Moms Code Chronicles #2: Mom Misdemeanors

Written by Eileen Wacker

My 13 year-old son was recently cast as a series regular in an upcoming show. He is the third of my four children. The role requires relocation to LA from Honolulu, with almost no notice. We sent him through the entire audition process, knowing this could be a possibility, but never thought through how we would manage if it actually happened. My husband and I are running for our lives trying to get a million things done, including finding an apartment, getting the school situation tamped down, and preparing our family for what will become our new normal. Because my husband, three other kids and two dogs will remain in Honolulu and we will all do a lot of commuting back and forth. Sigh.

It’s almost his last day in his current school, which is a great school. So emotions are running high. I’m determined to focus on the positive during this transition. I’m paying attention to every detail so I leave everything in the best shape possible. The truth is if my four kids knew how many situations I handle on the spot, unplanned, they would have trouble sleeping at night, just like me. Take parent conferences, teacher development days, or the sports meetings for tryouts. I want to remember all these dates, but just like passwords, they somehow they slip my mind. Plus, the kids’ appointments are endless. And, schedules with tutors and coaches are constantly shifting. I handle most of the routine on the fly, and rely on mom interactions as a part of my ‘reminder system’. I put things on the phone calendar, but it only beeps me when the actual event is upon me. 

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Moms need other moms. I can’t write a one-page summary for someone that would keep the hot mess express on track! I have to keep moving fast to handle everything that is thrown in my path. I will have to rely on my Honolulu mom network and then build an LA-based one too.

This morning, I had to turn away as my tween tied his sneakers. My impatience is justifiable. He spends more time tying his shoes than on his entire daily hygiene. He smiles and says, “Mom you’re way too uptight about the whole brushing teeth and using soap thing.” I remind my teen daughter to bring her stuff for the track team tryouts. She tells me, “I’ve decided to skip the tryouts. I don’t want to make the time commitment right now.” I feel a sarcastic remark trying to come out. “Oh? Right now? During junior year, when it counts? Tell me. If you could bring your phone and take Selfies and text while you run, would you tryout?” She’s been training and on the team for years, even went to Nike Running Camp last summer. My mom’s pain is exquisite as I assess how to apply mommy marketing to this scenario.

Before I can start to threaten and cajole, my little girl comes down the stairs in tears. She can’t find her shirt for today’s rehearsal and tonight’s choir performance. I washed and cleaned the choir shirt last night and watched it walk up the stairs, but now she can’t find it. I can’t stand tears on any day, never mind a performance day. I hug her and say, “We need to go but I’ll find it. It’s going to be fine.” She shakes her head. “Miss Leighton said that we need to have a good night’s sleep, our shirt for the 7:30rehearsal, and a good breakfast. I’m going to get in trouble.” My youngest is a gentle soul who has never been in trouble, but deeply dreads the thought of it. Clowns and choir teachers have an amazing ability to instill fear in children.

The morning is totally off kilter. It’s not unusual but it never gets easier. We leave late and a massive ‘cave in’ occurs. I stop at the Burger King drive thru for breakfast. My son is fist pumping the air. “Mom, they have French fries and cheeseburgers all day. Can I get a large fry, two plain cheeseburgers and a Sprite. I love today.” I yell, “No soda!” like it will magically make this breakfast healthier. My little girl doesn’t want to eat because she doesn’t have her shirt. She says, “An Orange Fanta would make me feel better.” 

ONCEKids Publishing is run by literacy advocate and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker.  Click here to find her acclaimed books

My teen daughter says, “This family is so embarrassing! I don’t want to get out of the car with a Burger King bag. Is there a Whole Foods bag somewhere in this car? At least eat a breakfast, not cheeseburgers and fries, people!” She points at her little sister. “Your teeth are going to be orange in your choir performance F.Y.I.!” She continues her astute teen observations. “Fine! I’ll have the ham and cheese croissandwich thing with the mocha drink thingie and some tater tots.” Her brother argues, “tater tots are no better than fries and the Mocha Frappe has more sugar than a Sprite.” I check to see if my ears are bleeding. I mentally push all the chaos to the side. I say to my little girl, “I swear that I will find your shirt and drive it to you. Please eat this ham and cheese croissant. You can have an Orange Fanta.” 

They jump out of the minivan. My son is dancing on air with his BK bag; my two daughters are trudging along as if they are condemned felons.

I skip my work out and go home. As I’m walking in the door, the school nurse calls to tell me that Miss Leighton, the choir teacher, sent my little girl from the choir rehearsal, concerned that she just wasn’t herself. She’s tired, upset about a missing shirt, and has a stomachache. Is it true that she only had Orange Fanta for breakfast? 

Stress breaks over me like an unruly wave. I run upstairs and find her shirt under the stuffed tiger she still sleeps with, grab a lunch box and head to Subway. I get a plain turkey sandwich, which I take out of the packaging and put in a plastic baggie. I get milk as the drink. I run into the supermarket and get prepackaged carrots and some little cuties. I buy a Hershey bar and zipper it into the hidden side pouch. I’m determined to deliver a good mother lunch/snack and give my little girl a surprise treat to cheer her up.

I pick up my teen daughter a half hour late from school. She’s very upset and says, “I have a ton of homework and will be up all night, then I’ll fall asleep in study hall and someone will take a photo of me sleeping and post it up on social media. Then everyone will make fun of me and make comments like RIP. It will be total humiliation.” I’ve been milking a Starbuck Iced latte all day and never seemed to have enough time to finish it. I offer it to her. 

“This is the worst day ever,” she replies.  

I get everyone home and lament I’m headed to the choir performance in the same faded sundress I put on at 6 a.m.. When I get there, I see so many moms that I like. My husband slips in at the last possible second and holds my hand. The kids come out and sing like angels. My little girl searches the crowd and is so happy to see me. In seventh grade, she still wants me around. There is no place I’d rather be. 

We get home to the other three kids fighting. No one has fed the two dogs. The kitchen is a mess. The TV is on and no one is doing homework. I yell, “I committed about five mom misdemeanors today and I’m tired. I have an article due. Please stop fighting over who has the right to enter whose room.” The TV ad talks about the best part of waking up. A mom is standing alone on a boat dock savoring her cup of coffee, looking serene and relaxed. I yell, “This is false advertising! No mom I know ever sits and savors a morning cup of coffee. It takes me all day to finish my cup, as I’m putting out constant fires! Is her house burning down behind her? If not, it’s not real!”

My son says, “Mom go in your room for two minutes. We have a surprise for you.” My teen comes in to find me and says, “Hurry!” All the kids are laughing. My little girl says, “Chewie volunteered to help you with your article! Now do you love today?” I look at my kids, laugh out loud and say honestly, “Yes, I absolutely love today.”

Adorable Boy Sends Hilarious Message to Teachers in This Video

I cannot think of a cuter or funnier way to send a positive message about school and learning to teachers and students then through this video. 

The impossibly adorable boy lights up the screen with his funny but wise words about going back to school and how to make this year count. If everyone watched this incredibly insightful pep talk before going to school, learning would have a whole new meaning. 

Click below to watch the video: 

ONCEKids Publishing is run by literacy advocate and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker.  Click here to find her acclaimed books

Teacher Explains to Parents the Importance of Letting Children Fail

While growing up or raising a child, most people came across a parent or two who “helped” their child a little too much on their homework assignments. But it seems these days, with schools becoming increasingly competitive and children having larger amounts of work that some parents’ help has gone far beyond assisting them with their science fair volcano. 

It’s good that parents are highly motivated to help their children succeed but is that actually what they are doing? Sure it is getting their kids straight A’s in elementary school but how much is it benefitting them in the long run? 

Jessica Lahey, an elementary school teacher, wrote a blog on this issue, sharing a startling discovery she had made with a parent of one of her students. After finding the paper this girl had submitted was plagiarized, she called the student’s mother to share her findings and explain that the girl would be receiving a zero on the assignment. Her mother, furiously informed Ms. Lahey that she couldn’t do that because her daughter didn’t do anything wrong- that the mother in fact had written the paper. She defended herself saying her daughter had been stressed and the mother didn’t want her to get sick or overwhelmed. But in the end, the student received a zero anyway and had to re-write the paper- by herself. So  at the end of the day, the mother’s attempts to help her daughter by doing her work for her benefitted her in no way.  

It is stories like these that have raised concern and resulted in a tremendous amount of research being done into the concept known as “overparenting.” Overparenting is described as a parents’ misguided attempts to improve their child’s future and shelter them from harm or failure. It can be everything from small scale examples like not allowing their child to get their license when they turn 16 or bringing separate dishes to parties because he’s a picky eater to large scale over parenting like writing their college essay for them and not allowing them to get a job. 

Unfortunately, while it may work out in the short term, it often actually causes harm in the long run. A child who is raised to feel helpless and powerless will most likely experience tremendous anxiety and stress as they enter the real world. Bills, rent, tests, jobs, and homework will overwhelm them. Failure will crush them. The chronic anxiety and depression felt by many of our 18-22 year olds comes from being sheltered and babied for much, if not all, of their childhood.  

ONCEKids Publishing is run by literacy advocate and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker.  Click here to find her acclaimed books

It is the large scale over parenting that worries researchers and educators- because it’s the kind of over parenting that can actually cause damage to a child’s education, independence, happiness, and future. 

Parents who rush to school to deliver forgotten lunches, call the teacher demanding a better grade on their child’s paper, do their work for them, or let their child stay home if they have a headache are creating children without a sense of responsibility and with a sense of entitlement.

As difficult as it can be to watch your child fail, it is critical to their long-term well being that children discover the natural consequences of their actions. Ms. Lahey isn’t suggesting that parents blindly trust teachers and don’t ever intervene, she is simply emphasizing the importance of backing off somewhat and letting the child learn on their own. Teachers don’t just teach reading and mathematics but also responsibility, manners, consequences, and teamwork that help to shape happy and successful students. She adds that her happiest and most successful students are not the ones who always get the best grades,but the ones who have earned their grades on their own through their own trial and error. 

Learn more about the award-winning Fujimini Adventure series.  Purchase the books here

Celebrate Reading on World Read Aloud Day

Help your children celebrate reading with us tomorrow during World Read Aloud Day! 

Read Aloud Day is a movement dedicated to advocating reading and literacy as a “a right that belongs to all people”. This fun and creative awareness day is celebrated around the world each year on the first Wednesday of March. 

Even as technology and all of it’s wonders advance, reading is a past time that should not be left behind. This day is purposed to remind us of the power of our words, and how that power can be used to create the changes we wish to see in the world. 

Four years ago, one little boy looked up at his teacher and said, “Mrs. Allyn, let’s make sure everyone knows how good this feels. Let’s have a holiday for the read aloud” - and then Read Aloud Day was born. Since then, it has become an international event, spreading to over one million families in more than 65 countries!  

The love of reading is often times something that begins in childhood and continues through adulthood. So parents, don’t forget to read aloud to your children! Not just tomorrow, but every night after. This is not only building a healthy and educational hobby and passion, but also giving you and your child a time to bond over a wonderful book. Studies have shown that having parents who read and emphasize the importance of reading can have a greater impact on the child’s education, skills, and reading frequency than that of household income. 

The joy, creativity, and imagination that comes from reading is something that all children should know, so help us change the world one book at a time, and participate in tomorrow’s Read Aloud Day! 

To learn more about Modern Moms and The Mom Code, please visit ONCEKids Publishing website, Facebook and Twitter

Selfless Teacher Uses Her Body to Shield Students During the Oklahoma Tornado

At ONCEkids we are celebrators of mothers who show their selflessness each and everyday through their heroic actions, but we also celebrate the educators of the precious children mothers work so hard to protect. Teachers also step up and are willing to sacrifice everything, even their lives, during hardships, as teachers during the Sandy Hook shooting clearly demonstrated. Another teacher who most recently showed the selflessness teachers have when it comes to their students, is Anna Canaday.

As a recent tornado tore its way through an elementary school in Moore, Oklahoma, Canaday, along with colleague Jessica Simonds, led their terrified students into the hall and had them get down on their knees against the wall and cover their heads. She recalls how she told them it was going to be alright and was loudly praying, but as the tornado raged above the school, it looked like Canaday was going to have to establish a new plan of action. 

Canaday and Simonds grabbed all the children, huddled them together, and used their own bodies as shields as the school came crashing down on top of them. As the roof of the school collapsed on to her body, Canaday prayed aloud saying "Just take me instead because they're the babies." Among the terrified children was Canaday's own daughter, five-year-old Kali. 

After the debris had stopped crumbling around them, neighbors rushed to free the two teacher and small children from underneath the piles of wreckage, which included a car. 

Thanks to these two courageous teachers, the extent of the injuries of the children they shielded were a few scratches and busted eardrums. Canaday reports that she was not the brave one that day, but the children were the ones who acted courageously as they were organized and excellent listeners, despite their inevitable fear. 

When being called a hero, Canaday says she is not a hero but just a teacher and a mother who was doing her job and putting the most important thing first, the safety of her students and of her own daughter. 

To learn more about Modern Moms and The Mom Code, please visit ONCEKids Publishing website, Facebook and Twitter

Education: Integrating Social Media into Schools (Part 2 of 3)

Earlier we discussed the benefits of YouTube, today we move on to Facebook and YouTube.

The use of social media is something that has been carefully avoided, and often times banned, from schools -- but with rapidly changing technology and an increasing relevance of social networking in people's personal lives and even at work, it is a subject that is becoming hard to ignore. Social networking is a trend that is unlikely to become quiet anytime soon, so shouldn't schools try to find positive uses for the social media rather than just sweeping it under the carpet? Most parents and teachers have been well informed of the horror stories of Facebook or MySpace but many aren't aware of the many benefits such sites can have. If  done properly, teachers can utilize social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter to connect, notify, teach, and curate. 

To learn more about Modern Moms and The Mom Code, please visit ONCEKids Publishing website, Facebook and Twitter

Facebook is often used as a means of communication between students. If a student has a question about a test or homework assignment he or she can easily look up a classmate on Facebook and ask. This has been a method used since the creation of Facebook- so why not extend it by adding teacher-student communication? Teachers can use Facebook to make a page or group that the students can join. Teachers can then use the page to schedule events, post notes, and remind students of upcoming tests or due dates. Teenagers are on Facebook so often they can't miss it! Facebook also caters to students with apps and groups such as Flashcards and WeRead. These apps are a fun and easy way of learning that modern day teens can really connect with.

Learn more about educator, acclaimed author and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker, click here 

Recently Twitter's popularity has been soaring, especially with businesses. There are countless ways this new trend can be integrated into the classroom. Teachers can create a feed specifically for the class for their students to follow. This way they can tweet about upcoming tests and assignments, class news, events, and other reminders. It is a fast and easy way to get the word out -- plus students will see the tweets every time they check their Twitter pages (which is probably quite frequently). Teachers can also bring Twitter to the classroom by posting links and articles onto the site for students to view outside of class. This makes homework more interesting than a simple textbook or handout (not to mention- it saves a lot of printing!). Tracking hash tags, memes, and current events can allow teachers to find information relevant to the curriculum and incorporate it into class time, making it a more interesting and "hip" way for students to learn. 

Facebook and Twitter are also perfect sites for not just student-teacher communication, but also communication with other teachers. Groups on Facebook and feeds on Twitter can allow teachers to seek out one another and share ideas. It is also an easy way for parents to connect with teachers and see what their child is learning. 

Social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter are mostly viewed by parents and educators as hindering to their child's education-and in certain instances it can be -- but this can be minimized by incorporating social media into education rather than separating it out. Our youth loves social networking, so we should use that to our advantage to help them love learning too!

Click here to return and visit Part 1: YouTube.

Learn more about ONCEKids

ONCEKids is the parents' guide to Fujimini Island from the Fujimini Adventure Series by Author Eileen Wacker.

Here you can meet the characters, visit where they live and find out about the rest of the popular children's book series.  We share the educational elements behind Fujimini Island and ONCEKids; and offer advice to parents and teachers. 

You can learn more about Fujimini Island and ONCEKids:


Fujimini Island on Facebook
Fujimini Island on Twitter
Fujimini Island Website and games
Fujimini Island blog


ONCEKids on Facebook
ONCEKids on Twitter
ONCEKids blog

ONCEKids website for books, games and stuff for your parents and teachers.

Learn more about ONCEKids

ONCEKids is the parents' guide to Fujimini Island from the Fujimini Adventure Series by Author Eileen Wacker.


Here you can meet the characters, visit where they live and find out about the rest of the popular children's book series.  We share the educational elements behind Fujimini Island and ONCEKids; and offer advice to parents and teachers. 

You can learn more about Fujimini Island and ONCEKids:


Fujimini Island on Facebook
Fujimini Island on Twitter
Fujimini Island Website and games
Fujimini Island blog



ONCEKids on Facebook
ONCEKids on Twitter
ONCEKids blog

ONCEKids website for books, games and stuff for your parents and teachers.