into my ski pants every year. Have to keep the weight creep to a minimum.”

Steph sighed loudly. We were waiting for a cue. I grabbed her hand. “So how are you? Do you want to talk? We’re so worried about you. You’re too skinny and look so sad.”

“I don’t want to be a downer. If I start to cry, I might not be able to stop,” Steph said. “It just keeps getting worse and worse.”

“Why do you think he’s cheating?” Nikki asked. 

“I found a receipt for a restaurant he went to on a business trip to Boston. I asked him who he was with, and he said he ate alone at the bar. Really? You had steak for two and two bottles of wine by yourself? 

All he said was ‘I was really hungry,’ and left the room.”

“Coward,” I said.

“Where there’s smoke, there’s fire,” said Lanie, her blue eyes flashing dark. “So I surfed around and found his profile on a dating service for married men. He’s a dog, a chronically cheating, lying piece of shit. His profile’s still up!” 

“He didn’t even come home last night,” Steph said. “He said his meeting ran late, so he spent the night at the Soho Grand. I don't know what I’m going to do. He’s still pushing for sex constantly. Sometimes I give in because I want him to remember how much he loved me at one point.”

“Stop putting out!” I joked. But it’s partly true. I say gently, “His cheating is not a reflection of you or something you did; it’s a reflection of him. I think the sex is a power play. He feels like he has the upper hand right now.”

Steph said, “Even if you’re right, I have to think about the kids and our parents. It’s such a mess. And the worst part is, I still love him. I’m so sad that it’s hard for me to get up in the morning. How could he do this to me? What’s wrong with me?” She started to weep. “And I’m trying to hide everything from the kids and they are acting horrible. Horrible. Horrible. Horrible. I’m at my wit’s end.”



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“You have to be smart, Steph,” Nikki said. “If he’s lying about this, he could be hiding money and lying about other things. You have to protect yourself and your kids.” Nikki is the most sensible and genuine of my friends. That night she was the model of a ‘hip mom’ with her bangle bracelets, hoop earrings, and cool boots. 

Steph said, “He acts like the kids acting up is all my fault. That we owe him some perfectly quiet house to come home to. It’s like none of us is measuring up. I want shield the kids from his meanness and selfishness so I hound them to behave so Mitch doesn’t lock himself in his office when he gets home.”

I said, “Mitch is a bitch.Sorry just joking. You’re doing a great job. Save enough energy to keep your routine in place. Kids test boundaries when they are scared. They know something is wrong in the house. Keep the bedtimes and other limits you have set. Pour affection into them as they go to bed, even when they’ve been monsters so they sleep well.” 

Steph nodded, “You’re right. I can do these things.”

The whole group continued laying out potential next steps for our sweet, utterly destroyed Steph. As we talked, I was struck by how much love and caring is in our group. I was also struck by the fact that my friend, who always looks so perfect on the outside, had pulled back the curtain for us. And behind it, there was mayhem and torment, and it just was not perfect at all. 

The Mom’s Code -- Girlfriends and Girls Night Out: Keep it Honest and Real (Part 1 of 5)

I view honesty in all forms as a great gift, and a symbol of trust. For me, this is the core of GNO. Each mom bringing her ‘self’ out, reaching in and pulling her out of her daily grind.

When I was an expat in Seoul, Mrs. Chun used to discourage me making Korean girlfriends. She wanted to be the primary influencer. She said Korean moms never had girls’ night out. They had lunches.

Mrs. Chun

Girls Night Out is silly. Good mommies stay home and help their children with homework. Husbands have work dinners. His job. Your job is stay home. Other Korean mommies will put bad ideas in your head. Don’t make trouble and don’t embarrass husband. Hotel bars are for bad girls. You stay home.

The Mom's Code Tenet 7: Nourish Your Soul with Girls' Night Outs

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I agree that GNOs can be anywhere and anytime. Yune, Min-Jee, Ahn, Lydia, Maeve and I had lots of long lunches in hip Seoul, dressing up and having fun. We shopped the exotic markets, finding treasures and bargaining fiercely. We talked about kids and stressful situations as we walked along the shopping alleys. All of us had stories. We had things we weren’t sure about. We could talk about our small victories and the way a child made us laugh. They were shared experiences because all of us were invested. As the kids entered school, our talks evolved to the pressure of raising children amidst the ruthless competitiveness starting to surround us. 

Gatherings with girlfriends nurtures our souls so we can wake up the next day and face the newest set of challenges associated with the daily grind.

Other friends offered their views about GNO.

Nikki, “I solve like a girl”

A discussion about your challenges with your husband? It’s virtually a one-way conversation, followed by a flood of action-oriented advice. If the advice is not immediately and entirely embraced, the husband gets annoyed. Girls’ Night Out conversations are meandering discussions with many unanticipated turns that leave a mom feeling like she has released her stress, and someone understands her. A collective idea for resolution is usually offered. And there are always issues to solve. I’d be a terrible mother without my sounding boards.

Joanna, don’t hijack GNOs with a personal agenda

We have had the same girls group for years and our children are growing up together. Now that our kids are in elementary school, sometimes the conversations end up getting competitive. At our last dinner, two moms were talking about how they can’t get their kids to go to bed due to their voracious reading. As a teacher, I know that children often love to read until about second grade when they have to read to complete journals and do all their other subjects. Then it is a challenge to develop great readers (which is critical because good readers tend to be good learners). Then one of the moms said about her kindergartener, ‘Luke is sailing through the Jack and Annie books. I don’t know what I’m going to do. There’s a shortage of good books for that level for boys.’ Maeve was clearly fed up and said, ‘Well good for Luke, he’ll be into porn by second grade.’ We all took a sip of our drink and looked away to hide that we were smiling.

The Mom's Code Tenet 9: Don't Lose Your Sexy Self

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Min-Jee, I was a GNO skeptic

I never had many women friends. I don’t get along all that well with women because I can’t stand petty behavior and drama. I prefer men’s more straightforward approach. But then I accepted an invitation for a moms’ dinner, to be honest, for my kids. My sons really wanted to play with certain kids so I went with the moms for a meal. Our discussions were amazing. There was a little gossip, but mainly we talked about our kids. Talking about the daily challenges of raising them and sharing approaches to solving issues was therapeutic. And the women went out of their way to notice good things about each other. They noticed highlights, a new shirt, lost weight and also asked sincere questions about resolutions to issues they had discussed in the past. The only slightly awkward moment was when one American woman said, ‘you’re Asian, and I can never tell your age. How old are you?’ I said, ‘I’m turning mumble-something soon.’ Another woman, Lanie, said, ‘our group is all 39! Some have been 39 for more years than others. Amy, knock it off with the personal questions.’ To be honest, Asians can’t tell Westerner’s ages either, so I wasn’t offended.

Alyssa, Australian expert, watch for new arrivals

I’ve been around expats a bit. Every year new people come and go. In Seoul, the average assignment is eighteen months, a wee bit short compared to assignments in other places like Tokyo. The kids go to school and husbands (typically) go to the office. So we arrange a UN Village coffee every other month. This way new mums can meet other mums and form relationships and connections. It’s like speed dating for a mum. Not everyone becomes friends with everyone else. But it’s really critical, as mums who have moved clear across the world need a fair go at a social circle that includes adults. Expats tend to make friends with people they might not otherwise. As an Australian, I hang back a bit and watch. I don’t want a new best friend that I have to avoid later. I find with American mums, I either love the person or she’s on too much of a soapbox. But I’ve got a good circle here so I feel lucky. 

Audrey, GNO is fun!

When the girls go out to dinner, I feel a little bad for the waitress. My crew never just says, “I’ll have the chicken”. Every one of us has to change our dish. Can I have it grilled not breaded? No sauce please. Can I have extra vegetables and no potatoes? Please put the salad dressing on the side. I like my water with no lemon. Can we get more bread? Oy vey! If it comes wrong, we will always send it back. And our table does not like to be ignored! We call the waitress over. The funny part is….if we get something free, all the rules go out the window. With all the "no potatoes" and "no dressing" talk, if they bring us free dessert…even every dessert on the menu….. free…those plates will be polished clean!!! And by the end of the night, the waiters are often our best friends. I always have so much fun going out with my friends.

The Mom's Code Tenet 2: Enough With The Guilt

Audrey, we problem solve

A bunch of us really enjoy drinking Prosecco, an Italian Champagne. To be honest, it’s fairly inexpensive. At a liquor store, most bottles are $11 to $15. It’s hard to get a bad glass of Prosecco. I have gotten offended when a restaurant serves this inexpensive champagne in a flute. It is literally gone in 2 sips and they charge $12 a glass!  I recently figured out that if I ask for my Prosecco in a wine glass I essentially get a double pour for the same price! Now all of my friends order it that way and endure the peculiar reactions from the wait staff. 

For that moment in time, we are not competitors. We are friends and confidants and it makes us all feel human and understood.