Building Your Mom-Tourage: How to Make Mom Friends (Part Two)

In Building Your Mom-Tourage part one, we talked about all the reasons why having mom friends are important, but how does one necessarily go about getting said friends in the first place? Sometimes it can be hard for moms, especially brand new ones, to find a group of other moms to surround themselves with. These are the women you click with, laugh with, and share some of your hardest moments with- finding people like that can be a lot more difficult than you might think and that can often lead to moms feeling lonely or isolated. 

Child psychologist Joanna Jacobs compares the process of acquiring mom friends as back to being an adolescent in high school but says "No matter how awkward you feel, just remember every new mom is in the same situation, and all moms, no matter what stage of motherhood they are in, crave friendship." 

So i've researched and gathered five different strategies for helping moms go out of their comfort zone, break the ice, and cultivate those crucial friendships.

1. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there

As awkward and nerve wracking as it may feel, this is a situation where you just have to cram all of your shyness away and step out of your comfort zone. Don't wait for other mothers to approach you first, it is important to learn to be okay with making the first move. Break the ice with a compliment, to her or her child, and see if the conversation flows. If it is a person that you have a connection with, after those first few awkward moments the conversation should start to become easier and less forced. 

2. Exchange contact information

If you made good small talk and felt some positive energy, don't just walk away from it without any of their information! Now a days with Twitter, cell phones, email, and Facebook there are so many different ways to get a hold of people. You never know where really great friendships can come from so exchange information, before you leave, even if it's just an email or home phone number. Besides, there is never harm in just asking!

3. Schedule a play date with your kids

Kids are some of the best ice breakers out there, especially between moms. So if you are noticing that your kids are getting along, plan a play date! That way while your kids are having a good time and making new friends, you are too. Ease some of the anxiety you might feel about this first get together by doing something simple and casual, like a walk through the park with your strollers or a lunch date at your house. Being in an environment where you feel most comfortable will help you to relax and feel confident while putting yourself out there. 

4. Plan a follow up grown-ups play date

After you have had a few successful play dates with your new mom friend and her kids, plan the next one without the kids. Take some time out to grab dinner, go out for some drinks, or get coffee to just unwind and have some girls-night-style fun. Even if its in the middle of the afternoon while the kids are napping, give her a call and invite her over for coffee and some lunch. Making plans with new people is really refreshing and adds excitement when your days start feeling repetitive. 

5. Get out of the house!

Sometimes the hardest part is simply getting out of the house and going somewhere. Moms of newborns who spend a lot of time sleeping are especially affected by this. But regardless, it is important to make and effort and motivate yourself to get outside as much as possible because spending too much time alone or in the house can lead to some of the feelings of loneliness and depression that some moms experience. Even if it is just putting the baby in a stroller and taking a walk through the neighborhood or the local park, it can be very uplifting and put you in a great mood. Plus you never know who you will meet along the way! 

If you haven't already, don't forget to check out Building Your Mom-Tourage Part One: Why It Is Important to Have Mom Friends!

To learn more about Modern Moms and The Mom Code, please visit ONCEKids Publishing website, Facebook and Twitter

Building Your Mom-tourage: Why Every Mom Needs Mommy Friends (Part One)

Over the course of your life you obtain all kinds of different types of friends- you have your work friends, your high school friends, roommates from college, your husband's friends, and so on. It's always a positive thing to have a wide variety of people in your circle, it makes life more interesting. But as you start to have a family, there is one group of people in your life that are going to become more and more important- your mommy friends. 

1. They get it

These women understand the joys and the challenges that come from being a mother better than anyone else can, they have been there for the ups and the downs, the good days and the difficult ones. They are the people you can have deep and way too detailed conversations with about balancing work and parenting, breast feeding, the terrible twos, and everything in between. They aren't going to judge you for your messy car or thrown together ponytail, they are right there with ya!

2. They are the perfect people to vent to

Anything from issues at work to the kids or husband (or both!) that are driving you crazy, other moms are the best listeners because they most likely deal with the exact same issues that drive them totally insane as well. So they will let you vent and then vent right back to you, so not only have you gotten things off your chest, but it leaves you with that good feeling of knowing you're not the only one. 

3. They have your back

On those mornings where the baby is crying and the kids are late for school but Suzie can't find her homework and breakfast is burning and you can't find your keys- your mommy friends are the ones who will come over right away, pajamas still on and all, to finish packing the lunches and locating keys and homework while you calm the baby down and get organized. When you and your husband are in desperate need of a date night but can't find a sitter, these are the women who will more than willingly watch the kids for a few hours (good luck hunting down your non-parent friends for this task!). When other moms make you feel bad at school for not raising enough money during the fundraiser or bringing in store-bought cookies for the bake sale, your mom friends will be there to help you brush it off and make you laugh about it.

To learn more about Modern Moms and The Mom Code, please visit ONCEKids Publishing website, Facebook and Twitter

4. Your kids can play together

While you guys have play dates, your kids can hang out too! Not to mention being able to carpool or have a place your kid is actually excited about going to after school for a few hours when you need to finish some things up at work. And if they have kids a little bit older than yours- hooray for hand me downs! 

Being a parent can be really hard and isolating sometimes, so it is crucial to surround yourself with other parents who are going through what you are going through and can offer you advice and be a source of constant support. And what may start out as just a mother of your child's friend can turn into a lasting friendship, so don't be afraid to put yourself out there!

Learn the tips for cultivating mommy-friendships in the upcoming part two of Building Your Mom-tourage!

More Tips On Controlling Back to School Madness

Back to school can be a very hectic time with a lot of mixed emotions. Back to school means the end of those lazy summer days and relaxed schedule. For some moms, back to school send offs make them feel sad- their kids are growing and entering new stages in life- for others it means time to pop the cork off the wine bottle and celebrate! But no matter which category you fall under, there are many strategies for making this time of year as stress-free as possible. 

1. Look at the school calendar ahead of time so you can start planning

-Usually schools send out calendars of all the holiday breaks and important dates for that year towards the end of the summer. So instead of tossing it in a desk drawer to gather dust, take a look through it so you have an idea of when your kids will be off from school and can plan accordingly. 

2. Forget the back to school clothes

Instead of stressing yourself out over budgeting and back to school shopping, just forget it all together and let them wear what they are comfortable in! Summer clothes are still functional in the warm September weather, so just wait it out until after labor day when clothes are deeply discounted. 

3. Wake kids up early for pictures- Not this year! 

Instead of enduring all the complaining and fake smiles, just say forget it to the morning photo session. Wait until the end of the day when they are getting off the bus all excited from their big day to snap a few photos. 

4. Check and double check your school supplies list to make sure your kids will have everything they need on their first day

-It's embarrassing to be the one out of the group who is not prepared, and if that ends up being your child, I'm positive you will be hearing ALL about it when they get home!

To learn more about Modern Moms and The Mom Code, please visit ONCEKids Publishing website, Facebook and Twitter

5. Have an "End of the Summer Family Activity"

Once school starts, with all sports and afterschool activities, days will become hectic and everyone will be on a different schedule, so before this happens plan one last fun summer activity that the whole family will enjoy and can do together. 

6. Start pushing back the clock before school starts

Just like with reestablishing earlier bedtimes and more structured meal times, start to slowly push back wake up time too. Especially for you mothers of teenagers who can sleep till one or two in the afternoon, gradually start waking them up a little earlier in the weeks before the end of summer. This way, getting up at 6am on the first day of school won't be a complete shock to their systems!

7. Let them choose their "first day" breakfast 

Instead of stressing yourself out on the first morning over making them a healthy breakfast, just take this one morning to let them choose what they want to eat. Even its a slice of cake- just let them have a special treat to make them happy and in a good mood on their special day!

Tell us how you help your kids get organized for back to school!

Has your family received a Nook, Kindle or iPad this year?  Find Fujimini Adventure Series award-winning books here.  Great family-friendly gifts.