My Journey to The Mom's Code; Part Three (of five) It's not all Facebook Fabulous

Written by:
Eileen Wacker

This is Part three.

TO FIND PART TWO, CLICK HERE.

The strangest feeling pushed its way into my soul. That it had to be me at home raising ‘them’, the four ankle biters. That I couldn’t leave this immense responsibility to anyone else - not even our greatest babysitter. Part of me wanted it to be me. I wanted to be thought of as a good mom. I wanted the damn ‘world’s greatest mom’ mug.

Tenet 8: Save your children -- when you have to

Moms need a community to share, laugh and cry together :) Learn more about The Moms Code and the tenets of being a Mom. 

My husband often reminded me how lucky I was to stay home, but I was very conflicted. I was down in a playpen arena fighting it out and he was in the luxury box after work, observing everything, ready to comment as the plays unfolded, if he was home, which was not a lot. I also felt the balance of power in our relationship shifting and I didn’t like it. All of a sudden his career took uncontested priority while a Little Tykes shopping cart bulldozed mine. Sometimes after work, he would walk into a kitchen of cheeriness, with a bubbly wife sharing all the news of the day; other times, he would enter a dangerous den with a chardonnay-holding tiger ready to pounce due to all the day’s cumulative injustices. I understood perfectly that play date politics, pick-up line transgressions and volunteer jobs at school turning into power plays, were not life changing issues, but as he learned the hard way, pointing that out over and over was not a good idea, especially if he did it with an eye roll.

I had not made time to meet other moms in our suburban town until school started. Luckily, the kids got into the adorable town nursery school. On the first day of school, I met the nicest group of moms and danced to my car, singing along to Pink, gleeful at having 2 ½ hours relatively free, with only one baby, who I planned to force naps upon so I had at least an hour alone! So, my two biggest kids went to nursery school, I had a baby at home, and was pregnant with the fourth. I enthusiastically planned play dates, put the kids in activities with other kids (whose moms I liked J), and threw kiddie holiday parties.

Tenet 7: Nourish your soul with Girls' Night Outs

Proud parents just like you are looking for a new, fun (and educational) picture book series for your children.  Find the award-winning Fujimini Adventure book series by clicking here. 

Becoming part of a mom group was life changing. Moms need other moms. The discussions I hated pre-kids were now very relevant. The women quickly became important to me. I trusted them. I was part of something meaningful. There was realness and honesty about something precious to all of us. Raising our beloved ankle biters.

These dinners were different from work dinners as we endlessly discussed our kids. We shared stories of successes and failures, struggles and wins, saving us countless hours on the Internet or in therapy. We aired our secrets and there was very little judgment. One mom confessed that her kids constantly threw gummed up cheerios at her head as she drove! Another said that her child ran and hid every time a play date ended and melted down as they left, causing scene after scene! Another confessed that her preschooler couldn't really read! We all had days filled with tiny people who sapped our energy then demanded we belt out Wheels on the Bus one more time.

We laughed about whether Mother’s Day is a ruse on moms or a real holiday. Bad buffets with grouchy children in dressy clothes, yelling dads and a long wait despite having a reservation were common themes. We agreed it would be more relaxing if the husband took the mad children to breakfast and let us sleep in. We would leave instructions to slide the cherished card under the closed bathroom door.

Tenet 2: Enough with the guilt

One working mom confessed, “Today Mackenzie was sick— again. I had to cancel my work trip to London and work from home. I sat at the doctors’ office for two hours, surrounded by kids with pink eye, only to hear, she should rest. I feel like someone threw me in a garbage can and rolled me down the road. My roots are showing, my nails are chipped, and Mackenzie cried in the background of an important call, because I bought TruMoo chocolate milk instead of Nesquik. And I’m using the drops because I might have pink eye. That’s why I look like I have a lazy, weepy eye tonight! Future partners can’t have pink eye!”

The weepy eye was like a traffic accident that I couldn’t look away from. We all backed up a bit, dreading getting conjunctivitis. I said,“I don’t know how you balance your big job, commuting to the city, and all Mackenzie’s stuff.”

CLICK HERE FOR PART FOUR: MOM SECRETS

ONCEkids Celebrates Heroic Moms (Part Three of Three)

As mentioned previously, we are extending our heroic mothers series from Mother's Day through the end of May, because one day is simply not enough to even begin to explain all that our mothers do for us. 

There are dozens of stories out there, all equally touching and inspiring, of mothers who sacrificed everything, sometimes even their lives, for the sake of their children. In dedication of the heroic mothers everywhere, we have selected just a small handful of these countless women and decided to tell their stories.

To learn more about Modern Moms and The Mom Code, please visit ONCEKids Publishing website, Facebook and Twitter

Our list continues with Sharrie Shelton Duncan. While on vacation in Positano, Italy, Duncan and her 12-year-old son, Shane, were standing on a pier admiring the waves when a freak wave washed up, knocking them off their feet. Witnesses recall how Duncan was able to lift her son and push him up to rescuers before being swept away in the current that eventually took her life. She will forever  be remembered as a hero who put her son's life and safety before her own.

Our last mom, Erika Zeeman, jumped into action when she and her husband, along with their young daughter, stopped at a gas station near their home in Hercules, South Africa. As they pulled up to the gas station, they were unaware of the robbery that was in progress, until five men, armed with 9 mm handguns and an AK47, stormed out of the store.

Zeeman's husband, Piet Zeeman- who is also a police officer, immediately pursued the fleeing robbers. As he was chasing them, one of them turned around and began to fire into the Zeeman's family car, aiming directly at their toddler, Demi, who was sitting in the backseat. Seeing this, Erika launched across the seat, shielding her daughter with her own body. Erika was shot five times in the back while protecting Demi, but after being rushed into surgery and having the bullets removed, she miraculously survived and it is thanks to her heroic act that Demi was kept alive and unharmed. 


Has your family received a Nook, Kindle or iPad this year?  Find Fujimini Adventure Series award-winning books here.  Great family-friendly gifts.

Remember to tell your mom everyday how much she means to you because, as these stories prove, they truly will do anything, even risk or give up their own life, to keep you out of harms way. 

Here at ONCEkids, every mother is a hero. Comment below and tell us how your mother is yours!

Powerful Moms in Social Media (Part 1 of 5)

Heather Armstrong

With sites like Facebook and Twitter, social media is a trend that just keeps getting trendier. Now, there is a relatively new addition to the social media scene that is also rising in popularity. Moms are now taking the social media world by storm with their popular social media sites and blogs. Some of these blogs center on their life as a mom, while others write and speak about the balance between business and motherhood. Over the last few years, a group of these moms have risen to become powerful influencers, reaching large audiences across all social media platforms, including FaceBook, Twitter, YouTube, and more. 

To learn more about Modern Moms and The Mom Code, please visit ONCEKids Publishing website, Facebook and Twitter

Working Mother has created a list called the Most Powerful Moms in Social Media, consisting of fifteen mothers who have risen to the top of social media. 

Jill Asher

The first on the list has sometimes been referred to as the 'Queen of Mommy Bloggers'. Heather Armstrong, mother of two daughters, has made tremendous strides in the social media world since the creation of her website, Dooce.com, in 2002. She has managed to acquire 1.5 million followers on Twitter to date and it is reported that her blog has around 100,000 visitors a day. She has also written books and participated in many speaking engagements. It is estimated that she is making up to $1 million a year from ad revenue alone! One of the stories that got her to the top of the Powerful Moms chart was when she expressed her disappointment about the new Maytag washing machine she'd recently bought- and not only did the company deliver a new one to her door, but they also donated one in her name to charity. Wow, that is one powerful mommy blogger!

Amy Lupold Bair

Learn more about acclaimed author and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker, click here 

The next most influential mommy blogger is Jill Asher. This mother of two says that her career in blogging began in 2006. She says she noticed there were no blogs tailored to moms specifically in her area Silicon Valley. Upon this discovery, she created a group known as the Silicon Valley Group, filling a significant gap with the creation of a regional community of moms. This community has since grown substantially, buying up regional blogs all over the United States. The group also works to promote video conferences and books clubs, with the purpose of feeling like a monthly meeting for moms across the country. 

Mother of two and Powerful Mom number three, Amy Lupold Bair, was a middle school English teacher until her invention in 2008 that would shake up the social media world, the Twitter Party. A Twitter Party consists of an online conversation through Twitter. It often includes panelists and giveaways. This invention has opened up the doors of communication between companies and their customers. Bair has personally hosted over 150 Twitter parties for big name brands such as Pampers. Her Twitter has amassed over 30,000 followers. This super-Mom has also formed The Global Influence Network and runs a personal blog. The Global Influence Network was formed in 2009, working with public relations agencies with the purpose of developing interesting content and contests for bloggers and members of the network to share with their readers and Twitter followers. Her own blog, appropriately titled "Resourceful Mommy", get more personal with parenting advice based on her own personal experiences as a mother. 

Minimizing Morning Meltdowns [PART 2 of 2]

Continuing from this week's earlier post, mornings can be an extremely stressful time for everyone involved. Getting yourself out of bed, dressed, and ready to go and then doing the same for the kids, all while being on time and remembering everything, is a seemingly impossible task. All of this chaos can make the chances of a meltdown much more likely, especially due to the early morning hours. Luckily, there are some strategies to minimize the likelihood of those morning meltdowns- whether they are from you or the kids! 

1.  Just relax. When you have kids and a busy schedule, not everything is always going to go according to plan, but that's okay. When you feel yourself getting wound up or frustrated over something, just step back for a minute and take a deep breath. Getting angry and upset over situations aren't going to make them get accomplished any faster or go any more smoothly.

To learn more about Modern Moms and The Mom Code, please visit ONCEKids Publishing website, Facebook and Twitter

2. Give up some of the decision making. This is especially true for kids with a tendency to rebel against your decisions. Giving kids options and making them feel like they have some input is a great way to minimize the meltdowns. Let the older kids choose their own clothes for school, as long as they are laid out the night before. Give the younger kids a few options of what outfit they'd like to wear. Even if the outfit wouldn't be your first choice, let some of that freedom go and it will feel like a huge weight off your shoulders. This freedom of choice extends beyond just clothes, like what they would like for breakfast. Do they want apple juice or orange juice? A bagel or cereal? When kids feel like they have some control they are much less likely to complain. However, it is important to make it clear that there are certain things that are just not up for discussion- like if they can skip breakfast or pack whatever they want for lunch. If they know ahead of time that these things are nonnegotiable, they are less likely to argue about it.

Learn more about acclaimed author and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker, click here 

3. Prioritize! Having priorities that are clear and fair will help to de-stress your mornings on those days where things don't go according to plan or you're running late. Brushing teeth and getting dressed must come before watching t.v. or going on the computer. Even having priorities for yourself if important, like making sure everyone is up and ready before checking Facebook or your phone. Kids tend to follow by example, so if you are still in your pajamas and texting on your cell phone, they are going to complain about having to get dressed and ready. 

4. Make mornings fun! Just because it is the morning and people are trying to get out the door, doesn't mean it has to be stressful. Keep the mornings light-hearted and fun -- maybe even make getting ready into a game. Have a contest to see who can be ready the fastest. Offering rewards or praise for good behavior can also go a long way to keeping kids happy and well-behaved during those busy mornings. 

Hey Mom, Do You Facebook?

Most people seem to think that mothers are only on Facebook to check up on their kids -- and that is why many moms initially get a Facebook -- but studies show that 99% of moms on Facebook are actually using it for designated "me time". 

Facebook has created a new outlet for moms to keep in touch with friends and family, find out about sales, look up recipe ideas, and more. Facebook has become especially popular with moms who are constantly on-the-go. It allows moms who lead hectic, busy lives to be able to constantly have access to what's going on and the ability to contact/stay in touch with friends. 

To learn more about Modern Moms and The Mom Code, please visit ONCEKids Publishing website, Facebook and Twitter

The study, conducted by marketing company Mums Now, also found that the majority of Facebook activity occurs between the hours of 8 and 10 pm. Activity is significantly lower during the weekdays from 8 a.m. and 4 p.m. 

Are you a mom on Facebook?  Why and how often do you use the site? Which of the 10 Types of Facebook Moms are you?

Celeb Moms Stand Proud for Nat'l Breast Cancer Awareness Month

In honor of National Breast Cancer Awareness month, we are adding more celebrity moms to our list of inspiring breast cancer survivors! These women bravely stepped forward to tell their stories, both supporting and motivating other women who are currently fighting against breast cancer or have beat the disease. 

To learn more about Modern Moms and The Mom Code, please visit ONCEKids Publishing website, Facebook and Twitter

Olivia Newton-John makes our list of breast cancer survivors, but that is not all she has accomplished during her lifetime. The English-born Australian singer and actress is a four-time Grammy award winner with five number one and ten other songs on the Top Ten Billboard Hot 100 singles and two number one Billboard 200 solo albums. Six of her fourteen albums, ranging from pop to country, are platinum or double platinum- not to mention, she did co-star alongside John Travolta in the hit "Grease". All of these accomplishments are impressive, but her two most impressive accomplishments are her role as a mother (she has one daughter, Chloe), and surviving the battle that 12.4% of women fight during their lifetime- breast cancer. Olivia had always been an avid animal rights activist and activist for environmental issues, but she added breast cancer awareness to her list after being diagnosed in 1992. 

Actress and mother of one Suzanne Somers has received both support and criticism for her views on medicine, but her opinions were put to the test when she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2000. She sparked controversy when she opted for alternative treatment rather than chemotherapy. In 2009 she wrote "Knockout", a book that explores alternative treatments over what typically may be offered in a doctor's office. Despite much controversy, her decision to receive a lumpectomy and radiation therapy was successful in ridding her of breast cancer.

Pop star and mother of two, Anastacia, went in to receive breast reduction surgery at age 29. Her doctor insisted that she have a mammogram before going into the surgery, which was when it was discovered that she had breast cancer. She immediately underwent surgery to remove the cancer and after was declared cancer-free. When asked what she learned from the experience she stressed the importance of getting mammograms early and often.

Learn more about acclaimed author and Mompreneur Eileen Wacker, click here.

American singer and children's author, Carly Simon, is known for not just her 13 Top 40 hits, including "You're So Vain", and her induction into the Songwriters Hall of Fame, but also for her extensive battle with breast cancer. In 1997 her world turned upside down when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. With the support of her two children, Sarah and Ben, she underwent a mastectomy, chemotherapy, and reconstructive surgery from 1997 to 1998. When asked about her cancer she says she was angry with herself for not dealing with it earlier, but was thankful for her survival. 

Click here to read other's inspiring stories of beating breast cancer:

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/breast-cancer-survivors

ONCEKids Publishing salutes Modern Mom Kim Clijsters

Kim Clijsters is a professional tennis player from Belgium. She is a former world number 1 in both singles and doubles and as of August 13, 2012 she is ranked number 28 in singles in the world. She won Grand Slam titles at the US Open in 2005, 2009, and 2010 and one at the Australian Open in 2011. In 2003 she won the French Open and Wimbledon titles. 

To learn more about Modern Moms and The Mom Code, please visit ONCEKids Publishing website, Facebook and Twitter.

In 2007 she announced her retirement but returned only two years later. All of these accomplishments, and she is a mother! 

Clijsters gave birth to her daughter, Jada Elle, on February 27, 2008. A year after giving birth to her daughter, she came back from her retirement to win her second US Open title. This victory gave her the title of the first mother to win a major since 1980 when Evonne Goolagong won. 

To learn more about Mompreneur and acclaimed author Eileen Wacker, click here.
Her accomplishments equal the record set by Margaret Court, winning three Gram Slams as a mother. She is also the first mother to hold the number one ranking since 1975. In June 2011, she was named one of the "30 Legends of Women's Tennis: Past, Present, and Future" by TIME magazine and according to Forbes in August 2011 she became the fifth highest-paid female athlete.