How to Initiate Productive Family Meetings

Now that the summer is winding down and school is around the corner for some and already here for others, there are going to be lots of changes in family dynamics, schedules, and routines. With all the changes, many parents see it best to sit their families down and host a family meeting. Holding a family meeting allows parents to communicate the upcoming changes as well as expectations for each of the children, while giving the children an opportunity to voice their opinions and desires for the new routine. 

Family meetings are important and effective when there is going to be a change in schedules but they are also helpful and very beneficial to have on a weekly or monthly basis throughout the school year. Hosting a weekly or monthly family meeting helps to strengthen the family bond, bring everyone closer together, and communicate more effectively. The mutual support and understanding that stems from these meetings brings more harmony, love and respect among members of the family. 

ONCEKids Publishing is run by literacy advocate and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker.  Click here to find her acclaimed books

Despite family meetings being both important and beneficial, that does not mean they are easy to initiate or host. With everyone’s busy and changing schedules, having the time or ability to have your entire family sit down for a family meeting can be a rare or daunting task. For these reasons, it is crucial to know the best strategies for planning and implementing productive, efficient meetings. Dr. Barton Goldsmith from Psychology Today provides ten key strategies for hosting the best, most beneficial family meeting possible. He reminds readers to remember that all families are unique, so be creative and add or tweak rules as fitted to your family’s needs.

1. Keep it up-beat

Start the meeting by asking everyone how their week was and the best thing that happened in school. Don’t be afraid to use your sense of humor and laugh together, communication is easier when everyone is having a good time. Try and keep it light whenever possible, especially at the beginning!

2. Don’t try to control participation

Let everyone in the family join in when they have something to say, but don’t force participation and avoid putting people on the spot. Don’t use the words mandatory or required when asking teens to participate in the meeting, that may cause tension and spoil the atmosphere right from the beginning. Instead, invite them to participate and even if they decline, chances are they will join after a few minutes just to see what they are missing. 

3. Encourage each member of the family to join the meeting

Although it is good to avoid putting family members on the spot, use positive encouragement to try and get everyone to join in and voice their feelings or opinions. If one member is not talking, Dr. Goldsmith suggests using some gentle questioning to get him or her to open up. This can even be as simple as asking, “What was the best thing that happened to you this week?” 

4. Be creative with meeting space

Find a place in your home where everyone is comfortable and everyone can see one another. A kitchen or dining room table is a great spot for meetings. If things may get tense at the house, a fun, public place may be a better location for a meeting- such as a pizza parlor or the local miniature golf course. If you choose a busy, fun location keep in mind that it may be harder to keep family members on track with the conversation. 

5. Give everyone a chance to to lead the meeting

Giving each of the children a chance to lead the conversation and voice their opinions will make them feel validated as well as realize that their think matters. Making each family members’ opinions, thoughts, and feelings important will make everyone leave the meeting feeling happier and like they benefitted from the experience. Also, writing down a list of each members’ contributions as well as the agreed upon goals will be a great way to refer back to the main points of the meeting later on and remember all that was discussed.

6. Be creative with your agenda

Having some goals set for the meeting ahead of time is important, but being flexible with how the meeting goes is key to making it work. Kids tend to have a low boredom threshold, so if the meeting is too much like school, they make mentally check out halfway through. 

Some examples of potential family meeting topics include:

A. What happened last week

B. What happening this week as well as future plans

C. Money related issues

D. Questions/comments about anything that anyone needs to talk about 

7. End each meeting with a fun experience

Ending the meeting with a fun event will not only encourage everyone to attend and participate, but also make the children more likely to actually look forward to the meetings instead of dread them. Doing something fun also doesn’t need to involve going out of spending money, it can mean a special dessert, a movie night, or a game night. If everyone does want to go out, consider doing something like going bowling, going out for ice-cream, or going to the movies. Plan the experience as a family and remind the kids that if they don’t get to do what they wanted this time, there is always next week. This way, no one will get upset and it provides a lesson for teaching the children about patience. 

8. Help each other resolve any issues

Dr. Goldsmith reminds us that family meetings are purposed as a bonding tool for teaching as well as inspiring everyone that being close as a family is the best thing for everyone concerned. Talk issues out until they are resolved, or at least until everyone politely agrees to disagree. Explaining your decisions to your children and getting support is important in teaching children about fairness and about being a family. Point out areas where there have been difficulties, but don’t be punitive.

9. Consult a therapist if/when necessary

If you and your spouse are having trouble navigating some of the deeper issues, do not be afraid to consult a professional. Most families struggle with communication sometimes or have moments of difficultly, being comfortable getting advice when needed will make life a lot easier!

10. Remember that its never to late to become closer as a family

Dr. Goldsmith saves this one for last to point out that it is critical to never give up on making your family work as a team and that the only way to fail is to not try at all. 

Dr. Goldsmith believes that parents have two jobs, to teach their children how to love and to teach them how to live without their parents. He firmly believes that family meetings with help parents to accomplish both of these. According to him, trying for a weekly family meeting will be one of the highest return investments you will ever make! 

To maximize effective communication and harmony within the household, consider making a weekly or monthly family meeting your “back to school resolution”! 

Parents, what additional strategies do you use to ensure your family meeting goes smoothly and productively? Comment below with your additions and suggestions! 

ONCEKids Publishing is run by literacy advocate and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker.  Click here to find her acclaimed books

10 Strategies For Surviving a Family Road Trip

The end of July and August are the most popular times of the year for parents to take time off from work and go on a vacation with their family. However, this doesn’t mean that every family will be flying to their destinations (which opens up a host of its own challenges)- but for many families, this means a road trip. Perhaps road trips were fun and exciting when you were 22 and going with all your friends, but some parents would call a road trip with all your children in a packed car something out of a horror movie.

ONCEKids Publishing is run by literacy advocate and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker.  Click here to find her acclaimed books

No matter what, the road trip probably won’t be an experience you would call amazingly fun and exciting or something you’ll want to do again right away, but there are strategies you can take to ease some of the stress and chaos and make the trip at least bearable. Some of these strategies involve planning and completion ahead of time, and the others are for when the road trip is in progress. 

For the days leading up to the road trip:

1. Check the weather

Bad weather can make a road trip extra stressful, even without kids, so put a car full of kids and bad weather together and you’ve got yourself a nightmare road trip. At the beginning of the week be sure to check the weather forecast and see how the weather is going to be on the day of your trip. If it is going to pour, leave a day earlier or leave the day after you planned because, I promise, it is not worth it to drive through a storm in order to be there on schedule. 

2. Pack a cooler of easy to eat and not too messy snacks

Emphasis on the not too messy part! Having a cooler filled with snacks and refreshments will keep kids from wanting to make unnecessary stops or continuously whining that they are hungry. And they are there for when you get hungry too! Great road trip snacks include goldfish, apple slices, cheese, and juice boxes. 

3. Perfect your “you better stop doing what you’re doing” face 

Having the ability to communicate your expectations with a single look is an art that seems to be perfected by mothers. This skill becomes extra important when you’re up in the passenger seat or driving and can’t take your eyes off the road for longer than a split second- or when you just don’t have the energy to yell or lecture. Bonus points for being able to do it in the rearview mirror!

4. Charge all electronics

This one is super important because if the technology and entertainment dies and the children are bored- you’ll be the one paying for it! The night before the road trip, make sure that all portable DVD players, kindles, iPads, cell phones, ect are plugged in and charging.

5. Make sure headphones are packed 

Not only make sure some headphones are packed, make sure enough headphones for each child are packed because, trust me, you do not want the kids fighting over who gets to use them. Forgetting headphones would also mean that you have to listen to their movies or music the whole ride too instead of your own, and that will probably put a damper on the trip.

For when the road trip is in progress:

1. Don’t stress

This may sound impossible, but try as best you can to not get overwhelmed and let the little things bother you. The trip will probably not go entirely as planned or be easy every second, but it is important to go with the flow! Remember, you are on your way to your vacation!  

2. Forget about potty training: bring extra diapers

Even if your toddler is doing a pretty good job with their potty training or fully potty trained, forget the lessons and just throw on a diaper or pull-up. You’ll be glad you did when your 20 miles from the nearest rest stop and your child says they need to go like, immediately. 

3. Master the art of peeing on the side of the road (for you or the kids…)

Sometimes rest stops can be few and far between, and every parent knows when a child has to go to the bathroom, they cannot wait. For those of you who have children too old to put a diaper on, get ready to have to pull over. From what I have read, the best thing to do is pull over so your car is completely off the road, on top of a hill if possible to decrease visibility, open both passenger side doors, and have your child stand or squat between the doors. If your child doesn’t feel comfortable doing that- they are just gonna have to get over it or hold it!

4. Do your best to ignore them

Kids and long car rides do not mix well. They are probably going to annoy the heck out of you at certain points, but do your best to resist giving in or lashing out because that will just make things worse. Just put in your favorite CD, turn it up, and tune them out! 

5. Have some “road trip games” ready

The classic road trip games may have lost their popularity since the increase in technology, but they can still be a great bonding experience and provide some technology-free entertainment. If the kids are in a good mood, and you’re in a good mood, give some of these road trip games a try. 

ONCEKids Publishing is run by literacy advocate and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker.  Click here to find her acclaimed books

Harvard Psychologists Give Their Six Tips to Raising Kind Children

A group of psychologists at Harvard recently did a study to examine how parents can raise kind and “good” children in the madness of modern day society. People who are raising children today experience many criticisms and conclusions made by others of how technology and social media is ruining children and parents are constantly feeling like they need to change their strategies and reshape their parenting styles to accommodate the continuous advancements. But to those parents- worry no more! The results of the study have the Harvard psychologists saying that underneath the madness of modern technology, the basics of raising a good, kind, and moral child haven’t really changed. 

In today’s world, parents focus on raising children to find success and achievement as well as personal satisfaction and happiness- but the psychologists conclude that it is still possible to raise children to be goal-oriented while still raising them to be kind and empathetic people using the same strategies parents have been using for generations.

ONCEKids Publishing is run by literacy advocate and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker.  Click here to find her acclaimed books

Their study’s results show that these six “tried-and-true” strategies remain the best ways to raise kind, understanding, and goal-oriented children in the modern world:

1. Spend time hanging out with your kids

The importance of this will never decrease. Spending time with your children and showing them their importance is the foundation that all the rest can build on. Asking children questions about themselves, showing interest and understanding of their world, telling them about your world, and just demonstrating caring is so important to raising children who will do the same for others. 

2. If it matters, say it out loud

The psychologists report, “Even though most parents and caretakers say that their children being caring is a top priority, often children aren’t hearing that message.” Remember that children don’t always pick up on cues and don’t assume they know your expectations and what you think is important. Communicate those things openly and honestly to your children. Make sure you tell them how important kindness, openness, acceptance, and caring is and they will be much more likely to demonstrate those qualities. 

3. Teach your child how to “work it out”

It is important for parents to help guide children and offer advice, without always stepping in to solve their problems for them. Children who learn problem solving and decision making are not only better at solving their own issues, but also helping others solve problems. Encourage children to identify the source of the problem, evaluate the pros and cons, think about how their decision affects others, and move forward with a solution. 

4. Make helpfulness and gratitude routine

According to the Harvard researchers, “Studies show that people who engage in the habit of expressing gratitude are more likely to be helpful, generous, compassionate, and forgiving- and they’re also more likely to be happy and healthy.” Parents can encourage helpfulness and gratitude by asking children to help out siblings, assigning daily or weekly chores, and reminding them to give thanks throughout the day. 

5. Check your child’s destructive emotions

No children are perfect or never experience negative feelings or emotions. The trick is to help children learn to work through those emotions and keep them in check. This can be done by talking to your children and guiding them to a safe and productive conflict resolution. 

6. Show your kids the bigger picture

The researchers report that “almost all children empathize with and care about a small circle of families and friends. The trick is getting them to care about people who are socially, culturally and even geographically outside their circles. You can do this by coaching them to be good listeners, by encouraging them to put themselves in other people’s shoes, and by practicing empathy using teachable moments in the news and entertainment.” 

Read more about Harvard University’s “Making Caring Common Project” here

ONCEKids Publishing is run by literacy advocate and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker.  Click here to find her acclaimed books

The Five Back to School Essentials for a Stress-Free Transition

After a busy but carefree summer the transition back to school can stir up some anxiety in your child. It is well-known by many parents that after being settled in a routine for a long period of time, changing to a new routine can be chaos. With some help from mother and author Chynna Laird, I have put together a list of strategies to help the whole family ease into the back to school routine as stress-free as possible. 

ONCEKids Publishing is run by literacy advocate and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker.  Click here to find her acclaimed books

1. Talk about it

A few weeks in advance, start to have a few discussions about the summer coming to a close and starting a new year at school. Start with a short, vague discussion to get it on their radar but as it gets closer to their first day of school have a more detailed discussion. Minimize anxiety by minimizing any surprises.

2. Make a calendar

Your child can keep track of how many days left till school if it is clearly marked on a calendar. Put it in an area that everyone sees everyday, like the kitchen. This will help him or her feel some control over getting prepared and be able to visualize a timeline. Make it fun by having a countdown so your child can feel excited about starting a new year of school!

3. Slowly ease back into the school-year routine

Going from the summer routine one night into the full blow school year routine the next is too confusing and stressful for kids, inviting high levels of anxiety and meltdowns. A few weeks in advance, start to slowly take away the summer freedoms and apply some school year routine restrictions. For example, start to reduce their bedtime a little each week in the leading weeks up to their first day and if you have late sleepers, start to wake them up a little earlier so the first day isn’t a shock to their system. 

4. Make back to school shopping a family affair

Kids are always excited about getting new stuff, even if its a backpack and folders. Making back to school shopping a family outing will give the kids something to look forward to and can potentially be a fun family activity- even for you, (okay I said potentially)! So have everyone grab their lists and head to the nearest Staples at least a week before the first day of school, if not more. 

5. Do NOT save anything for the last minute

Referencing the last sentence in #4: head to the nearest Staples at least a week before the first day of school. This applies to all back to school anything. Make sure to plan well and stay organized because back to school time is hectic. Double check they have all their clothes, supplies, bus schedules, teachers, and whatever else they may need with plenty of time for last minute changes. 

Back to school time can be stressful for both you and the kids, but you can minimize anxiety and make it a more enjoyable experience for all parties involved by planning, organizing, talking, and managing your time well. If you do all those things, back to school can be a fun and exciting experience for the kids. 

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