Puppies, Passwords and Parking - Part 1 of 3

Written by Eileen Wacker

Most days, my husband asks me, “What did you do today?” I think really hard for a minute because I want to list things I accomplished. We left the house at the same time so he knows I drove the kids to school with the new puppy in the crate, but that doesn’t rate as an accomplishment. I hiked and made it home before 9am, carrying the puppy who fought against the leash and then sat, refusing to walk at all. I tried pulling him but dragging the cutest puppy ever as he looked like a confused plush toy being abused by a toddler wasn’t buying me any fans. After the hike, I barely had time to rinse off and no time to wash my hair, all the while watching the puppy christen every rug in the house. Our other dog, Buster Brown, howled and whimpered over the injustices.

Today, like many days, I forgot all my passwords. I needed one for Apple and it was as if I pulled at a thread and everything unraveled. Sounds silly. I should just use the same one for most accounts, right? Have a journal and write them down. I do that. Problem is many require a Capital letter or a number or at least eight characters. So my passwords have evolved into a maze I cannot decipher. When I’m on my desktop the cloud remembers them for me, but my phone or a child needing the Amazon password sinks me. Other moms confess that they can’t remember their passwords either. I have 72 passwords between social media, airlines, shopping sites, email and music accounts, my computer, banks, my business, and more. Those are the ones I remember. I’m sure I have dormant accounts such as retail ones that I use on late night shopping sprees for last minute Christmas gifts. I don’t have a bad memory yet (although my husband claims it is quite selective). It’s that the whole password culture has gotten out of control. I’ve thrown up the white flag on passwords.

Click here for Part 2 of Puppies, Passwords and Parking

Puppies, Passwords and Parking - Part 2 of 3

Written by Eileen Wacker

I have two blogs that I need to write and an article to edit. Puppy training is non-stop but I manage to finish one thing. I try to print and there is no ink or paper. The kids print all their homework out on my work printer in vivid colors so every month at some point I run out of paper and/or ink. I drive to Costco to get more supplies. I have to park in the shade because I have the puppy with me. I see about fifty handicap spots near the entrance and most are empty. Shoot! I end up parking about a mile away. Costco parking lots do not bring out the best in people so I walk carefully, avoiding angry looking drivers.

As I enter Costco, my senses are assaulted by Christmas decorations – it’s only the first week in October. What’s going on? I have a mountain of things to get done before the holidays! I can’t have the holidays thrown at me now. I’m so overwhelmed by the Christmas decorations that I forget to buy the ink. I do buy enough fruit to feed an army although we have never, ever finished a Costco size package of fruit. I’m hungry so I sample the foods and buy the Angus cheeseburgers, granola bars and Saimin noodles. I’m not sure who’s going to eat any of this.

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Puppies, Passwords and Parking - Part 3 of 3

Written by Eileen Wacker

When I return home, our new adorable little puppy morphs into destructo-puppy, when I open the crate. He scampers up the stairs looking like a clumsy rabbit. He pushes through the railing openings, intending to jump down a story. I yell, “stop puppy!” He chews my child’s dirty sock and the chair legs. He even chews the carpet. He bites my feet and barks at me for attention. It’s puppy pandemonium and he is still not house-trained. I put him back in the crate and set off. The kids have three piano lessons, two tennis lessons, one basketball clinic and a tutor. My son ripped another sneaker so I have to replace those. My daughter gets in the car and rants about how terrible clowns are for almost five minutes.  I don’t dare ask how the clowns came up. Instead, I check to see if my ears are bleeding.

I clear the dining room table for homework. My son feels that homework somehow violates his rights and he does not want to spend any more time on it. Everyone wants to play with the new puppy and we still have to vote on his name. The puppy is completely wild, excited to see the kids. He has an accident on my dining room rug. I grab him, push his nose in it, and say, “This is not for puppies. NO!” Then I bring him to his puppy pad and put him on it. My daughter rushes over, picks him up, and says, “Stop being mean to the puppy. Let’s name him Bear.”

It’s six o’clock. The caller ID is my husband. He asks, “Hey Sweetie! What did you do today?” I smile into the phone, not really having any answer. “Nothing much.”

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Nighttime Routine: Offense versus Defense

Written by Eileen Wacker

Most nights, the four kids and I arrive home, exhausted from another busy day. October seems like a long month. Sports, activities, and homework have kicked in and there are no major holiday breaks. I want to use everyone’s time wisely. I really don’t want to yell or berate any of my kids although I could easily come up with a thousand reasons to do so. Food left in the car, forgotten homework, late for a pick-up that made all the other pick-ups late, bickering, and a hundred more. So many things do not go as planned every day that it’s unproductive to dwell on them and instead push through.

I think, “What do I wish someone had said to ‘child me’ in this moment?” and I channel that big picture approach. What will motivate them to do their homework and get ready for another big day tomorrow?

Here are the Top 5 things I wish someone had said to ‘child me’ as I approached another night of dreaded homework and school routine.

#1 Take a risk on your interpretation of Whirlygig or the Merchant of Venice or whatever book you are reading. Think outside of the box and look at the other side. Then prepare to defend your idea. Knowing what the majority will say strengthens your premise. If you can argue both sides reasonably well, you can argue your own points even better.

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#2 Plan to do something unexpected tomorrow. After you complete all your homework, look up a cool Spanish phrase. Approach your teacher before class and tell her the phrase. It will make her day. It shows that you are invested in the class and motivated to learn.

#3 Be memorable. Compliment someone, state an opinion, be happy (it’s contagious), or just be a little louder than usual. People are attracted to interesting people. And every child is interesting. But many times, they don’t show it. We need to encourage them, especially when we are dragging them through an assignment, like studying for a spelling test. Ask them, “Which word is the coolest word on the list?” and “Which word should be thrown in jail for being so boring?” They will absolutely remember these words on the quiz tomorrow.

#4 Be kind to someone, especially a sibling. Under roofs across America, there is too much bickering among siblings. They say mean things to each other and, if tone police existed, most children would be arrested. Home should be a safe place where kids are comfortable and find support. But it is also a safe place to express frustration over a tough day. It’s a fine balance of allowing them to vent, but not at each other.

ONCEKids Publishing is run by literacy advocate and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker.  Click here to find her acclaimed books

#5 Remember to be an observer of things. Notice something. The most innovative people are ones who notice and embrace changes. This evolves into seeking out changes and finally starting to create them. Children have this natural inclination. We just have to nourish it.

We are building too many little robots today with all the pressure on them and on us, the parents. I want to teach my four kids to live life with more offense than defense. Have you ever seen a football team with a big lead that doesn’t want to lose? So they start to play safe, make conservative calls. They lose their energy. Yes defense if critical, but childhood should involve parents rooting them on as they play offense. Because we all know we are constantly on defense!

Is Drop Off Etiquette Realistic?

Written by Eileen Wacker

It’s only a month into the new school year and I’m stressed out by the end of most days. Getting kids up and out in the morning is a grind. Yes, we lay our clothes out, have our backpacks in the entryway, have all the clothes, equipment, notebooks and other essentials ready for their million activities. I make a healthy breakfast for each of my four kids who get up the first time I say in my sweetest voice ever, “Good morning! It’s time to get up angels!”

ONCEKids Publishing is run by literacy advocate and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker.  Click here to find her acclaimed books

I’M KIDDING! This never happens. It’s a gong show most mornings. If there is something in their stomachs and they are wearing shoes, it’s a pretty good start. The next goal is to get them to school on time with all the work they did actually in their backpacks. They fight over who sits where in the minivan and who positioned their backpack on purpose to touch the sibling’s leg. As we enter the rush hour traffic, my daughter announces that she wants to be a vegetarian. I apologize to her and tell her she will have to wait until college. It’s simply too inconvenient for a family of six to accommodate a vegetarian at this moment. Every one of them has some protest and the only way to quiet them is to let them stare at their phones and ignore the world around them, which includes me. Since I can’t bear to be the ignored taxi driver, I usually take the verbal battles, but I’m weary as we reach the school campus.

As I pull in, I fall in line with the other moms.  I tell my kids to have the best day ever and please do their best work. They look cute again and innocent as they get out of the car with their giant backpacks. They usually smile and wave.  I treasure this. Then, I spy ‘cutter mom’ pushing her way in and ‘trapper mom’ not letting anyone exit after the drop off. The first week we all expect chaos as we try and understand the rules. But by week four, please do not drive, staring straight ahead, sipping your coffee, pretending you have no idea there is any protocol.

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We can’t do anything about the traffic and morning routine chaos, but we can follow simple etiquette to make things move more smoothly on campus. It helps all of our moods too. I don’t want to caffeinate a bad mood!

Moms, Let's Choose People Over Sweaters

Written by Eileen Wacker

As all our kids go back to their fall routines, a mom’s life gets complicated. My routine is a combination of my four children’s calendars loaded on my shoulders. The final result is always a modernist work of art. In other words- messy, confusing to those who view it, and something other moms know is a thing of beauty. I’ve chased down the right club teams for my kids, the right voice and piano teachers, a tutor to get ready for standardized tests, and more. I’m fighting the good fight about electronic usage and dress code with my kids. In short, I’m riding a wave of peak chaos that unfolds with every school year.

ONCEKids Publishing is run by literacy advocate and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker.  Click here to find her acclaimed books

This is why I’m vulnerable right now. I’ve done all I can to get a good schedule in place for my kids, and, for better or worse, it’s done. Now my challenge is to get the kids to own it and stay on it.

Other moms could help me out by observing a few ground rules that are in line with the mom’s code (a bro code for moms).

#1) People over sweaters and shopping bags. At the school events, if we could hold ‘saving seats’ to a minimum, things would go a lot more smoothly. Why can’t I sit in the seat? I don’t think there are any sweater rights groups that would protest this bold new move. And please don’t bring tripods to every event to tape your child.

#2) If you put it out there, you have to share. When my kids were little and had play dates, I would tell them, “If there are a few special things you don’t want anyone else to play with, we can leave them in the closet. Everything else gets shared.” Moms, please don’t brag excessively about your super awesome, wonderful, and up-until-now secret schedule. I can’t change mine and I was perfectly happy with it until you told me about the fabulous tutors/coaches/etc. you found BUT they don’t want you to give out their information. Of course they don’t want to expand their business base! Come on moms! If you talk about it, you should share.

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#3) No measuring please. It would really helpful if the classrooms on back-to-school night did not contain reading stars and leveled multiplication charts hung on every wall. Then the inevitable question, “My daughter Emily went to an accelerated math camp this summer and she really needs to be working above grade level. I’m sure other kids are in this same situation.” Not mine. I wish we could stick with art on the walls. I can handle it if my child is not the best artist. I can even crack a joke. But with academics, my eyes drift over and I look at where my child is stacking up. It’s like a parent report!

I love when my kids are back in school but let’s try to keep the competition reasonable. I promise to do my best.

Thumbs down on Halloween

Written by Eileen Wacker

We are still in the middle of back to school nights, sports are ramping up and homework is starting to roll in. I feel like I’m losing time because every store I go into already has Halloween decorations and candy. Since I have four kids, I really love and embrace holidays as a chance to celebrate and create happy childhood memories.

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I’m going to make a confession. I don’t like Halloween. Orange and black with a hint of green don’t go together for me as a kid color palette. They are perfect for a tiger. Too harsh and scary for little kids. And I don’t like pumpkin carving at all. There are tools for sale at every store and almost every classroom across the U.S. holds a pumpkin carving event. My son summed up the insides of a pumpkin quite correctly, “Pumpkin guts are gross!” Ninety percent of the mush gets thrown away and then the trash smells. Room moms count on dads taking a half day off to come in and help carve the pumpkins. The kids are not carving them. So the dads either ask the mom to fill in for this gruesome task or enter into a massively competitive pumpkin carving war with each other.

ONCEKids Publishing is run by literacy advocate and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker.  Click here to find her acclaimed books

The night of Halloween, my children attempt to collect massive amounts of candy. I don’t mind the sweets. And, there are two elements of Halloween that I adore. I love homemade costumes and that my child can be anyone he wants to be for that day. I also love the ‘pause for humanity’ when a porch light on signifies an individual is behind his or her door waiting with a smile, compliment and a treat for every neighbor or stranger who knocks. I also find Jimmy Kimmel’s annual video of children’s responses to their parent’s telling them they ate all of their Halloween candy to be hilarious.