Weekly Lunchbox #3

By: Kate Camillo

Welcome back, so sorry for the delay, it has been crazy with back to school. I’m sure you can all relate! Whether it’s homework or packing bags, getting to sleep early or waking up on time, this year has been a little rough to get used to. If you’re on the same page as I am, I’m sure you can use something to help ease some of the stress with back to school and luckily for you we have another weekly lunchbox for you to help plan some snacks.

MONDAY:
This Monday we’re going with a classic: cheese and crackers! Get some precut cheese, which honestly might be the literal best invention since sliced bread. No more uneven cheese slices where they start skinny and then get fatter or vise versa, no more dad jokes about “cutting the cheese”. Overall, a great invention. Add some Wheat Thins or Townhouse crackers, whatever your child fancies and call it a day! A perfect easy snack for a Monday.

TUESDAY:
Once we kept it simple with cheese and crackers, the only clear next option is to spice it up a little bit! Get your creative mom juices flowing. Homemade fruit rollups. Yup. Homemade fruit rollups. This one is a little more complicated to describe so bare with me. First, you’re going to puree 3 cups of fruit with 1 tablespoon of sweetener and 1 teaspoon of lemon juice. The fruit is up to your discretion, I would go with something your kids like but that’s just my suggestion. The sweetener can be honey, maple syrup or sugar. Then you bake it in the oven for about 4-8 hours on the lowest temperature your oven can go. You have to make sure you spread your fruit thinly onto a baking sheet. The fruit is done when it is no longer sticky to the touch. Once they are done, you cut them in strips and roll them in either parchment paper or wax paper. That’s it. It’s pretty easy to follow. I got this idea from amindfullmom, she goes into more detail if you’re super interested in these!

WEDNESDAY:

For Wednesday, I’m thinking oatmeal bites. They are a great option because these are no bake oatmeal bites! This one is super easy and fun! You’re to combine 1 cup of oats, ½ cup of mini chocolate chips, ½ cup of flax seed, ½ cup of crunchy peanut butter, ⅓ cup of honey, and 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract together in a bowl. Then you form them into balls with your hands and then freeze for about 1 hour. They delicious and quick! You could even get your children involved in help making these. They would be so excited to make their own snack, not to mention, proud of their work!

THURSDAY:

Thursday’s great because it can be a leftover from dinner the night before! Make a nice pasta salad, set aside some in the fridge for the morning. This is easy and fast. Put some in a tupperware and you’re all set. Your child will find it interesting because it’s usually a dinner food. Kids love things that are out of routine and out of the ordinary, like when I put in cereal a couple blogs ago. They love things that are not at the time they are used to seeing it. 

FRIDAY:

Let’s end this week with a bang, we had some exciting snacks and some more chill snacks. Get your child in the weekend spirit with cookies! Whether you buy Chips Ahoy or make them from your grandmother’s recipe, your child will love getting cookies in their lunchbox. Maybe mix it up, give them a couple different types or stick to the classic chocolate chip. This is a pure judgment call. If you bake cookies, you’ll have them all weekend like I suggested with brownies in the last blogs. Cookies are always a crowd pleaser!

Thanks again for being patient with us as we also get back into the school routine. Back to school affects everyone, not just kids! If you’re looking for a fun way to connect with your child during down time after school make sure to check out our Fujimini Island blog for character descriptions of your favorite Fujimini Friends.

Weekly Lunchbox #2

By: Kate Camillo

Hi guys! I am back with another lunchbox! I love this series because it really has a lot of information in each post and you can always go back and look at old posts for inspiration. Let’s dive right in!

MONDAY:
I have two words for you: string. cheese. This snack is an all around crowd pleaser. String cheese is a great quick, no effort snack for a Monday. It’s easy, it's cheap and honestly it's delicious. Who doesn’t want to pull their cheese into strings?

TUESDAY:
A lettuce wrap is a great snack! Put some of your kids favorite stuff in there like turkey and cheese, and you’re good to go. Maybe put some chicken, barbeque sauce and cheese on it. There are so many options, you can make them entirely your own. This is a good snack that you can reuse this snack idea by adding other things in them to spice it up!


WEDNESDAY:
A fun treat for Wednesday is something as simple as cereal. However, seeing cereal in a different setting will make your child view it differently. Maybe you give them Lucky Charms or Reese’s Puffs, something they normally wouldn’t eat for breakfast. It’s fast and easy and is fun! Kids get to eat sugary cereals they love and you get a happy child. No need for milk either! Just a little baggy of the most fun cereal you can find.

Courtesy: CafeDelites.com

THURSDAY:
On Thursday, maybe give your kids something a little more healthy. Fruit salad is a great option. You can choose what you want to put it in it, ensuring your child’s satisfaction. It’s colorful and brings some life into their lunchbox. This is a great way to get your kids to eat some fruit.


FRIDAY:
I personally like to end the week on a good note. Give your kids something fun, something they really like. Last week, I said brownies. This week I think dirt pudding would be a great snack. Some people have different names for this snack, but basically it is chocolate pudding or chocolate mousse with crushed oreos on top and gummy bears. The crushed oreos could be substituted with mini chocolate chips or anything that resembles “dirt” crumbles. It gets its name because it looks like dirt, especially with the “worms” on the top. This is so cute! This is a personal favorite of mine. 

That’s all I have for this week guys! I hope this inspired you to be a little creative with your snacks and also find a nice balance with what you’re feeding your kids. Come back next week for more!

Weekly Lunch Box

By: Kate Camillo

As school is coming, for some it might already be here, it’s time to start planning out some lunches. Snack and lunch are by far the best time of the day for your child, no question about it. In this new series, I am going to give you some fun ideas for snacks. As moms, there is only so many things we can plan and maybe having a little snack list will take some of the pressure off packing lunches and you can focus on more important things. You’re welcome in advance. Before I begin with the list, I want to do a little disclaimer. These blogs are for the moms who still care, but maybe don’t have time to make their own zucchini crackers from veggies they harvested on their own. These ideas are cute, quick and simple for when your brain needs a break after a work day. Enjoy and comment down below any of your kids fave snacks so we can add them to an upcoming blog.

via GIPHY

MONDAY:
Monday has got to be to a fun snack because everyone hates Mondays. I’m sure you had to drag your kid out of your bed. To perk up their day a little bit and make them happy, try S’mores snack mix. Not super healthy, but fun! To make this you only need 3 things; Teddy Grahams, mini marshmallows, and chocolate chips. Throw it all in a bag and you’re good to go. Of course you can substitute pretzels, chex mix or cinnamon toast crunch depending on your preference.

TUESDAY:
Tuesday is a healthy day, especially after Monday’s fun snack. Let’s go with a classic: veggies and dip! Get a little cup of dip and a baggie of baby carrots or whatever veggie your kid likes the best and you’re good to go.

WEDNESDAY:
Wednesday’s a toss up, you can either go fun or healthy, not that healthy can’t be fun. This week I’m thinking about going with pretzels. The thing about pretzels is that they are so versatile. You can buy pretzel sticks or pretzel nuggets. You can get them seasoned or you could add a dip like peanut butter to add a little something something to the snack.

THURSDAY:
A cute idea for Thursday would be something redesigned. Pancakes are fun and are super easy to make. Make a couple mini pancakes and toss in a little Nutella and you have a sweet treat to get your child through the day.

FRIDAY:
To reward your child for making it through the week, give him something sweet. Cook them some brownies Thursday night and put on in their lunch box. The batch will last you all weekend so you have something for dessert for after dinner. I have a lot of good ideas for the next couple weeks. I know these snacks were a bit of a no brainer, but I thought I would ease into this new series. I am excited to look up some more cool recipes and share with you little things to help brighten your child’s day. See you next week, bring your appetite.

Click here to find our ONCEKids back to school checklist series:

Click here to meet the Fujimini Island family.

ONCEKids Back to School Checklist (Part 4 of 4)

By: Kate Camillo

Welcome back! We’re wrapping up our back to school checklist. As the summer is winding down, it is important to refocus on the school year. It is time to switch gears from bathing suits to backpacks, from cookouts to pb&j sandwiches, from late nights to early mornings. We’ve been over the basics and I encourage you go read the other parts before catching up on this one to get the vibe we are going for with this series. This is not your average checklist; no pencils and 36 pack of crayons involved. This is about making sure you are doing the right things at home to prepare your child for school and help them, with more than just their homework, once school picks up.

via GIPHY

It’s a new school year, your child is going to be around different kids and it is important to remind them how to make friends. You should help them practice how to introduce themselves and what to say to other children. Having common interests is the main bond children have; such as their favorite game, their favorite show, and their favorite book. This can help them find friends to sit with at lunch. These friends can come over to play games, and hang out. Who knows when your child will meet their best friend, I met mine when I was five, it is important to help them break the ice.

Another thing to help them break the ice would be to do some practice runs before school starts. See if your child’s school has a Meet the Teacher event they can go to. Especially if it is a new school, show your child where to line up at the start of the day and where the bus will pick them up. It’s important to make sure your child is comfortable in their environment. All of these things are to ensure a smooth transition in a stressful time.

Last but certainly not least, lets talk about those real back to school checklists. If your child’s teacher provides a school supply list, follow it! Grab your kid and make a day of it. This will help them get excited for school. Have them pick out notebooks with their favorite characters on it and a backpack that they’ll want to carry. When going back to school shopping for clothes, let them pick out some cool pieces that are going to make them want to get ready. The last thing your kid wants is for you to come home with a bag of stuff they don’t necessarily like. Always have them pick out clothes the night before so there are no battles in the morning.

My last tip hits close to home. If you have a shy child, go out of your way to write notes and leave pictures in their lunchbox. TRUST ME! This will go a long way. As someone who did not take to anyone other than her parents until she was like 7, please understand that back to school is a very hard time for us. A note in their lunchbox or a picture of you guys will help them get through the day.

That’s it folks for this back to school checklist series. Don’t worry, we got another one coming. Come back next week to learn some great tips and tricks on how to fill your child’s lunchbox!

Our final checklist:

• Provide your kids downtime
• Encourage new forms of reading
• Get their creative juices flowing with imagining stories
• Ease them into structure
• Spend time together
• Help them make friends
• Practice runs at school
• Make back to school shopping fun
• Lay out outfits every night before school
• Send notes and pictures into your child’s lunchbox

17 days until September 1st!!! See you next week!

ONCEKids Back to School Checklist (Part 3 of 4)

By: Kate Camillo

Hi guys. Welcome back. As you can see this is the third part of a series, check out the previous blog posts to get caught up to what we’re going to talk about today. We are all sick and tired of seeing the same blogs and posts about pencils and glue sticks and folders. While those are important, we’re here to discuss more unconventional things that need to be addressed in time for back to school.

via GIPHY

Back to school is a busy time for all, kids have to be put back on a schedule that they were not used to during the summer. It is best to ease your child in because the last thing you want is a tantrum the first day of school because they are tired and don’t want to get ready for school. Start by waking them up a little bit earlier than they normally would. If your child is a natural early riser (which if you are that lucky, I’m jealous), then you have nothing to worry about. I’m not saying wake them up at 6 am, but maybe 9 instead of 10, the act of being woken up is going to prepare them for school. Along with wake ups in the weeks leading up to school, it is good to have your child get ready, such as getting dressed and eating after the wake up so they are used to having to do something in the morning. This is very different from them waking up whenever they please and wearing pajamas all day. Lastly, you should set time aside where they have something they have to do, to mimic a school day. Maybe have them read for half an hour, or sit and focus on something like the Fujimini game. You don’t have to play teacher and whip out a lesson plan, but an hour of having something they have to do will prepare your children for the inevitable, school. Of course these things are in no means necessary, nor do you have to do them everyday, but this could help with potential argument that occurs the morning of the first day of school.

Once school starts it is going to be hard to focus on anything else. You’ll ask them how their day was and help them with their homework and learn how to do whatever math teachers are teaching these days. It can be hard to connect with your child outside of this. Next on our list is making time to spend with your child that can help your relationship and help them detach from school. You can read together, play the Fujimini game together, check a weekly blog such as the Fujimini one, or anything else you can think of. It is important to make time to hang out with your kid. Don’t get so caught up in back to school that you forget the relationship you had in the summer, the fun one where you played games and went to the park.

Fujimini Island is a community that can help you do this, we have a game, a blog, an instagram, a website, coloring pages and so much more. We see the value of parents being with their kids and are here to help. (Another shameless promo, I’m sorry, but not really because it’s my job). Promo or not, that statement still holds true, we are here to help bond together mother (or father) and kids.

Checklist so far:

• Provide your kids downtime
• Encourage new forms of reading
• Get their creative juices flowing with imagining stories
• Ease them into structure
• Spend time together

Countdown until September 1st: 25 days!! It’s getting so close! I can almost smell the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!!!

Find ONCEKids Publishing on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram here.

I hope you’re enjoying the last couple weeks of summer and we’ll see you next week!

ONCEKids Back to School Checklist (Part 2 of 4)

By: Kate Camillo

Welcome back fellow moms. We’re getting closer and closer to back to school! I know you’re as excited as I am. This week we are going to continue last week’s topic of a back to school checklist. Before you roll your eyes, go check out last week’s blog that describes how this isn’t just your average checklist that gets handed out on the first day of school.

via GIPHY

Today we’re going to talk about reading. Inspiring your child to read is big responsibility. Some kids “hate” reading. No one actually hates reading, they just think whatever they are reading is boring. If you can find a more interesting way to incorporate reading into their lives, why not do it. With all of this technology, there are so many forms of reading other than picking up a picture book. Show your kids blogs, expose them to the combination of storytelling and technology. Comic books, blogs, websites, and many other sources of reading can help your child blossom into the scholar you hope them to be.

via GIPHY

From reading your child can turn to writing. By playing games that include storytelling they can become interested in making up their own stories. This can help them with their writing skills in school. Storytelling to writing essays, your child will be able to do it all.

Reading and writing are those skills you can sneakily add into your kids life without them knowing. I’m sure they would notice if you asked them 5x5 and would yell at you about how “It’s the weekend!” By encouraging them to catch up on their favorite characters through a blog, or ask them to tell you story to get their creative juices flowing, you will be stimulating their mind. As a parent, it is your job to enrich their education.

As of right now, on our checklist we have:

• Provide your kids downtime
• Encourage new forms of reading
• Get their creative juices flowing with imagining stories

33 days until September 1st! 33! We’re so close. We’re almost there. We got this.

The Mom’s Code: Going Back to School

Written by Eileen Wacker

Somewhere in my motherhood journey, Me, Myself and I became separate players on my personal team. Growing up, I was encouraged to do my best. Overachievement was admired. I worked really hard most of the time and had some pretty good jobs. When I got married, I had to learn to compromise. I’ve never been a fan because true compromise involves giving in, at least partially, on something you care about because it is more important to move forward than to be right, stuck at the top of some pyramid, all alone. Initially, I was horrible at compromising and then big battles with my beloved ensued so I got better at it. I reasoned I have to give some things up for the good of the team.

Learn more about The Moms Code and the tenets of being a happy Mom.

The definition of team got revised when we had kids, four of them, in six years. When they were born, I, as a mom, was born. Things shifted forever and a complete reprioritization drifted down, dressed in the cutest clothes, smelling like baby powder. I was in awe of their complete innocence and total dependence on me. I was determined to be the best mother I could be. They decimated my defenses. I added two dogs into the mix in a moment of weakness and agreed to work from home. Operating in a haze of chaos, I shifted/separated into Me, Myself, and I to cover as many bases as possible in my crazy-paced life.

I rely on my inner compass to make good mom choices but there is a lot of white noise. Last week, my kids had strep throat and the flu, my husband was traveling, I had a work deadline, and there were a lot of shenanigans in one of my kid’s sports caused by a hypercompetitive mom. All three parts of me started to collide and I had to referee the different points of view of Me, Myself and I.

Like The Moms Code on Facebook  Follow The Moms Code on Twitter.  Find us on Instagram.

I said, “I’m the boss here, the leader on the ground. Let’s remember what we signed up for. 

Myself, take a seat over there. You agreed that you would never sleep again. You’re holding down the family. You’re in charge of laundry, dishes, a clean house, groceries and everything else related to the home, including clothes and shoes that fit every growing human in the family. It’s endless and every day. Don’t expect personal hygiene to be important to kids and please work from home so you can morph into a net and catch all the problems that crop up at the house. To keep things interesting, we’ve had food allergies, learning issues, an open heart surgery, crooked teeth, broken bones, and other surprises. And it’s your job to get up with the kids to feed them, nurse them back to health, and talk about their hopes and dreams.”

‘I’ continued, “That’s where we shift it over to Me. 

Those hopes and dreams are your jurisdiction. Me, you were assigned to the kid’s schedules. Sounds easy but it’s a killer. Finding the right schools, doctors, activities and friends. Growing talents and policing the academics is an impossible task. Me, you might feel like you don’t have a lot to work with. Those little humans are filled with flaws and you need a money tree to afford all the activities and sports, never mind dental work. Most of the people in your world are connected with your children in some way, at least for the next eighteen years. You’ve chosen wisely but, Me, please limit the social engineering. The art of using the playdates as a climbing ladder for you and the children is unappetizing. We know it’s a jungle out there in the mom world. Many moms go to great lengths to secure any and every advantage for her child. And stomp on any mom or child that gets in the way of her plan.”

The Moms Code author Eileen Wacker also writes the acclaimed childrens books The Fujimini Adventure Series.  

Me said, “All my hopes and dreams shifted to my children. I’m not sure when this happened. People have asked me many times, ‘What are you hoping for?’  My answer inevitably ends up, ‘I hope my daughter makes the team’ or ‘I hope my son holds it together academically at school’ or ‘I hope my little girl has a happy day at school and someone invites her to something’. This is what happens to all the mom-Mes out there. I never sit and reflect about, “What are my hopes and dreams? What’s in it for ‘Me’? What do I want to accomplish? Because the mom-Mes are reacting to everything thrown in their path.”

‘I’ grew impatient with Me’s soliloquy. “Me, you accepted a long time ago that we needed to prioritize and it was kids first, then marriage, and we would have to give up a few things like our careers and our bodies. We are too deep in this to shift course. We have to keep the train on the tracks, especially with sick kids.”

‘Me’ backpedaled. “I’m not unhappy. But it’s constant, relentless and repeats every day. Of course there are true moments of celebration sprinkled throughout. This is what keeps our hearts so inflated with love. I just want it recognized that this enormous love has exquisite pain associated with it. And, also the puppy has a better haircut than me!”

I laughed and said to Myself, “That reminds me. Keep trying to maintain your sense of humor. Without it, you’re dead. I’m not kidding; keep the lightness, even when you are exhausted, because you are the center of the home.”

Many proud parents just like you appreciate multi-cultural education for your children.  Find this award-winning book series by clicking here. 

Me responded, “Every day at least for a little while, the children are happiness hijackers. They don’t go along with the intricate plans I have painstakingly put in place. How am I supposed to build brilliant, talented, and kind individuals in this complicated, competitive world when kids don’t cooperate at all? The first week of any new schedule is a killer. No one is where they are supposed to be and they are complaining, late and have all the wrong clothes and shoes. Myself is not organized when we have a new schedule. Sorry Myself…”

Myself said, “I gave up everything of myself to gain a different kind of everything. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  I’ve never wanted to trade it. I love the little time bandits. I just get tired sometimes and bone crushing weariness flows through me like a crazy uncontained river. So it takes me a few weeks to get a new normal going in the house every time a new season hits. Back to school is like the gong show, and the holidays, well, I don’t know where to begin.”

Me said quietly, “It’s not fair that I’m expected to pretend everything is perfect and make everything look perfect all the time. I’m not complaining, I’m communicating what it’s like out there for moms. I have no Me time! I need to work out. I need a shower alone in the bathroom with no one banging on the door. I’ve been sitting in this darkened corner for a long time and I need to get out. I want to get dressed up and go somewhere. It doesn’t mean I’m not all in on this parenting thing or that I don’t adore my children. I just feel like I lost me.”

Myself grew reflective. “I sometimes have low moments despite a happy marriage, relatively J nice children, a beautiful home and a nice lifestyle. But sometimes I stand on our balcony and stare at all nature’s beauty and majesty and feel isolated and lonely. How can this be when I have four kids that need me from 6 a.m. until the final meltdown at 8 p.m.?”

I said, “It’s because I miss Myself and Me sometimes and I feel a little sad. But I don’t want to be a princess crying into her chop chae so I put my head down and carry on.”

I continued, “We need to be a support system and sounding board to each other. We’ve had some soul crushing moments caused by unbelievably competitive and underhanded tactics in the mom world that we cannot control or avoid, but we have to stay united. All we can control is our reaction, which is far more positive when we agree certain behaviors are helpful and others are destructive. Let’s agree to a mom’s code and set a few boundaries to simplify things.

1   Stop trying to appear and be perfect and, raise perfect children. Let’s kick perfect to the curb as chasing it is wearing Me out. I’m ditching Whole Food bags as the new designer bags for good moms. Soaring Kraft Mac n Cheese sales let us know that there are a lot of secrets and cover-ups in pantries across America.

2   Lessen the hyper-parenting so Myself gets a little break. The kids can cut their meat, set an alarm, and wait ten minutes to be picked up. And although I need the exercise, I don’t have to run up and down the sports field with water, sunscreen, and tissues for my kids.

Having reached this conclusion, I suggested we end with a toast. I got a glass of wine and toasted to Me first. “Here’s to agreeing that compromises suck, but they are a necessary evil in every marriage.” Then I toasted to Myself. ”Here’s to children being the greatest gift and responsibility, all at the same time.” I offer one last toast to all moms. “Here’s to all the mothers out there. You’ve given up your bodies, put your dreams on hold, and execute an agenda that would kill a CEO every day. I celebrate you. I salute you.” Every day for the rest of my life I will be a mother. But today, I’m embracing all the pieces of what makes me who I am.

The Mom’s Code: Going Back to School

Somewhere in my motherhood journey, Me, Myself and I became separate players on my personal team. Growing up, I was encouraged to do my best. Overachievement was admired. I worked really hard most of the time and had some pretty good jobs. When I got married, I had to learn to compromise. I’ve never been a fan because true compromise involves giving in, at least partially, on something you care about because it is more important to move forward than to be right, stuck at the top of some pyramid, all alone. Initially, I was horrible at compromising and then big battles with my beloved ensued so I got better at it. I reasoned I have to give some things up for the good of the team.

Learn more about The Moms Code and the tenets of being a happy Mom.

The definition of team got revised when we had kids, four of them, in six years. When they were born, I, as a mom, was born. Things shifted forever and a complete reprioritization drifted down, dressed in the cutest clothes, smelling like baby powder. I was in awe of their complete innocence and total dependence on me. I was determined to be the best mother I could be. They decimated my defenses. I added two dogs into the mix in a moment of weakness and agreed to work from home. Operating in a haze of chaos, I shifted/separated into Me, Myself, and I to cover as many bases as possible in my crazy-paced life.

I rely on my inner compass to make good mom choices but there is a lot of white noise. Last week, my kids had strep throat and the flu, my husband was traveling, I had a work deadline, and there were a lot of shenanigans in one of my kid’s sports caused by a hypercompetitive mom. All three parts of me started to collide and I had to referee the different points of view of Me, Myself and I.

Like The Moms Code on Facebook  Follow The Moms Code on Twitter.  Find us on Instagram.

I said, “I’m the boss here, the leader on the ground. Let’s remember what we signed up for. 

Myself, take a seat over there. You agreed that you would never sleep again. You’re holding down the family. You’re in charge of laundry, dishes, a clean house, groceries and everything else related to the home, including clothes and shoes that fit every growing human in the family. It’s endless and every day. Don’t expect personal hygiene to be important to kids and please work from home so you can morph into a net and catch all the problems that crop up at the house. To keep things interesting, we’ve had food allergies, learning issues, an open heart surgery, crooked teeth, broken bones, and other surprises. And it’s your job to get up with the kids to feed them, nurse them back to health, and talk about their hopes and dreams.”

‘I’ continued, “That’s where we shift it over to Me. 

Those hopes and dreams are your jurisdiction. Me, you were assigned to the kid’s schedules. Sounds easy but it’s a killer. Finding the right schools, doctors, activities and friends. Growing talents and policing the academics is an impossible task. Me, you might feel like you don’t have a lot to work with. Those little humans are filled with flaws and you need a money tree to afford all the activities and sports, never mind dental work. Most of the people in your world are connected with your children in some way, at least for the next eighteen years. You’ve chosen wisely but, Me, please limit the social engineering. The art of using the playdates as a climbing ladder for you and the children is unappetizing. We know it’s a jungle out there in the mom world. Many moms go to great lengths to secure any and every advantage for her child. And stomp on any mom or child that gets in the way of her plan.”

The Moms Code author Eileen Wacker also writes the acclaimed childrens books The Fujimini Adventure Series.  

Me said, “All my hopes and dreams shifted to my children. I’m not sure when this happened. People have asked me many times, ‘What are you hoping for?’  My answer inevitably ends up, ‘I hope my daughter makes the team’ or ‘I hope my son holds it together academically at school’ or ‘I hope my little girl has a happy day at school and someone invites her to something’. This is what happens to all the mom-Mes out there. I never sit and reflect about, “What are my hopes and dreams? What’s in it for ‘Me’? What do I want to accomplish? Because the mom-Mes are reacting to everything thrown in their path.”

‘I’ grew impatient with Me’s soliloquy. “Me, you accepted a long time ago that we needed to prioritize and it was kids first, then marriage, and we would have to give up a few things like our careers and our bodies. We are too deep in this to shift course. We have to keep the train on the tracks, especially with sick kids.”

‘Me’ backpedaled. “I’m not unhappy. But it’s constant, relentless and repeats every day. Of course there are true moments of celebration sprinkled throughout. This is what keeps our hearts so inflated with love. I just want it recognized that this enormous love has exquisite pain associated with it. And, also the puppy has a better haircut than me!”

I laughed and said to Myself, “That reminds me. Keep trying to maintain your sense of humor. Without it, you’re dead. I’m not kidding; keep the lightness, even when you are exhausted, because you are the center of the home.”

Many proud parents just like you appreciate multi-cultural education for your children.  Find this award-winning book series by clicking here. 

Me responded, “Every day at least for a little while, the children are happiness hijackers. They don’t go along with the intricate plans I have painstakingly put in place. How am I supposed to build brilliant, talented, and kind individuals in this complicated, competitive world when kids don’t cooperate at all? The first week of any new schedule is a killer. No one is where they are supposed to be and they are complaining, late and have all the wrong clothes and shoes. Myself is not organized when we have a new schedule. Sorry Myself…”

Myself said, “I gave up everything of myself to gain a different kind of everything. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  I’ve never wanted to trade it. I love the little time bandits. I just get tired sometimes and bone crushing weariness flows through me like a crazy uncontained river. So it takes me a few weeks to get a new normal going in the house every time a new season hits. Back to school is like the gong show, and the holidays, well, I don’t know where to begin.”

Me said quietly, “It’s not fair that I’m expected to pretend everything is perfect and make everything look perfect all the time. I’m not complaining, I’m communicating what it’s like out there for moms. I have no Me time! I need to work out. I need a shower alone in the bathroom with no one banging on the door. I’ve been sitting in this darkened corner for a long time and I need to get out. I want to get dressed up and go somewhere. It doesn’t mean I’m not all in on this parenting thing or that I don’t adore my children. I just feel like I lost me.”

Myself grew reflective. “I sometimes have low moments despite a happy marriage, relatively J nice children, a beautiful home and a nice lifestyle. But sometimes I stand on our balcony and stare at all nature’s beauty and majesty and feel isolated and lonely. How can this be when I have four kids that need me from 6 a.m. until the final meltdown at 8 p.m.?”

I said, “It’s because I miss Myself and Me sometimes and I feel a little sad. But I don’t want to be a princess crying into her chop chae so I put my head down and carry on.”

I continued, “We need to be a support system and sounding board to each other. We’ve had some soul crushing moments caused by unbelievably competitive and underhanded tactics in the mom world that we cannot control or avoid, but we have to stay united. All we can control is our reaction, which is far more positive when we agree certain behaviors are helpful and others are destructive. Let’s agree to a mom’s code and set a few boundaries to simplify things.

1   Stop trying to appear and be perfect and, raise perfect children. Let’s kick perfect to the curb as chasing it is wearing Me out. I’m ditching Whole Food bags as the new designer bags for good moms. Soaring Kraft Mac n Cheese sales let us know that there are a lot of secrets and cover-ups in pantries across America.

2   Lessen the hyper-parenting so Myself gets a little break. The kids can cut their meat, set an alarm, and wait ten minutes to be picked up. And although I need the exercise, I don’t have to run up and down the sports field with water, sunscreen, and tissues for my kids.

Having reached this conclusion, I suggested we end with a toast. I got a glass of wine and toasted to Me first. “Here’s to agreeing that compromises suck, but they are a necessary evil in every marriage.” Then I toasted to Myself. ”Here’s to children being the greatest gift and responsibility, all at the same time.” I offer one last toast to all moms. “Here’s to all the mothers out there. You’ve given up your bodies, put your dreams on hold, and execute an agenda that would kill a CEO every day. I celebrate you. I salute you.” Every day for the rest of my life I will be a mother. But today, I’m embracing all the pieces of what makes me who I am.