21 Things Every Person With a New Baby Is Guilty Of According to Mike Spohr

   After having your first baby, there are certain behaviors that almost every new mom and dad catch themselves doing. Sometimes, new parents don’t even know that they are doing these things but Mike Spohr happily points them out with a humorous list of 21 things all parents with a new baby are guilty of doing. Scroll below to read the Buzzfeed staff writer’s list that almost every parent can relate to!

ONCEKids Publishing is run by literacy advocate and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker.  Click here to find her acclaimed books

1. Trusting some family members more than others to hold your baby

2. Trying to channel your inner photographer and take “artsy” pictures of your baby’s toes and fingers

 3. Poking your baby to make sure they’re still breathing and then pretending it wasn’t you who woke the baby

 4. Taking a while to feel 100% confident when carrying the baby from place to place

 5. Breaking all your social media rules you promised yourself you wouldn’t do before giving birth. You want to post another picture of the baby so bad you can’t resist but you hate yourself for it.

 6. Thinking that your baby has an amazing personality and is smiling at you when they are actually just really gassy

 7. Having those “I can’t do this” meltdowns 

8. Using your baby as an excuse for everything, like not texting back when you really were just on candy crush or playing trivia crack

9. Taking very long baths or showers when you get the rare opportunities 

10. Secretly thinking your baby is the cutest one in the room

 11. Panicking when someone in public sneezes or coughs near your baby

 12. Fantasizing about all the things you are going to do with your baby way in the future

 13. Having to suppress the urge to freak out at people who ask you how much sleep you’ve been getting

 14. Already judging other parents and their kids

 15. Talking about who your baby looks like even though it’s way too early to tell

 16. Really wishing that umbilical stump would just fall off already

 17. Constantly being worried about your baby’s soft spot

18. Tuning out on the advice you’ve already been given 10 times before

 19. Being terrified to cut your baby’s nails

 20. Trying to act much more in control of the situation than you really feel at your baby’s first appointment with the pediatrician 

21. And of course, loving the heck out of your baby more than you knew was possible

ONCEKids Publishing is run by literacy advocate and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker.  Click here to find her acclaimed books

Comedian Jason Good Puts Together a Hilarious List of the Differences Between Raising Your First and Second Kid

Anyone who has had more than one child can vouch for how differently their approach is to the second child versus the first. Every first time parent admits to being a perfectionist and perhaps just a little uptight when it came to their new baby’s food, clothes, room, and so on. But by the time a second child comes along who really cares…just kidding. But parents have definitely learned a thing or two from the first time around and what is important, so often times the second child is approached with a slightly different, little less uptight attitude! Comedian Jason Good sums it up perfectly with a funny, exaggerated list featured in his book “This is Ridiculous, This is Amazing”. 

“Raising Your First vs. Raising Your Second Child”

By Jason Good, Father of two

1. Food

First child: All homemade in special baby-food processor. Quinoa! Spinach! Sweet potatoes!

Second kid: Crackers.

2. Bed

First kid: Crib that Daddy put together himself while Mommy yelled at him.

Second kid: Mommy’s bed. Daddy now has his own room with a mattress on the floor surrounded by dirty socks.

3. Clothes

First kid: One hundred percent organic cotton. Some even made of bamboo? 

Second kid: His brother’s old clothes.

4. Parties

First kid: In our backyard with a piñata hanging from the Japanese maple.

Second kid: Pizza on the floor.

5. Bathing

First kid: Every night in a special bathtub that’s just the right size. Hand-washed with a soft or silky sponge. 

Second kid: Twice a week. Swimming pools count.

6. Nighttime routine

First kid: Swaddled in a Miracle Blanket. “Baby Beluga” sung to him. Asleep by 7:30pm.

Second kid: Falls asleep on the sofa with mom’s breast in his mouth at 10:30pm.

7. Friends

First kid: Playgroups, mommy and baby get-togethers in the park!

Second kid: His brother’s friends.

8. Toys

First kid: All handmade out of wood. Mostly Swedish.

Second kid: The boxes his brother’s toys came out of.

9. Shoes

First kid: Something European with an umlaut in its name.

Second kid: Old muddy shoes with faded umlaut and missing sole insert.

10. Potty training

First kid: Diapers, then some kind of training underwear, then underwear.

Second kid: Might wear a diaper till college.

11. Babysitter

First kid: A wonderful woman named Sarah, whom he loves and will cherish for the rest of his life.

Second kid: Doesn’t have one. We never go out.

ONCEKids Publishing is run by literacy advocate and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker.  Click here to find her acclaimed books

What You'll Know By the End of Your First Year of Motherhood

Every mother-to-be has a certain expectation of how parenting will be and what kind of mother they see themselves as- don't deny it! But by the end of the first year as a mother, every woman knows what no book will ever tell you- some of those expectations turned out to be true, but most didn't. Motherhood is a unique and amazing experience that ultimately cannot be understood until you're actually experiencing it for yourself. So as you begin your journey through this nerve-wracking and exciting stage keep these things in mind:

-It doesn't matter how many books you read

The first thing every parent-to-be needs to accept is that there is no such thing as being 100% prepared to be a parent. Mistakes will be made. Surprises will happen. But you know what? That's okay! You learn as you go and that's the beauty of it! 

-Your body is going to be different in ways you didn't predict

Your postpartum body is going to to be stretched and squishy and it's probably going to make you feel self conscious and embarrassed at times- but cut yourself some slack! You just spent 9 months nurturing and carrying a little person! That right there is a beautiful thing, so don't ever let anything make you feel otherwise.

-Get ready for the unsolicited advice

Don't get me wrong, there are people out there with some fantastic advice that you are desperately going to need and appreciate. Then there are those other people. A lot of people are going to be pouring their parenting styles and techniques on you, whether you ask for

them or not, so prepare yourself to patiently and politely listen, nodding along, and then mentally disregard everything they just said. Other people's babies aren't like yours, so the only people who know exactly what kind of parenting works for your family are you and your husband. 

-Every baby is unique which means each experience will be too

Every baby is their own unique individual (just in a tiny body!) which means that there is is no manual (person or book!) who can tell you exactly what it's going to be like raising your child. It's a stressful, sleep-deprived, scary, beautiful and wonderful time in your life, so buckle up and prepare yourself for the ride, taking one thing at a time and learning as you go!