What Every Mom Yearns For

Written by Guest Blogger

Zainab Sulemanjee

Eileen Wacker, a Harvard Business graduate and author, pours her heart out in “The Moms Code”. The book provides great insights into the lives of working mothers who hardly live for themselves and recommends activities essential to the mental and spiritual wellbeing of a mother.  

Learn more about The Moms Code.  Like The Moms Code on Facebook  Follow The Moms Code on Twitter.  Find on Instagram.

Eileen stresses the importance of a girls night out every once in a while. Since working moms are constantly under tremendous domestic and work pressure, they need to unwind and relax with their girlfriends. Not only is a working mother continuously dealing with numerous responsibilities, commitments and criticism throughout the day, but also multitasking as her many roles demand. This time out provides a mom with the perfect therapeutic opportunity to speak out her mind, voice her concerns, and most importantly, be herself. I can relate. A few days back, my kids had exams, I was hosting guests from abroad, preparing for my sister’s wedding and had workload of writing assignments, I felt on the verge of nervous breakdown. My best friend became my savior. One evening, she dropped by my place with tickets to a movie I wanted to see and dragged me out of my house. A delicious dinner over a wholesome chat, made me understand that a few hours out just to myself was all I needed.

Eileen says that women have to save each other at different points in time.  All moms, particularly working moms are playing multiple roles: wife, mother, homemaker, and career woman. It’s a challenge to maintain your own identity and sanctity throughout it all. All these commitments may break us down at some point in time, so it is essential that we all be there for one another in times of need and difficulty. And helping without the expectation of a reward or a similar act of kindness, but be nice to other moms simply because you are the best person who can relate to them. By being available and kind to others, we are enhancing the core values in our child. He/she will be a better human being so that the circle of love and kindness can continue.

Many proud parents just like you appreciate multi-cultural education for your children.  Written by the same author as The Moms Code, find the childrens book series by clicking here.

Another part of Eileen’s mom’s code is to advocate politely. For me, this means lessening differences among moms due to unnecessary involvement and obsession in their children’s activities. Feelings of competitiveness and rivalry can flare up in such situations through hyper parenting. We need to positively tackle this issue. When my eldest started school, I was constantly in touch with other moms to determine whether my son was on par with other kids in his class. In fact I became so obsessed that I started following each and every activity of a child who was excelling in class. Whatever he did, I made sure my son attempted it, whatever activity he enrolled in, I followed. Finally, my nosy intervention resulted in an argument with the child’s mom. Later, I realized I was wrong and apologized. I was caught up but don’t want to be the constantly comparing mom so I’m working on pushing down the urge when it surfaces.

I am a mom of three who juggles raising kids, running the house, and my writing career, I can very well identify and relate to Eileen’s stance on how the mental, physical, spiritual and emotional upliftment is necessary for a woman. I yearn for a weekend break in a silent and serene environment which not only provides me with a rejuvenating feeling but also reignites the zeal to pursue my domestic and career obligations with greater enthusiasm. However, despite this I too go through difficult and stressful phases, where juggling home and work becomes tiresome. Here my female coworkers, peers and particularly my family provide me with undeterred support and cooperation.

Advocate Politely

By Kenna McHugh

Guest Blogger

Bettina Bush’s interview with Eileen Wacker hit a heartstring because when my daughter was born I wanted her to be the shining star in every class and in every program because she is my shining star. I am sure all moms feel that way.

I can relate to what Eileen is saying. Being a mom you don’t want to be too pushy or too overbearing. But, if you don’t say something, then what? Somebody needs to speak up for the child, and it might as well be their mom.  

Learn more about The Moms Code.  Like The Moms Code on Facebook  Follow The Moms Code on Twitter.  Find on Instagram.

I am not saying turn on the drama because I know that doesn’t work. But, how can a mom approach a situation with a coach, teacher or director in an effective way?

One time I didn’t feel comfortable approaching my daughter’s ballet teacher because she didn’t make it easy. She wouldn’t even look at me, and if I got her attention I felt a chasm between us, and I couldn’t reach her.  I want to scream. “Why are you ignoring my daughter during class? How can she improve if you don’t help her?”

I know screaming would not have helped. I was really frustrated because my daughter was not happy.  So, we left the studio.  I ask myself, “Should I have handled it differently?”  I don’t think so.

I remember a time when a mom did turn on her drama.  I wish she had taken a more logical approach to matter because she was absolutely right in her situation, but turning on the drama did not help her get her point across. It only made her look bad and made matters worse.  

The Moms Code author Eileen Wacker also writes the acclaimed childrens books The Fujimini Adventure Series.  Many proud parents just like you appreciate multi-cultural education for your children.  Find the book series by clicking here.

The mom felt her daughter should have been given a solo dance because she had been with the studio for 8 years, she hadn’t had a solo yet, and it was her time to shine.  She was absolutely right.

Adding to that, she was so furious, and spoke in such an angry tone telling the director that she was favoring students and not allowing her daughter to shine. This upset the director, who started telling parents about her drama, which was not okay and brought everyone down.  My daughter and I decided we needed to leave the studio because of all the drama. It was counterproductive. To this day, the studio is struggling to stay open. Like Eileen said in the radio interview, it is exhausting and brings everyone down.    

With these two situations, I believe that institutions that are working with the children should take responsibility in handling moms or parents when it comes to these matters.  On the other spectrum, moms need to learn to communicate in a logical way to coaches, teachers and directors to get their point across effectively.