Develop Your True Self Throughout Parenting

The belief of identifying who your "true self" is a shared perspective among many cultures, who recognize the authentic self is both good and moral. With this belief, it emphasizes that anyone can grow and change for the better, no matter your past, to eventually succeed in achieving well-balanced mental health and happiness.

However, discovering your true authentic self is can be difficult when you're a parent, since you're on a personal journey but also guiding and loving your children. The beauty of self-discovery is that you must incorporate your loved ones to help you fulfill your best human potential.

Be Grateful

When we're grateful, we're able to form new social relations and strengthen old ones. Our brains become conditioned to seek and identify the positives, which becomes a great coping strategy when we become faced by stressors.

Parenting and life, in general, is hard. With so many ups and downs, it can be hard to isolate what exactly we should be grateful for. However, children are naturally mindful in the way that they are genuinely curious and excited about life. Parents can reflect on what their children are grateful for, to help be reminded of how beautiful life really is.

Set Goals

When one thinks of goal setting, they might think of the generic steps of becoming academically or professionally successful. It's easy to think of success in terms of finances or getting material things. But setting goals in order to achieve happiness can be an influential motivator to help you discover your true self throughout parenting.

Most of us think that in order to be a good parent, our personal needs should be placed last, after the children and spouse's happiness. However, in order to be your best self, it's important to take the steps in acknowledging what you need and value, and then make the goals to follow suit.

Personal Awareness

Parents are intuitively in tune with their children's emotional, mental, physical, social, and spiritual needs. Right from infancy, parental instincts naturally kick into full gear, so we know how to recognize and adapt to our child's growing needs. What most parents might not realize is those instincts that are working in overdrive to help us care for our children, are the same ones that can be used in our own personal awareness.

Emotional intelligence helps us to recognize and understand our body cues, emotions, behaviors, needs, and values while being aware of how it impacts us and our loved ones. Once one recognizes, understands, and expresses needs in a healthy way,  is when the parent can begin to identify their true self.

Have a Purpose

Sometimes, a parent might feel like they've lost who they were, or feel stuck. In order to keep moving forward, it can be helpful to be reminded of how special being a parent really is.

Yet sometimes "just being a parent" doesn't feel meaningful enough... and that's okay. Discovering your true self implies finding what your own personalized purpose is, and then pursuing it. Whether it's financial or professional success, altruistic work, traveling the world, or advocating for a cause: this purpose belongs to you and no one else.

Laugh Daily

Laughing truly is the best medicine in helping us feel good, be authentic, and being comfortable with ourselves. In fact, The Harvard Mahoney Neuroscience Institute states that our brain releases neurotransmitter chemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins each time we laugh.

Finding a reason to laugh daily isn't as difficult as you might think. Parents can look to their children, the experts of silliness, for a dose of comedic relief. There are also more sophisticated ways to attain a few giggles throughout the day: being silly with your partner, exchanging funny one-liners with your co-workers, or turning on a comedy special on Netflix.

Make Time For You

Now that you've begun to realize your true potential by acknowledging your true self, you might feel like it's time to hit the ground running. With so many ideas of how to apply your purpose, chasing after what feels real, and setting personal goals, it can be an intoxicating feeling.

However, as great as it feels to be on top of the world, it's essential to maintain a healthy consistency of doing things solely for your well-being. Even when you feel like everything is going right, whether personally or along  your parenting journey, it's important to keep in mind: "you can't drink from an empty cup." Self-care should be your focus whenever possible.

Source: https://www.moms.com/ways-develop-true-self-parenting/

Create a Healthy, Happy Relationships with Your Kid's Pre-School Teacher

Have you ever looked at those teacher gift suggestions and thought to yourself, "I wonder if a teacher actually wants something like this or if they'd rather I just give them a gift card"? Now, have you ever wondered about what a teacher wants from parents outside the realm of appreciation presents? Teachers, particularly pre-school teachers, don't go into the field for the glory or the money, they go into it because they have a passion for it and that means they want to make a difference, but they can't do that without the parents help. They want parents to be involved, but in a way that's helpful, not demeaning.

Do: Get To Know Them

Your child's pre-school teacher is (gasp) more than just a teacher. As it turns out, they have a life outside of their job which often impacts who they are as a teacher and the lessons they teach. Your child spends so much of their time with this person (who has likely grown to really love your kid) so they want you to know who they are as a person and as a teacher. No two teachers are exactly alike, and when you understand your child's teacher, you'll be able to better understand their teaching style and trust them a little more.

Don’t: Expect An Email Reply After Hours

Your child's teacher may have a great relationship with you and love your kid (your kid may even be their absolute favorite) but that doesn't mean your child is a higher priority to them than their own life. You don't want to have to answer work emails or calls after hours, and neither does your child's teacher. You're welcome to send them messages during those hours if that's the only time you are able to do it with your own personal schedule, but don't expect a reply until the next business day.

Do: Ask for Ways To Help Your Kid at Home

Teachers love parents who are engaged and want to help their child succeed. When a parent actually shows interest in their child's education, teachers know that the child has a much higher chance at succeeding and mastering a skill than a child whose parents aren't involved. So, if you're interested in figuring out what the kids are doing in class so that you can help encourage the same behavior/lessons at home - ask! The teacher will be happy to fill you in and give you tips for helping at home.

Don’t: Blame the Teacher for Your Kid’s Behavior Problems

As much as your pre-school teacher is trained and knowledgeable in running a class full of crazy kids, they're still human and there's only so much they can do to control individual behavior. If your child's teacher sees misbehaving, then they will do whatever they can to correct it, but the fact is that there are usually 6 kids to one teacher and they only have so much power. Your child will likely pick up bad behavior from other kids in class, and other kids will pick it up from your child, too. Don't blame the teacher, instead, just send a note letting them know you're working on this behavior at home and you'd like their support to watch for it in school. Chances are good the teacher will be more than happy to help.

Are you a ‘Snowplowing Parent’? Find Out!

We’ve heard of helicopter parents and we have heard of free-range parents but now it’s time to make way for another breed of parents: the snowplowing ones. That’s right: these are the kind of parents who are willing and ready to bulldoze their way to ensure that their child will always have what they need, regardless of what age they are.

They are also the kind of parents who will stop at nothing to ensure their children’s success. With that said, here are ten signs that suggest you might be a snowplowing parent. Some people act this way without even realizing it. Here’s what you need to know.

YOU SCHEDULE THEIR APPOINTMENTS

If you have an adult child that still needs you to make all of their doctor and dentist appointments for them, then you don’t have an adult child. You have a child, period. And let us let you in on a little secret here: there are pediatricians out there who refuse to see children who are older than the age of 18, so they might be out of luck here.

If you have to also schedule their oil change and tire rotations, then perhaps your adult child isn’t mature enough to own a vehicle of their own yet. Let them make the call!

YOUR KIDS DON'T DO CHORES

It doesn’t matter what age your children are, but if you find yourself often picking up after them, cleaning their rooms and doing their laundry, then you are one tired parent who needs a break! No parent should step in and do their child’s chores, especially if its their responsibility.

Children should be taught at a very early age to pick up after themselves and help around the house. The last thing you want to do is raise a lazy child who doesn’t know where the trash bin in the house is. That, or not know how to do the laundry on their first day of college.

YOU ‘SERVE’ THEM

While there’s no doubt that a good parent wants to make sure that their child grows up in a loving home where they feel both secured and warm, you don’t want to be that kind of parent who does every little thing for them.

Yes, small kids need assistance when it comes to meals. But at some point they should learn how to help set up the table and help clean the table after a family meal, too. If you find yourself often “serving” your kids, it’s time they find where the dishes are in your kitchen cabinets themselves, right?





Source: https://www.moms.com/signs-snowplowing-parent-stop/

Cyber Prevention: Are You Checking Your Child's Phone?

Parents, how many moms and dads actually check the content that is on their children’s phones?  We fear, not so many :(  While, yes, there are plenty of us who confiscate our tween’s phones after realizing that they’ve had a little too much screen time, very few of us actually open them up and check our kids’ messages, apps and social media accounts to see what their kids are actually doing.

We need to be more vigilant when it comes to their children’s phone use. Here are some tips to check on your kids’ phones every day.

Text Messages

This one is critically important. There can be a lot of damage or digital drama that can be done through text messages. First and foremost, parents should tell their children that if they have something to say but wouldn’t dare say it out loud, then by all means don’t say it through a text. Also, there’s a very good chance that kids who are bullied are very unlikely to tell their parents about it. Before you scroll through your child’s text messages, be clear and upfront about it with your child first. Let them know that you are doing it for their safety and in some cases, you might be doing it for their mental health as well.

Social Media Apps

When it comes to ‘spying’ on their children and their phones, there are some parents who think that they have every right to do so because they pay for it. Others think that they are being intrusive by invading their child’s privacy. Quite honestly, both sides are correct. However, it is important to check and see what your child is doing, especially on social media. Just make sure that you are being honest and upfront with your child before you do so. The last thing you want as a parent is for your child not to have a reason to trust you. Of course, the same can be said about them.

Gaming Apps

Sure, there are a lot of parents who know that their kids are playing different gaming apps every day. But do you know what gaming apps your kids have? Also, do you know if their accounts are private or if they have access to in-app messaging services? Those are just a few things to look out for.

Yes, gaming apps aren’t exactly what you would call social media, but they do sometimes have similar functions. Little do parents know that strangers can reach out to unsuspecting kids on games like Minecraft and Roblox the same way they can reach out to them on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok.


Their Photos

Another thing that many parents don’t do is check their children’s photos on their phones. Many parents often find themselves pretty surprised by the content that they find there. That’s not to say that kids are only taking inappropriate photos. But instead they often waste their storage space by taking photos of everything and anything. Also, discuss with your children the meaning of consent. They should always ask before taking someone’s photo or posting it online. The same applies to them. Make sure others have your child’s consent before posting their photo online, too. There are actually a lot of parents out there that don’t want their children’s photos online or on social media at all.

Internet Browser

While a lot of emphasis is usually put on social media and gaming apps, parents should also check out what their kids are looking at on their browsers. More often than not kids will have multiple browsers or tabs open in their phones. Moms and dads should have an open and honest discussion with their kids about the web sites that they frequent, the content that they either look at or read and overall online safety. While parents do everything they can to guard their kids in the real world, the online world poses many different risks at just one click of a button.

Check for In-App-Purchases

Last but definitely not least, also check your child’s phone for in-app purchases, especially if they have their own account. The last thing that you want is a surprise bill on your credit card, especially if it comes in the form of a gaming app or another app that unlocks hundreds of different selfie filters. Yes, a lot of parents can agree that these are a huge waste of money yet kids don’t see it the same way. If you can’t trust that your child will make the right decisions online, then simply deactivate their account or better yet, don’t give them your credit card details.

Source: https://www.moms.com/child-phone-check-safety-tips/

Would YOU Do it: Pros & Cons Of Letting Your Kid Play Hooky From School

Anyone who has ever gone to school in any capacity has likely played hooky at least once. And while your self-determined day off might not have been as exciting as Ferris Bueller’s in the iconic ‘80s flick, chances are it was for good reason.

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Ideally, kids who decide to skip school are doing so with their parents’ permission, and for a good reason, like to see the premiere of a hotly-anticipated movie (the latest Star Wars or MCU film, for example), to spend a beautiful day at the park with family visiting from afar, to take a long weekend trip, or to participate in a major sporting tournament.

For parents, though, there’s always a twinge of guilt. Should you let your child take a day off school to go to the theatre or a sleepover trip with their friends? Is that soccer tournament really important enough to warrant a day lost of schooling?

As we gear up for the first day of school, here are the pros and cons of letting kids take a day off (later in the year, of course!)

Pro: YOU GET TO SPEND EXTRA TIME WITH YOUR KID

Assuming the skipped day is for a family event, this means you will get to spend more quality time with your child, which can be few and far between for families with working parents. Typically, the only time you get to spend with your kids is evenings and weekends, plus any vacation time. So if there’s an opportunity to do something fun, even if it consists of a day goofing off with mom and dad, why not?

The lessons will still be there the next day, and one day of schooling isn’t going to negatively impact their education. Check with the teacher to ensure that no new topics or big tests are planned for that day. If not, go for it!

Con: THEY MIGHT MISS OUT ON IMPORTANT LESSONS: 

If you don’t time it correctly, you could let your child skip a critical day of the year when the teacher introduces an entirely new topic or equation that sets the course for the rest of the year. This could set your child back if they miss out on the initial lesson.

For kids who are already having trouble in school and aren’t good at studying on their own, this could be detrimental to their education. But checking in with the teacher first can alleviate any of these worries.

Pro: IT MIGHT BE FOR A WORTHWHILE EXPERIENCE

Sometimes, once in a lifetime opportunities present themselves during school hours. And to opt out of one because your child has to spend the day in a classroom seems ludicrous. You don’t need to make a habit of it. But it’s important for your child to know that while education is critical, there’s more to life than school. And outside-of-school experiences can have a learning effect as well.

Your child could get much more out of a great trip to the museum for a limited time exhibit, or a day with family visiting from another country than they ever could from one routine day in the classroom.

Con: THE TEACHER MIGHT LOOK DOWN ON YOU

Depending on who your child’s teacher is, they might look down on you for allowing your child to skip school for any reason other than a death in the family or illness. Some teachers are super strict and believe that education is everything, and missed days are missed opportunities.While you shouldn’t care so much what the teacher thinks because in the end, you are in charge of your own children, the side eyes you might get could be uncomfortable at the next parent-teacher interview.

Source: https://www.moms.com/pros-cons-kid-hooky-skip-school/

LOL - Things You Can Never Do Alone When You Have A Toddler

They say having kids changes your entire life. They say you will never know a love quite like it. They say parenthood is the best thing in the world and the reason why we are all here in the first place. However, what they don't say is that you will never experience life on your own ever again, or at least briefly anyway.

That's right, from the minute your children are born, they are attached to you forever, following you wherever you go, and never giving you one moment of peace. Yes, young children, and especially toddlers, can be exceptionally clingy and love to show this attitude by following you all over the place. Here are 10 things that you can never do alone when you have a toddler.

GO TO THE TOILET


Going to the bathroom is one of the most private things a person can do. Yes, sometimes it can be nice to spend those extra few minutes alone, thinking about the days gone by, and relaxing for a few precious moments before entering back into the world of chaos. However, once you have a child you can say goodbye to personal bathroom trips and hello to, "don't touch that it's dirty", "don't do that it's dirty" and "please just stand over there". In fact, it will probably be a good 7 years before you can experience sitting on the toilet alone again, so you might as well get used to it.

THE GROCERY STORE

Before becoming a parent, going to the grocery was a doddle, right? Sometimes you could get in and out within ten minutes, sometimes you would stay in there for hours, gliding down the aisles and looking at what is on offer. Sadly, this stops once having children, with the grocery store becoming your absolute worst nightmare.

In fact, the grocery store ends up being the most stressful place in the world, leaving you to keep putting it off until you and your family are eating instant mashed potato and chips. Yes, the grocery store is where toddlers really know how to be at their worst, screaming and shouting at every item possible, all while putting things in their pocket and walking out of the store with it.

SLEEPING

Sleeping used to be so much fun when you didn't have children; you could stay up late, spread out, and wake up whenever you wanted. However, sleeping after kids is actually a completely different experience. Firstly, there is no sleep, not until they are a little bit older anyway. Even then, you don't sleep much, with toddlers insisting on sleeping in your bed because there are monsters or other creepy things lurking under their bed. Furthermore, toddlers seem to take up a huge amount of space despite their tiny size, leaving you perched on the end of the bed with a foot in your mouth.

ALONE WITH YOUR OTHER KID

After having one child you have probably become used to the fact that you'll probably never have a moment alone ever again. Maybe you have come to terms with the fact that you'll never go to the bathroom alone again, or the fact that you will have to share your bed with a miniature person for the next few years. However, what you didn't expect was the fact that your firstborn will also want to be included in everything that your second born does. Yes, from changing their nappy to breastfeeding, your firstborn will be right there watching your every move.

To be honest, you won't actually be able to do anything alone once you have had children, from ironing to talking on the phone, your kids will be there looking at you, wanting your attention or just randomly shouting at you for no reason. However, although this might sound painful (and it is a bit) you also wouldn't change it for the world. Yes, having children can be extremely stressful but it is also one of the most rewarding jobs in the world, even if you do have a child staring at you while you are trying to do a number two.




SOURCE: https://www.moms.com/things-alone-change-toddler/

Things To Do With Your Kids Before The Summer's Gone

The summer always seems to come and go...as fleeting as our baby's first year. During these moments, they seem to go by slowly. We may feel lost as to what to do during the days, though in the blink of the eye, it's over.

Considering we (give or take) only have 18 summers with our children, we should take advantage and do what we can, when we can with them. If you've gone through your Summer To-Do List, we may actually have a few, added suggestions to add on. The summer's almost over, folks. So here are ten ideas for you and your child during the last few days of summer.

SLEEP IN THE BACKYARD

There's nothing more magical than watching the stars from your backyard. It's also more convenient than traveling to a campsite, using porte-potties and having to cover up dinner plates incase the bears sniff them out. Whether you have already taken a camp trip or not this summer, camping in the backyard is essentially great for any age. You're close to all amenities that may be needed through out the evening, so it's a low-risk and low-stress opportunity to enjoy the 'wilderness'.

ROAST A MARSHMALLOW

Did you just gasp? Hadn't you realized you've been meaning to have a campfire and actually indulge in a roasted marshmallow? Well, now's the time! Summer's end is around the bend, and we think it's time to find a solid excuse to roast a marshmallow.

JUMP IN A LAKE

...just bring the salt incase of leaches. Though, they're rare in many clean waters. Just ensure you bring an 'emergency leach kit' incase of the worst-case-scenerio that could occur. Now that you're induced with irrational anxiety, we welcome you to find a local lake and jump into it! Clothes optional. There's nothing like jumping into the waters of a lake. Whether it's off the dock of a friend's cottage or a local watering hole close to home, make sure you and your kiddos get a nice, refreshing soak before the summer ends.

GO TO THAT WATERPARK YOU'VE ALWAYS HEARD ABOUT


You know the one! The one that's likely an hour's drive, and you happen to have pulled every excuse in the book to avoid it this season. But, the summer's almost done. Your kids have heard numerous, exciting stories from the kids in school and it would be really fun for the adults, too. So, pack up a good lunch. Slather on that sunscreen. Ensure you leave at prime nap time and hit the road. It's time to finally visit (and splurge on emission) that big ol' waterpark you've heard about all summer long.

GO TO THE BEACH

This many seem mundane. This may even sound silly to suggest, but have you gone to the beach this summer? Perhaps just once, considering a beach trip with children isn't always as relaxing as you'd hoped. Maybe you should have consider small hacks like bringing a fitted sheet, filling the corners with heavy rocks, so sand will not enter it's surface as easily to get into your snacks. Yes- you're welcome for that one. Regardless, we think you should the beach mother than you have this summer.

TAKE A TRIP TO A SPLASH PAD

Whether your child is 2 or 12, a splash pad is always a great idea. Have you ever been, anticipating a boring experience, only to find you're giggling more than your small child? Well, that went for all of us! We've all been there. We've all experienced our second childhood in total glee, especially when water is involved. So pack up your stroller or car with the essentials: a change of clothes, snacks and sunscreen. Then hit the splash pad to run wild in the summer air for one last time this year!


SOURCE: https://www.moms.com/end-of-summer-parent-child-activities/